Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 10:24     Subject: Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
I just read Us by Terrence Real which was pretty interesting. Of relevance here, one of the things he says is that therapists are designed to help clients address inferiority issues but rarely take on superiority issues, which also cause lots of problems. I also thought his comments about providing a better emotional inheritance for our kids are interesting
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 10:20     Subject: Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
Alot of people go into therapy because they have issues with other people - parents, spouse, kids, etc. It's easy for that to turn into a self-love cycle of craziness if the other person is not there also contributing to the discussion.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 10:13     Subject: Re:Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
Anonymous wrote:Therapist here. Check your priviilege---it is far easier to maintain sound mental health when you are well resourced and have no genetic predisposition to or family history of mental illness and substance abuse. Many people are not so fortunate.

Some people live in houses with a sturdy foundation and solid materials and they don't need to hire professionals to make major repairs. Other people live in cheaply built homes (genetic predisposition to mental illness/substance abuse) with crumbling foundations (significantly traumatizing developmental years) --and they do everything they can to keep the house standing. We've all hired contractors who suck at their jobs and make our homes worse---that doesn't mean we should never hire a contractor--just that we should be wary of who we hire--and quick to fire an underperforming or sketchy contractor.

I think some people are too quick to take what a random therapist says as gospel--but people also do that with teachers, auto mechanics, physicians, etc.





You can't shop around for quotes from a therapist the way you can from a mechanic. It's not public education and it's usually not covered by insurance. You have to see them so often which means it is not only expensive but also disruptive.

We have spent so much money for therapy for our child. Has it helped her? Yes. But we absolutely have spent thousands on sessions that were not useful, and left scratching our heads at some of the things the therapist neglected to do, that we didn't know to ask for at the time.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 10:04     Subject: Re:Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
Therapist here. Check your priviilege---it is far easier to maintain sound mental health when you are well resourced and have no genetic predisposition to or family history of mental illness and substance abuse. Many people are not so fortunate.

Some people live in houses with a sturdy foundation and solid materials and they don't need to hire professionals to make major repairs. Other people live in cheaply built homes (genetic predisposition to mental illness/substance abuse) with crumbling foundations (significantly traumatizing developmental years) --and they do everything they can to keep the house standing. We've all hired contractors who suck at their jobs and make our homes worse---that doesn't mean we should never hire a contractor--just that we should be wary of who we hire--and quick to fire an underperforming or sketchy contractor.

I think some people are too quick to take what a random therapist says as gospel--but people also do that with teachers, auto mechanics, physicians, etc.



Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 09:58     Subject: Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think self-love is profound selfishness. I also had a therapist decide to DEBATE me about my religious beliefs (Catholicism) because he was one of those supreme atheists. I am extremely wary of ever doing therapy again after that. I just want tools to combat my OCD.


Wow, I wonder why a mental health professional would press you on that specific view.

Good luck with your OCD.


+1. Seriously, you are part of a global child abuse cult and someone tried to challenge that. Wow, how…responsible of them.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 09:54     Subject: Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
Anonymous wrote:I think self-love is profound selfishness. I also had a therapist decide to DEBATE me about my religious beliefs (Catholicism) because he was one of those supreme atheists. I am extremely wary of ever doing therapy again after that. I just want tools to combat my OCD.


Wow, I wonder why a mental health professional would press you on that specific view.

Good luck with your OCD.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 09:53     Subject: Re:Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ve been harmed by therapy. It’s a profession with a lot of quacks, no quality control, and no accountability. And if it goes wrong they always blame the patient.


It was an online therapist during Covid who put the idea into my kid’s head that transgenderism might fix everything. Out of nowhere.

This happened to my son, too. He has OCD, with scrupulosity and gender focused anxiety, all exacerbated by puberty and the pandemic. He wondered aloud if he could be trans and she jumped right on it. Told him it was a big breakthrough, encouraged him to visit numerous gender affirming websites, etc. Interestingly, his anxiety and OCD symptoms increased. It was an elaborate extrication process getting him away from that quack. 1.5 years later, his OCD is well managed and he is 100% certain he is male and is comfortable and happy with that fact.


How did he get to the point where he had OCD with “scrupulously and gender focused anxiety” in the first place? Hmm? Why was he wondering about being trans in the first place? What were you doing or not doing at home that led to that?



DP. Are you kidding me? It seems like half of my teen’s friends have gender focused anxiety (and at least one has OCD as well). This is ridiculously common these days. Has nothing to do with what parents are or aren’t doing at home.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 09:50     Subject: Re:Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ve been harmed by therapy. It’s a profession with a lot of quacks, no quality control, and no accountability. And if it goes wrong they always blame the patient.


It was an online therapist during Covid who put the idea into my kid’s head that transgenderism might fix everything. Out of nowhere.

This happened to my son, too. He has OCD, with scrupulosity and gender focused anxiety, all exacerbated by puberty and the pandemic. He wondered aloud if he could be trans and she jumped right on it. Told him it was a big breakthrough, encouraged him to visit numerous gender affirming websites, etc. Interestingly, his anxiety and OCD symptoms increased. It was an elaborate extrication process getting him away from that quack. 1.5 years later, his OCD is well managed and he is 100% certain he is male and is comfortable and happy with that fact.


How did he get to the point where he had OCD with “scrupulously and gender focused anxiety” in the first place? Hmm? Why was he wondering about being trans in the first place? What were you doing or not doing at home that led to that?
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 09:49     Subject: Re:Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ve been harmed by therapy. It’s a profession with a lot of quacks, no quality control, and no accountability. And if it goes wrong they always blame the patient.


It was an online therapist during Covid who put the idea into my kid’s head that transgenderism might fix everything. Out of nowhere.


Why did your kid need therapy?
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 09:47     Subject: Re:Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ve been harmed by therapy. It’s a profession with a lot of quacks, no quality control, and no accountability. And if it goes wrong they always blame the patient.


It was an online therapist during Covid who put the idea into my kid’s head that transgenderism might fix everything. Out of nowhere.

This happened to my son, too. He has OCD, with scrupulosity and gender focused anxiety, all exacerbated by puberty and the pandemic. He wondered aloud if he could be trans and she jumped right on it. Told him it was a big breakthrough, encouraged him to visit numerous gender affirming websites, etc. Interestingly, his anxiety and OCD symptoms increased. It was an elaborate extrication process getting him away from that quack. 1.5 years later, his OCD is well managed and he is 100% certain he is male and is comfortable and happy with that fact.


You should sue or file a complaint against her. The lack of accountability in the profession is scandalous.

I was just happy to get him away from her. Her group sent me a survey/exit interview type questionnaire and I detailed our experience.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 09:37     Subject: Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
I have seen four different therapists briefly over the last 4 years. None of them have been particularly helpful. Two of them made things worse. One said she used CBT but our sessions were just her asking me how I am doing and acting perplexed as to why I was there (I guess I wasn't in enough of a crisis?).

A long time ago I did a computerized CBT program. A therapist would call me once a week for 5 minutes to ensure I was on track with it. It was very easy to follow and I did it on my own time. Resolved some very debilitating anxiety I was having. I don't know why these types of programs are not often used.

But FTR - the article referenced doesn't seem to be about therapy itself about about the sort of "self-care" and "boundary-setting" discourse that might be coming from actual therapy but also possibly from social media.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 09:36     Subject: Re:Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
Anonymous wrote:I think therapists need to have a little less empathy/validation and a little more practical skills building and critical thought.

Totally agree with this. More than half the time the reason the person is in therapy to begin with is bc they are lacking some basic skills or thought processes needed to thrive. Therapy should be teaching these not validating dysfunction.


Well stated.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 09:29     Subject: Re:Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ve been harmed by therapy. It’s a profession with a lot of quacks, no quality control, and no accountability. And if it goes wrong they always blame the patient.


It was an online therapist during Covid who put the idea into my kid’s head that transgenderism might fix everything. Out of nowhere.

This happened to my son, too. He has OCD, with scrupulosity and gender focused anxiety, all exacerbated by puberty and the pandemic. He wondered aloud if he could be trans and she jumped right on it. Told him it was a big breakthrough, encouraged him to visit numerous gender affirming websites, etc. Interestingly, his anxiety and OCD symptoms increased. It was an elaborate extrication process getting him away from that quack. 1.5 years later, his OCD is well managed and he is 100% certain he is male and is comfortable and happy with that fact.


If he can, it would be great for him to write a thoughtful letter to the therapist telling her how she totally missed the boat on what was happening with him at a difficult time in his life. I think therapists hear a lot from trans kids who were not adequately supported so they’ve over-corrected and now some are over-supporting kids who aren’t actually trans.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 09:29     Subject: Re:Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
Think about it, a therapist can be anyone from a physician who spent undergrad, medical school residency and fellowship and post grad training learning their grade, to a SAHM who did an online degree and hung a shingle, to a LCSW who majored in education and did a light grad program & some clinical time. They all charge over $150/hr and many over $200/hr. Zero accountability and no need to get actual results. It’s lunacy.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2023 09:26     Subject: Re:Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"
I think therapists need to have a little less empathy/validation and a little more practical skills building and critical thought.

Totally agree with this. More than half the time the reason the person is in therapy to begin with is bc they are lacking some basic skills or thought processes needed to thrive. Therapy should be teaching these not validating dysfunction.