I graduated college and moved home with a full time job and enrolled in graduate school. My parents told me I could live at home rent-free for two months and then either move out on my own or pay rent at home. I moved out in a month and into an apartment that my sister wouldn't even visit (it was bad.) I ate a lot of ramen, had to go into my office on the weekends to work on my grad stuff since I couldn't afford the internet, and struggled through to my first promotion that gave me the tiniest bit of breathing room. I would not trade that experience for anything. I developed confidence I would not have found otherwise and learned how to live on little. And yeah, I also knew that my parents would have helped if I found myself in a bind but I never asked them for a dime. I'll be giving my daughters the gift of an education and after that it's launch time. There's a reason that kids today lack grit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine not charging rent (my kid has a decent job l8ned up) but my husband doesn’t want our kid to rush into an apartment lease. So I don’t know.

DC moved in after they graduated and we set up a pretend budget as if they were going to be living in an apartment and estimated their living and eating costs. (I pumped it up a bit) We said they needed to set up an investment account at Fidelity or wherever they wanted and they needed to deposit the estimated amount into that each month. Then, we said they needed to put in the max to their company sponsored 501k plan (15%)

That way, they would not get used to too much extra spending money.

They did their own laundry and were required to cook one dinner a week for everyone.

They ended up living at home for 2 1/2 years before they moved out and had a very nice nest egg in the Fidelity account.

This is the perfect way to do it! By the time your kid moved out, they were well on their way towards a decent retirement (starting early is the key) and likely near a decent downpayment for a starter home/townhome/condo. And also well aware of what it costs to be an adult .

Anonymous wrote:I guess we're in the minority. We are charging our DS a token amount of rent. He has a fantastic job and is saving over half of his salary between buying company stock options, putting money into a separate stock account, building up a cash reserve equal to 6 months of his salary and maxing out his 401K. His "rent" is slightly more than what I'm spending buying him food, which includes when we go out to dinner a couple of times a month. He works virtually from home so he's eating three meals a day at home. He also is paying his portion of the cell phone bill and pays for his own automobile insurance.

Sounds normal

I paid rent. But I also ate for free every day

Anonymous wrote:There needs to be a goal and target move-out date. If they are going for a local graduate degree or saving up for a down payment on a condo, I would allow rent-free for up to 4 years. After that, they need to have the experience of living independently which includes handling an adult life with all its responsibilities and costs.

Yes, marriage.

There needs to be a goal and target move-out date. If they are going for a local graduate degree or saving up for a down payment on a condo, I would allow rent-free for up to 4 years. After that, they need to have the experience of living independently which includes handling an adult life with all its responsibilities and costs.

Anonymous wrote:As long as my child is pleasant in the household, self-supporting & cleans up after themselves, they can live at home forever.

+1.

I guess we're in the minority. We are charging our DS a token amount of rent. He has a fantastic job and is saving over half of his salary between buying company stock options, putting money into a separate stock account, building up a cash reserve equal to 6 months of his salary and maxing out his 401K. His "rent" is slightly more than what I'm spending buying him food, which includes when we go out to dinner a couple of times a month. He works virtually from home so he's eating three meals a day at home. He also is paying his portion of the cell phone bill and pays for his own automobile insurance.

For future reference (literally), there is a thread called "Adult children" now. It is under Parenting Discussion Forums.

Anonymous wrote:I would charge monthly payment amount for the student loan and parent loan, and pay that.

I would charge rent and give the whole amount back when they move out to help pay for and set up an apartment. Kind of forced savings so they do not get used to living for free and spending more than they can really afford.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine not charging rent (my kid has a decent job l8ned up) but my husband doesn’t want our kid to rush into an apartment lease. So I don’t know.

DC moved in after they graduated and we set up a pretend budget as if they were going to be living in an apartment and estimated their living and eating costs. (I pumped it up a bit) We said they needed to set up an investment account at Fidelity or wherever they wanted and they needed to deposit the estimated amount into that each month. Then, we said they needed to put in the max to their company sponsored 501k plan (15%)

That way, they would not get used to too much extra spending money.

They did their own laundry and were required to cook one dinner a week for everyone.

They ended up living at home for 2 1/2 years before they moved out and had a very nice nest egg in the Fidelity account.

Oh man I would have loved to have had that parental situation. My parents lost their home to foreclosure before I graduated, so I had no place to go. I slept on the floor of my mother's studio apartment for a few months until I saved up enough to pay the security deposit (with a roommate) on the world's worst apartment. Those first few years were terrifying - I could barely afford food on my salary. If the smallest thing happened, from a fender-bender to a medical problem, it was a major financial crisis. I realistically worried about ending up homeless. I ended up deeply in debt and in a lot of trouble, and was only pulled out of it when I met my husband. Who didn't make me pay rent, but did make me open a Fidelity account.

I would never force my child out on their own that soon if I could help it. We will probably take your parents' approach.

It's your kid, so do what you want. But if I have permission to be judgy, I think it's wrong-headed and short-sighted to charge a kid rent in that situation. If you want to give your kids the best start in life, then letting them build up some savings and maybe invest in a house later is a smart thing to do. Or at least they can save enough so that they can comfortably sign a lease and not worry about getting themselves in over their head. I don't really understand why people are so eager to get rid of their kids - keeping them around provides them with a great financial headstart in life. Forcing them out on their own from the start will put them at a disadvantage. I just don't understand why people even have kids if they just want to get rid of them at the first opportunity.