Anonymous
Post 05/21/2023 10:15     Subject: younger brother
Op, establish a rhythm. What can you give? Keep it consistent. Let me know (roughly) when the next time is you can see him. That way he knows what to expect. This will be calmer. But you will have to be consistent and very reliable, so choose a rhythm you can sustain. And btw, saying "the YOUNGER brother". Forget this entirely. You are equal adults. Make sure you are always treating him as an equal adult.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2023 09:29     Subject: Re:younger brother
My brother is 16 years younger than me - we are very close to each other and now that he has moved 6 mins away from us we see each other EVERY day almost.
We are both married - me with a teen and he has a newborn.
Busyness doesnt deter us from not being in contact either.
Op have a heart reach out to your brother once twice a week / month at the very least.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 15:59     Subject: younger brother
Two types of families- those they stay in near daily touch and those that never look back once they are 18.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 14:00     Subject: younger brother
Care about your brother with whatever gender he is
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 13:59     Subject: younger brother
*him
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 13:59     Subject: younger brother
Talk to your brother. Invite him. You ignoring him made me act awkwardly and maybe that's why he didn't get married if that's what he wants. Either way, love your brother. He's not a murderer or pedophile.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 13:56     Subject: younger brother
Op has a cold heart. Are all Americans like this? Other cultures they kiss on the cheeks, hugs.

Your brother seems nice. Now if he molested you when you were a kid then push him out. I hate my older brother. I try to not talk to him at all. Ugh disgusting. I'm glad I'm here and not south America where he is.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 12:49     Subject: younger brother
Op seems like brunch granny in disguise and yet another thread about weird 30 and 40 somethings who are weird simply because they aren't married and awesome
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2023 09:17     Subject: Re:younger brother
Anonymous wrote:Being connected with your family is a good thing…

Do you live near each other? Do you invite him to your children’s games / activities / etc on occasion? Having a relationship with a loving uncle is a blessing for your kids too…

I can’t imagine being anything but appreciative and excited about a sibling who wanted to stay close / in contact. So weird


Yeah, this seems so nice to me! I get that OP feels like it's a burden, but having siblings who care and want to stay in touch is a pretty precious thing, even if you have to find an in-between level of communication. (And yes, I'm the oldest daughter with husband, kids, and job, while my brothers are single, and I still wish they wanted to keep in touch more. I'm jealous of my husband's active Slack with his sisters and brothers in law.)
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2023 20:54     Subject: Re:younger brother
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You must not have been raised in a loving birth family. Too bad.


OP here. No quite the opposite! Very loving family, but when you are the older sister who has gone on to get married have multiple kids and throw in life, career, cooking ,cleaning, h.w., house repairs, car stuff, and on and on etc... But you have younger siblings who never got married and have all the time in the world, it can get really annoying.

I am the older sister (also 5 years) and I do all that stuff while maintaining a relationship with my brother. He's across the country so we facetime 1-2 times a month. We honestly have so much fun chit chatting and gossiping, I feel sad for you that you can't enjoy it.
( you can talk on the phone while cooking/cleaning/running errands btw)
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2023 15:22     Subject: younger brother
You two sound on opposite sides of the emotional spectrum. Please understand that neither of you is "weird", and just as you have the right to a little personal space, so does he has a right to some affection (in the form of news and how are yous) every now and then.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2023 15:19     Subject: younger brother
Op, my brother is older, doesn’t want to work, and is unmarried. I have a career, kid and husband. He definitely has untreated mental health issues and vacillates between being engaged and loving to sending me and my husband really weird, scary messages. I’m sick of the roller coaster and have now disengaged, so get you. Ignore the mean messages from other posters and protect yourself and your family.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2023 15:08     Subject: Re:younger brother


Wow so sorry OP. You have a younger brother who wants to have a relationship and is clearly trying to be included in your life but it's annoying and an inconvenience to you. I hope you teach your children to value their relationships with their siblings.
Hope life gets better.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2023 11:49     Subject: younger brother
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you communicate with him? I'd stop emailing novels or having super long phone calls and switch to daily text messages.

"Hey brother, have a great day" a few times a week. He can update you if he wants, you check it when you want. Send a picture of your kids after work, or your garden, or whatever here and there. He'll feel more connected I'd imagine because you have a sort of daily touch point, but it doesn't have to involve an entire debrief of every single thing that's happening in your life.

If that won't suffice, I'm not sure I have other advice expect ignore the little sad "haven't heard from you in a while" and just keep doing what you're doing.


np Why are you interpreting this as "sad" instead of a positive and happy way?


When someone says it in a happy, positive way, it's normally because they are content with the level of communication that is happening, and yet are still happy to hear from the person when communication picks up.

While I can't be sure because I am not OP, I get the sense that her brother is saying is to convey his disappointment in the level of communication that is happening. More of a small emotional manipulation tool to get his point across that she is failing his expectations.



THIS! He definitely manipulates!