Anonymous wrote:I am so, so sorry, OP. Try NAMI, if you’ve not already: https://nami.org/Home

If you google “NAMI” and the state/jurisdiction you’re in, you can find their local chapter. If nothing else, they offer wonderful support and can advise on resources.

It sounds like it would be a long shot, but if your DC is ever hospitalized and you’re in a position to push for injectable antipsychotics, that’s preferable for someone who won’t stay on their meds. There are only so many that can be injected, though, depending on what your DC has found successful (if any). You’re not alone in this struggle, painful as it is.

Thank you for your suggestion. I have been attending NAMI F2F classes and support groups since 2021 to get better perspective on the illness. With information from NAMI classes, I advocated for DC to get the injectable medication from end of 2021 to mid of 2022. The doctor also gave DC lot of other medication that caused many side effects. Due to the serious side effects, DC stopped medication and things went downhill again. In spite of knowing a lot about the illness, I could not keep DC medicine compliant. For last month of so I am struggling to convince the hospitals to motivate DC to be medicine complaint, the insurance for preauthorization for intensive therapy, the therapy facilities to start preregistering and DC to agree for intensive therapy. I am drowning with worry!

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any advice to offer but just wanted to say that you & your AC have my sympathies. That sounds like a very difficult situation.

Thank you very much for your empathy. I wish our health care, insurance and legal systems were empathetic too.

I have a relative who was pretty bad off but she is now stabilized. She says what turned her life around was a new drug she was given. It is a shot that lasts for 3 months. I don't remember the name of it, but I was able to google it just by the description she gave me. She said it works within minutes and she can feel she needs another shot right around the 3 month mark. She is bipolar. Perhaps you can ask his doctor if there is something similar for your son's condition. My relative feels this is a wonder drug. Keeping someone stabilized for 3 months without adhering to a schedule of taking pills is a good thing, especially if it works!

There's a book "I'm not sick and don't need help" that could be a good resource.

OP - DS should have no access to your car or to any car until he is clean. The owner of the car is the one liable for any injury to others or car damages.

Anonymous wrote:If you are giving DC money and he’s using it to buy put, cut off the funds, as well as the car. DWI will definitely get him put away, which I would never want for my child.

DP. Also, he’s using the car to drive to the vape shop a few blocks or a mile away, to get Delta 8. If you Google Delta 8, you’ll see it can cause psychosis.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-05-04/heavy-marijuana-use-increases-schizophrenia-in-men-study-finds

DARS was useless for my area of NOVA, Alexandria. The adult had to be on Medicaid. Kid got his own job.

Under what conditions has your son considered giving up pot. As earlier posters have noted, this behavior is seen with the more potent variety now available. He is also the age schizophrenia is seen. Need to get a willing adult child and a good psychiatrist, along with a therapist to solve this. Does he have any idea the pot/ other drugs may be contributing to his symptoms?

I live your life but I’m farther in than you and where you say college, insert HS. We didn’t let our child either away. But we can’t allow our family to be terrorized and life cannot revolve solely around him. Here’s what we did:

- Took away all access to our money. That meant we had to lock our credit cards and cash and jewelry in our cars and sleep with our keys. He got a job.

- Took away his access to our cars. Again, sleeping with keys. But we don’t think he’s safe. I gave him a metro pass and add money to it. Plus we all help drive him places that we approve of when we can.

- Call police for every single violent episode. We say we won’t intervene but he’s never gotten arrested so that hasn’t been tested.

- Decided our line in the sand for him to live with us. For us that means no smoking, vaping, or using drugs in the house and no bringing any related materials into the house. He can store things outside but not where the dogs can get to it. We know he drinks in his room but he keeps it there and we decided to live with that. Taking medication as prescribed is also an requirement.

Reaching this point has improved our lives dramatically and we’re living pretty peacefully right now. And he’s actually pleasant and appreciates what we do for him. He doesn’t want to leave so he’s conceded to our requirements and we’ve allowed some things that we don’t love, like incense burning. But the big key was deciding our lines in the sand and making them clear.

It’s not easy and I’m not sure my son will ever live independently. But who knows. Four years ago we didn’t except ext he’d still be alive at this point so anything can happen.

OP - Other things I wanted to look up for DS

- On health care coverage, if you had the resources and wanted to keep the option of a good family health insurance, at age 26, DS could be covered at the rate of a single adult for three more years.

- On outpatient treatment , one program I have seen is The Dorm serving 18-30 year olds. This might be a resource for the future to know about.

- Finally, the idea of DS making a positive connection to others not necessarily focused in mental health might come looking at all the various options of under “Men’s Support Groups”

OP - You need to consider the use of the car if you own it as you would be held liable for any accident. We are in VA so the idea of NAMI and the CSB are excellent. Check the similar system in MD. Wherever DS is living, be sure no weapons are in the house. Since aggression against family members can happen, you need to consider impact on any siblings long term and get some professional counseling on how to balance support for this DS and that of other family members. NAMI will be a sounding board for you and other family members to find local resources and to have honest feedback on what you can do.
Until DS accepts the need for medication, there is little chance hospitalization or therapy will help.

If there is one thing that might be a neutral starting point, I would suggest to encourage any physical activity DS might be interested in doing — outside at this time of year would be best. The exercise could be the first step I. Developing a daily routine and is often a way to reduce anxiety in folks. Through an interest one might also find interaction with other adults such as swimming, running. Hiking, biking etc. If joining a community center or gym was doable, again aplace to go daily despite weather.

Considerations

- If DS is older than 26 and no longer on your family insurance, you may want to see if he could qualify for Medicaid as an individual if there services he needs could be covered by it. You may have to consider just how much you could cover as private pay.

- In time, if DS does accept treatment, he may also qualify for job related services in Virginia through the DARS -
Department of Aging & Rehabilitative Services. These services could be in job search, job training and job support. In any area it would be under vocational services. These services do not need Medicaid.

- You may want to look at your future planning fir him to set up the appropriate trust mechanism so that any fun’s you would leave for him could not be accessed all at once. There are different options.

- Maybe see if there are any non-specific support grouos for young adults with various challenges including substance abuse, unemployment, mental health etc. That could simply be given to DS if he wanted to try to attend.

PP - buy pot.

If you are giving DC money and he’s using it to buy put, cut off the funds, as well as the car. DWI will definitely get him put away, which I would never want for my child.

OP not sure if this article will help but it may make you feel less alone. Basically the system is a mess. I am so sorry you are dealing with this

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2023/05/american-madness-schizophrenia-mental-illness/673490/