Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

I'm saying it's not that different from a 1 earner $350k and public school vs. 2 earners, $750k and taxes and private schools.

And I think you’re right. I quit my biglaw counsel job and our finances are basically exactly the same as before. After income taxes, convenience taxes, childcare, commuting costs, etc, we are almost exactly where we started.

Not a “numerically-challenged SAHM.” This is just our reality.

They don’t want to hear it because they are busting their behinds for basically nothing.

Anonymous wrote:I know this sounds stupid but it’s depressing to think that I could have married someone making my salary and we’d have a 700k HHI. On 350k there are so many nice houses out of reach that would be affordable on two of my incomes.

But you don’t need a nicer house.

Get a grip.

Your values sound really screwed up.

Try to get grounded, especially if you are raising kids.

Are you for real?

Get thee to a mental health provider!

I walk from Union Station to my office every day where so many people sleep in tents in 20 or 30 degree weather. And then I see posts like this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

I'm saying it's not that different from a 1 earner $350k and public school vs. 2 earners, $750k and taxes and private schools.

And I think you’re right. I quit my biglaw counsel job and our finances are basically exactly the same as before. After income taxes, convenience taxes, childcare, commuting costs, etc, we are almost exactly where we started.

Not a “numerically-challenged SAHM.” This is just our reality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

I'm saying it's not that different from a 1 earner $350k and public school vs. 2 earners, $750k and taxes and private schools.

Agree with the above. In fact we are contemplating this right now. Currently around 550k HHI with 1 in private and another one about to start private in a high income tax state (CA), with an Au Pair. We have run the numbers and it would be financially feasible and potential better for our quality of life to move to a state with no income tax, I’d become a SAHP, send our kids to a good public, and my spouse (who works remote) would become the sole breadwinner on a 350k income.

I seem to misplaced my tiniest violin but be aware I'm looking for it on your behalf.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

I'm saying it's not that different from a 1 earner $350k and public school vs. 2 earners, $750k and taxes and private schools.

It does sound stupid.

If you made $700k by yourself those homes would be within reach.

Anonymous wrote:If you have a 1:1 nanny instead of preschool/school (which is what a SAHM acts as for the kid), and a job with high "showoff" expenses like suits instead of casual, and a long hours job so you can't cook, it add up.

Of course, that only really applies for the non-school years, unless you go for intensive homeschooling also.

A SAHP who does the homemaking work is worth a lot and is extremely tax advantages, since homemaking outsourcing is not tax deductible.

https://faithit.com/i-cant-afford-my-wife-steven-nelms/

Putting a chunk of your income in 401k is also extremely tax advantageous.

If you have a 1:1 nanny instead of preschool/school (which is what a SAHM acts as for the kid), and a job with high "showoff" expenses like suits instead of casual, and a long hours job so you can't cook, it add up.

Of course, that only really applies for the non-school years, unless you go for intensive homeschooling also.

A SAHP who does the homemaking work is worth a lot and is extremely tax advantages, since homemaking outsourcing is not tax deductible.

https://faithit.com/i-cant-afford-my-wife-steven-nelms/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

This is what numerically-challenged SAHMs tell themselves.

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

You are trying to say that a 700k dual income household is the same as a 350k single income household?
No way. This is so far from the reality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes but then $175k of that $350k would go to taxes and another $75-$100k for childcare. A lot of the rest would be eaten up by other outsourcing and buying more clothes, dry cleaning and communing costs. Your lifestyle wouldn’t be much better, and you’d just have two stressed out overworked parents.

75-100k for childcare?! When we did this we had an au pair and part time preschool. It was way less than that even counting pre-tax.

NP but this is unfortunately easily doable if you opt for expensive but not outrageous options. our last year for 4 and 1 yo: 65k+ nanny salary and nanny taxes. 16K morning pre-K for older DC during school year, 4K morning summer camp for older DC.

Sure, but most people don’t need 55hrs a week of childcare. Our peak Weald an Aupair which cost us all in 30k and part time preschool through a local church for about $600/mo. We threw in a few summer camps for another 5k.

Spending what you describe is bananas. Not all high earning dual income families need outrageously long childcare hours.

Where do you live? I truly wish these were outrageous and bananas decisions leading to these childcare costs. This is for 42.5 hours/week of nanny care paid at a living wage with overtime (though still not high wage or anything), and my spouse actually informed me that my accounting is quite wrong. The 65K is only her gross salary, our nanny taxes were on top of this. We live in a condo and preferred not to squeeze an au pair in with us.

Where we live there are no church daycares that are that cheap except for the one at the a catholic school, but it’s not close to us and would have been hard to do the mid day pick ups, and we are not catholic. I definitely admit that we are privileged to be able to afford the nanny, but our situation isnt that far fetched. It’s reality for many upper middle two working parent households in hcol places…

*you would NOT have had aore luxurious lifestyle