Anonymous wrote:Home purchase planning for a married couple and parents of two young kids. What PITI if we might have to stretch? Is $4k too far?

-Age: early 40s
-Two kids, kindergarten and 3rd grade.
-Gross income $250k (may go to $270k pending a possible promotion within two years, then don't expect more than routine annual increases).
-Assets: $400k equity in our home (but really that goes down to $350kish for a down payment after all the selling fees and such)
-Savings: $65k anticipated by the time we are ready to purchase.
-No student loans or current car debt (but anticipate new car needed in a couple years and will most likely need to finance)
-$20k and $10k in 529s for each kid, respectively (aiming to pay for at least 2 years of state school)
-$350k in 401ks. Yes, behind in our early 40s; anticipate continuing to max this for the next 23 years. DH isn't sure he wants to retire though, he hates sitting around.

DC area and it seems that still puts us at $800k-$900k for an hour commute and with mortgage rates, and restricted inventory, seems where we're looking, the $800k listings are going into bidding wars and selling for $900k+. Unwilling to look at rowhouses after dealing with every problem in the book living in one. Single family homes only (can be small), just don't want to be attached to neighbors anymore and want a small yard.

This potentially means PITI around $4k unless mortgage rates drop substantially. We could buy a cheaper house and don't mind things being a bit of date or just need to replace some carpet and repaint. However, generally the cheaper houses do need some work, so then if we have to drop our down payment to afford the home updates, the PITI is the same in the end.

So, $4K PITI. Can we? Should we?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we have a similar salary, but higher 401(k) and 529 balances and less equity in our current home (we expect about $250K when we sell). We are looking in the $4500-$4700 range. I suspect this means we are looking at very similar homes -- the further out you get, the more house you get for your money. If you're in Virginia, the further south you go, the more house you get for your money. Look in Springfield/Burke/Fairfax Station for good schools in that price range.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have similar stats as u with higher income $300k, more in our 3 kids 529s and retirement. Our PITI is $2500 and I can’t imagine doing more than that. We’re in PG county and our house is worth $600k (a little over $200k that what we purchase for). I have a 40 min metro commute to my DC office that I rarely go to.

Our kids go to private school, albeit more affordable Christian school, and do extracurriculars and we vacation every year.

Why would you spend that much when u can get what u need with less? Maybe expand the area where you’re looking?

Editing to add that we do have SFH with a nice sized yard and pretty much walking distance to school and metro and everything else we need.

How is the commute to Alexandria from PG though? That's where DH works

I think you can afford it. What about Fairfax or Burke? There's houses in the 700-800 range there and lots of land with them--1970s suburban style houses generally but with larger plots and older trees than average. I know someone who just bought a SFH there for under 800k.

Thanks! That's actually an area we're looking, but seeing the homes sell for way over listing. So list for 800s, sell for 900s. I guess I'm trying to anticipate a competitive real estate environment where we need to bid up and need to know how far we can max.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your PITI now? You’re already behind on your retirement and 529s. And your income is likely going to be pretty stagnant. I think you’re setting yourself up with a stressful quality of life. I mean you are likely buying houses not as worth as much as you’re paying for them (bc of the low inventory) and high interest rates. It just seems like a terrible idea even if you technically can afford it.

2500. FWIW, when I project out retirement (I have. Spreadsheet projecting contributions and returns) we'll have $3.5M by the time we hit age 63ish assuming an annual 5-6 percent return, not counting other savings, plus DH doesn't think he'd retire (I probably would work part time). I'm struggling with DCUM standards vs routine middle class national standards. Like, I don't expect to do ski weekends. We are frugal with vacations, we stack travel card credit card points and have gone to europe several times without paying for airfare and even some of the lodging for us and kids. What am I saving beyond for?

I also don't expect to save further for our kids beyond two years state school (doable with family money and $500-600/month contributions per kid between now and then). I don't expect to leave them inheritance beyond whatever we got left when we go.

This is unrealistic unless he plans on dying at 70. He is going to stop being employable, and his body and mind will give out. Not retiring is not a plan to pay for your care in elder years.

The reason we are saying OP can't afford it is they have not been able to save much while paying 2500 and they need to save more, so paying an extra 1500/month will make it difficult.

OP has enough money and can afford it.
If they want to work until 70, they can. Many people continue to work at that age.
OP is very realistic about what they need for college and retirement and they are not behind at all by normal standards.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your PITI now? You’re already behind on your retirement and 529s. And your income is likely going to be pretty stagnant. I think you’re setting yourself up with a stressful quality of life. I mean you are likely buying houses not as worth as much as you’re paying for them (bc of the low inventory) and high interest rates. It just seems like a terrible idea even if you technically can afford it.

2500. FWIW, when I project out retirement (I have. Spreadsheet projecting contributions and returns) we'll have $3.5M by the time we hit age 63ish assuming an annual 5-6 percent return, not counting other savings, plus DH doesn't think he'd retire (I probably would work part time). I'm struggling with DCUM standards vs routine middle class national standards. Like, I don't expect to do ski weekends. We are frugal with vacations, we stack travel card credit card points and have gone to europe several times without paying for airfare and even some of the lodging for us and kids. What am I saving beyond for?

I also don't expect to save further for our kids beyond two years state school (doable with family money and $500-600/month contributions per kid between now and then). I don't expect to leave them inheritance beyond whatever we got left when we go.

This is unrealistic unless he plans on dying at 70. He is going to stop being employable, and his body and mind will give out. Not retiring is not a plan to pay for your care in elder years.

The reason we are saying OP can't afford it is they have not been able to save much while paying 2500 and they need to save more, so paying an extra 1500/month will make it difficult.

Anonymous wrote:OP, we have a similar salary, but higher 401(k) and 529 balances and less equity in our current home (we expect about $250K when we sell). We are looking in the $4500-$4700 range. I suspect this means we are looking at very similar homes -- the further out you get, the more house you get for your money. If you're in Virginia, the further south you go, the more house you get for your money. Look in Springfield/Burke/Fairfax Station for good schools in that price range.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your PITI now? You’re already behind on your retirement and 529s. And your income is likely going to be pretty stagnant. I think you’re setting yourself up with a stressful quality of life. I mean you are likely buying houses not as worth as much as you’re paying for them (bc of the low inventory) and high interest rates. It just seems like a terrible idea even if you technically can afford it.

2500. FWIW, when I project out retirement (I have. Spreadsheet projecting contributions and returns) we'll have $3.5M by the time we hit age 63ish assuming an annual 5-6 percent return, not counting other savings, plus DH doesn't think he'd retire (I probably would work part time). I'm struggling with DCUM standards vs routine middle class national standards. Like, I don't expect to do ski weekends. We are frugal with vacations, we stack travel card credit card points and have gone to europe several times without paying for airfare and even some of the lodging for us and kids. What am I saving beyond for?

I also don't expect to save further for our kids beyond two years state school (doable with family money and $500-600/month contributions per kid between now and then). I don't expect to leave them inheritance beyond whatever we got left when we go.

This is unrealistic unless he plans on dying at 70. He is going to stop being employable, and his body and mind will give out. Not retiring is not a plan to pay for your care in elder years.

The reason we are saying OP can't afford it is they have not been able to save much while paying 2500 and they need to save more, so paying an extra 1500/month will make it difficult.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your PITI now? You’re already behind on your retirement and 529s. And your income is likely going to be pretty stagnant. I think you’re setting yourself up with a stressful quality of life. I mean you are likely buying houses not as worth as much as you’re paying for them (bc of the low inventory) and high interest rates. It just seems like a terrible idea even if you technically can afford it.

2500. FWIW, when I project out retirement (I have. Spreadsheet projecting contributions and returns) we'll have $3.5M by the time we hit age 63ish assuming an annual 5-6 percent return, not counting other savings, plus DH doesn't think he'd retire (I probably would work part time). I'm struggling with DCUM standards vs routine middle class national standards. Like, I don't expect to do ski weekends. We are frugal with vacations, we stack travel card credit card points and have gone to europe several times without paying for airfare and even some of the lodging for us and kids. What am I saving beyond for?

I also don't expect to save further for our kids beyond two years state school (doable with family money and $500-600/month contributions per kid between now and then). I don't expect to leave them inheritance beyond whatever we got left when we go.

This is unrealistic unless he plans on dying at 70. He is going to stop being employable, and his body and mind will give out. Not retiring is not a plan to pay for your care in elder years.

The reason we are saying OP can't afford it is they have not been able to save much while paying 2500 and they need to save more, so paying an extra 1500/month will make it difficult.

To be fair, having two kids roughly five years apart meant a decade of daycare. We also had car loans and student loans.

All of that is now done as of this past year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s your PITI now? You’re already behind on your retirement and 529s. And your income is likely going to be pretty stagnant. I think you’re setting yourself up with a stressful quality of life. I mean you are likely buying houses not as worth as much as you’re paying for them (bc of the low inventory) and high interest rates. It just seems like a terrible idea even if you technically can afford it.

2500. FWIW, when I project out retirement (I have. Spreadsheet projecting contributions and returns) we'll have $3.5M by the time we hit age 63ish assuming an annual 5-6 percent return, not counting other savings, plus DH doesn't think he'd retire (I probably would work part time). I'm struggling with DCUM standards vs routine middle class national standards. Like, I don't expect to do ski weekends. We are frugal with vacations, we stack travel card credit card points and have gone to europe several times without paying for airfare and even some of the lodging for us and kids. What am I saving beyond for?

I also don't expect to save further for our kids beyond two years state school (doable with family money and $500-600/month contributions per kid between now and then). I don't expect to leave them inheritance beyond whatever we got left when we go.

This is unrealistic unless he plans on dying at 70. He is going to stop being employable, and his body and mind will give out. Not retiring is not a plan to pay for your care in elder years.

The reason we are saying OP can't afford it is they have not been able to save much while paying 2500 and they need to save more, so paying an extra 1500/month will make it difficult.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Here's why I don't want to be attached anymore. Living in a rowhouse we dealt with:

-A hoarding neighbor with a cockroach infestation that infiltrated our walls. It was only made better by....

-Neighbor home catching fire causing soot damage that traveled into multiple adjacent rowhouses. Displaced for nearly a year due to this, though on the plus side, not a cockroach since we moved back in.

-Smoke that infiltrated brick walls and nothing would make it better; running an air purifier nonstop when I had a newborn

Also just sick of hearing loud noises at all hours, still with the wafting smoke, and on and on.

I also freaking love gardening and I want to garden the sh*t out of a backyard that's bigger than a rowhouse plot.

So SFH only.

For college savings... I own about a quarter of my mom's house (she died) and informed my siblings I want my quarter, so at some point I'll get it. They are going to rent the house, but I don't want the share as it's in another state.

Probably $80k when all is said and done, and I will add this to the kids college fund.

please address this plan. How many siblings are there? How certain are you that they will sell so you can get your quarter when you need it? If they don’t want to sell you may have time consuming legal battles. Just saying, don’t count on a co-owned property being a reliable source of funds for something like kids college.