jeez. I took both my kids to the urgent care in Fairfax City, on route 123. It was fine. Not "traumatizing". One went directly to the psych ward, the other was sent home.

Both are doing much better.

The ER was the beginning for both kids of accepting the help they needed.

Blood work, take to doctor, no immediate danger send home!

OP ask your kid to write a note to the friend, share some news, tell some jokes, and invite friend to get together afterward. Maybe enclose a small memento of some kind. Whenever the friend is able to read the note, it will lift their spirit.

Anonymous wrote:Even if they want to admit him, he'll likely spend several days or longer boarding in the ER, waiting for a bed. If you know the parents, consider reaching out to ask if he would appreciate a phone call or other communication from your child.

That won’t be possible. They won’t be letting him talk to friends if he’s waiting for an inpatient bed while in the ER.

At one point the ER option was presented to us when my child was somewhere else. We were told we would not even be allowed to wait with him and he could be taken anywhere in the state when they found a bed.

DH works in an ER (adult, not peds). The poster, who described having all their items taken, put in a gown then, sent to in an isolated room with a sitter and waiting for evaluation is what happens.

My sister sadly took my nephew to the ER at 8. He was admitted to an inpatient program. The parents were not allowed to object. He was there for about 2 weeks. A private doctor changed his diagnosis which changeed his medication to something with less side effects. He eventually got back to school. Had had issues on and off but is happy in college at the moment. I am not sure they would reccomend the ER again (for such a young child) unless it was a last resort.

OP here: thank you for all the replies. I really appreciate them. I was able to give my son a better understanding of what his friend is going through.

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry for all families that go through this.

+1

I took DC to Inova Fairfax last year. DC was 18, so might be different for a younger child.

The things that surprised me the most were:

1. DC could not have any of their belongings - phone, stuffed animal, clothes, even earrings had to be removed and were stored elsewhere.

2. After many, many hours of waiting, DC was assessed by a counselor and determined to be at risk of harming themselves. At that point, our choices were to 1) have DC voluntarily admit themselves or 2) have the hospital petition the court to involuntarily admit. There was no option that would have allowed DC to leave. The hospital cannot take the risk DC would leave and harm themself.

3. DC was taken by ambulance to another hospital with open psych beds. Once there, they had a private room and bathroom and could wear their own clothing as long as it had no strings (including shoelaces and sweatshirt/sweatpant drawstrings).

It was deeply traumatic for both of us but also the only thing we could do at that point. I don't regret taking DC to the ER but also desperately hope we never have to do it again.

I’m so sorry for all families that go through this.