Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t she handle it? We need more information. Sharing a room is great way to become more considerate, empathetic, kind, etc. Plus, it helps things go more smoothly when you get married or move in with your significant other.

Some kids grow up in small houses or apartments and have never had their own room. They’ve already learned how to share and be considerate because they didn’t have a single … ever.

Living with family members is different from living with literal strangers, but you knew that.

Ok. But what is the actual life benefit to sleeping 5 feet away from a “literal stranger”?

None.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t she handle it? We need more information. Sharing a room is great way to become more considerate, empathetic, kind, etc. Plus, it helps things go more smoothly when you get married or move in with your significant other.

Some kids grow up in small houses or apartments and have never had their own room. They’ve already learned how to share and be considerate because they didn’t have a single … ever.

Living with family members is different from living with literal strangers, but you knew that.

Ok. But what is the actual life benefit to sleeping 5 feet away from a “literal stranger”?

We’re buying a condo near school.

Yep, the learning experience is really important. I get why the OP and/or her DD are concerned, but this is part of growing up. Parents gotta let go and teenagers need to have their own experiences, without a hovering parent trying to solve all the potential issues in advance. I know it's hard, OP & PPs, I was there last August, but it all works out. Letting go, letting your kids figure out how to relate to others, is all part of the path to adulthood.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t she handle it? We need more information. Sharing a room is great way to become more considerate, empathetic, kind, etc. Plus, it helps things go more smoothly when you get married or move in with your significant other.

Some kids grow up in small houses or apartments and have never had their own room. They’ve already learned how to share and be considerate because they didn’t have a single … ever.

Living with family members is different from living with literal strangers, but you knew that.

I lived with a random assigned roommate for a few months freshman year. It was a disaster. She moved out to be with a more compatible friend, leaving me with a single, yay! There were offenses on both sides, but I will talk about hers: She ate extremely stinky food in the room, and didn't dispose of food trash outside the room. She smelled bad. She once had a guy over -- they were doing it, and didnt lock the door - I walked in and got an eyeful. Not that matters anymore, but we had nothing in common, no chance at being friends, and I found her repulsive on a gut level.

OK, fine, the stuff I did that I remember she complained about: I once had a friend in our room who would not shut up (it was a female acquaintance I did not invite, probably histrionic, definitely alarming, and I was at a loss to get rid of her for approx 30 mins-- but imagine being THAT chick's roommate). I broke my own glass bottle of perfume, cleaned up right away, but it smelled strongly for a day. I went out drinking, came home late often. I had a bf, but he only came over if roommate told me she was going home for a weekend.

We had a meeting with RA and hashed it out, she came up with rooming with her friend, so it ended all right.

Since then, I have lIved with roommates, but never, ever, with a random person with no connection. I have always lived with friends (that doesn't always go well either, but it's educational) or people that I at least interviewed and had mutual friends with. I honestly don't think it's a natural state of affairs to live with randoms.

We went on a Towson tour a few years ago, and the tour guide made it sound like they were very accommodating if you want a single.

Lots of schools have suites, particularly newer schools or those with new dorms. Sometimes they are reserved for upperclassmen, but my daughter goes to school in Florida and almost all of their dorms are suites. So freshman year she lived in her own room in a suite with four rooms and two baths. Not hard to get, you just have to pay the housing deposit early to get an early housing sign-up date.

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t she handle it? We need more information. Sharing a room is great way to become more considerate, empathetic, kind, etc. Plus, it helps things go more smoothly when you get married or move in with your significant other.

Some kids grow up in small houses or apartments and have never had their own room. They’ve already learned how to share and be considerate because they didn’t have a single … ever.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds a bit spoiled if you ask me. It’s all part of growing up. If she doesn’t want to live with someone, she needs to commute and live at home.

Most college kids have a single room sophomore through senior year if they live in an off-campus house.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.

I say this as a mom of a kid who is incredibly stubborn, sensitive to things and will be a PITA to share a room with, she needs to suck it up and share a room. You won't get a single unless you need medical accommodations. My stubborn kid has a medical condition and qualifies for a single room but she wants a room mate.

You basically roommate shop these days. She needs to be specific up front with potential roommates and find one whose habits are similar to hers. Most kids find their roomates through social media-very few go random-so this can hopefully cut down on some problems (but definitely not all). My first kid's roomate was awful even though she seemed fine on SM and when they first met. DD sucked it up even though the situation wasn't idea. It's a learning experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.

You should make her get a roommate.

+1, these are life skills

+1

Either that or commuter school.


Sorry if I missed it, but is she an only child?

Sounds a bit spoiled if you ask me. It’s all part of growing up. If she doesn’t want to live with someone, she needs to commute and live at home.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is not HFA or SN. She gets annoyed easily at certain sounds & smells, however. She’s currently a junior in high school. She went to an 8 week sleep away camp in middle school and had a tough time living with others. She has former teammates who have complained about their college roommates when she’s seen them. She says that she absolutely could not handle sharing a room because her roommate might burn sage or incense, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes, leave the dorm room propped open to outside leaving the possibility of her stuff being stolen, be too loud at night or get mad at her for waking up really early as she prefers to do.

Looks like she’ll be going to the school closest to you.

Anonymous wrote:There are options like commuting which a lot of kids do.

+1

There are options like commuting which a lot of kids do.