A housekeeper who can fill in with some of the needs of the children sounds ideal. For example, someone who cleans, cooks and is willing to run them to activities when needed. Anyone have such a person? Where did you find them and how much do you pay?

Anonymous wrote:Mom needs therapy for PPA. Those asks are controlling and anxiety-driven.

Alternatively, she should just hire a nanny for PT childcare while she rests. This only makes sense if there is clear on-duty and off-duty times: So nanny has baby from 9-11, then mom from 11-1 while nanny does chores.

But really, some of the asks are just not going to be tenable for any childcare- particularly, forbidding naps in the stroller, no walks alone, no solids.

Yes the walks thing is a clear red flag for anxiety/obsessive behavior and she does need help. No nanny will accept a position where they can’t walk alone with the kid. And no nanny will wake up a sleeping baby!

I think a lot of the joy in nannying is the bond with the child. Being silly with them during meals, taking them on “adventures” and seeing them discover new things etc. It sounds like your friend only wants the most boring parts - endless floor play with baby, micromanaged to extent they couldn’t even pick out a snack for baby, and then expected to fade into wall whenever mom is around. It’s clear this mom would resent any bond the nanny formed and heaven forbid the kid ever said “nanny do it!” When mom was trying to feed them. So of course nanny’s are going to take a more fun job for the same comp even if this one is less work technically.

I agree she should look for a mothers helper - I have a college student do more of this role one day a week for me. Play at home so I can get other things done, tidy up, join me on outtings (I have 3 kids), but no expectation that she is a nanny type level on either side