Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no. I got a great education @ a CTCL on a mix of merit and FAFSA, worked for a decade on an incredibly exciting international issue, attended an Ivy for grad, and went on to more exciting work. Met a great DH and have wonderful kids. Sadly they are aware that there are plenty of judgy people about where their mother went to college. "Where is that?"

Frankly, I probably would not have had that first part of my career as there were less than a handful of colleges in the US with that opportunity and none with that depth. So, it was great for me and I also know that my kids did not want that kind of "anonymity" for themselves.

^^ and I couldn't live far from home as we just didn't have the resources for that

+1 Same story for me!

Anonymous wrote:Just checked, ranking > 250 here. A regional/state school in a region/state that is smallish. Engineer.

Yes and no. With the right guidance on college searching, I likely could have attended a much better school, perhaps even for a similar price. It may have made my first few jobs better, possibly would have a stronger college network. Who knows? Path not taken. After not too long, I got a job at a top company, got a MS at a top 20 school paid for while working, and have had a really cool career, enough money to be secure and save, and great job, great spouse with sort of similar background. When college comes up professionally (sort of rare), lots of people went to much more highly ranked places than me, but I don't really feel it says much about me. Most of all, I'm really happy with my life. So, I wouldn't change anything. But, I would not advise my kids to take the same path I did.

I do have to fight against my initial aversion to people who seem to have come from obvious wealth, and to not keep a chip on my shoulder from those who went to the top top top schools. I recognize it is a "me" problem there. I likely would be a bit more at ease in those circles if I'd went to university somewhere else.

I went to a top 10 ranked major university on athletic scholarship. It was a poor choice for a very poor student. T!he school's students were wealthy and I quickly realized that a very poor kid from Chicago would be treated as an outcast. So I put athletics first as I had to keep my scholarship and academics second. No social life or social networks. I don't want to paint an unduly bleak picture as certain professors knew the score and my circumstances and really challenged me. Thank goodness the safe spaces silliness was not around as I only learned because I was willing to endure ego damage in an honors program. I had a number of Big 10 offers with schools with a much better choices of majors. And there were kids working through school at these schools so it would have been much easier socially. I ended up doing as well as one possibly could at a top professional school but that was the only path to take from the Gothic Wonderland - it really only prepared you for more (and expensive) school. My lack of maturity and having no parents in my life were an excuse of sorts for my thoughtless choice, but I had intense athletic experiences just as I would have at the Big 10 schools. I did find it difficulty to integrate socially at work for years but despite the delay have done well. The school which treated me well from my recruiting visits? Michigan, Illinois, Wisconsin and Indiana, as well as Maryland and UVa, were great but nowhere was I welcomed like at Iowa. Don't choose a school based on rankings.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I will say that I do. I had an SAT in the high 1300s/1600 and I was at the top of my big podunk high school class (with APs, ECs etc). My parents severely restricted where I was allowed to apply (nothing more than 3 hours away) and hadn’t saved a dime for college, so the $5k/year directional state school I went. Sometimes I read these forums and I’m like, darn, I could’ve realistically attended one of SO MANY different schools that I never thought I was qualified for or could find a way to afford.

Same here. My parents saved zero. I see now I could have applied to schools that provide merit and probably would have received it.

I don’t regret my school at all. I do regret that I jumped around a lot in clubs and that the school didn’t have living learning communities. Because of that I didn’t have consistent friends. Now that I have been on so many college tours, I see that being in a smaller club would have been better for me than working crew on huge theater productions that changed cast and crew.

Just checked, ranking > 250 here. A regional/state school in a region/state that is smallish. Engineer.

Yes and no. With the right guidance on college searching, I likely could have attended a much better school, perhaps even for a similar price. It may have made my first few jobs better, possibly would have a stronger college network. Who knows? Path not taken. After not too long, I got a job at a top company, got a MS at a top 20 school paid for while working, and have had a really cool career, enough money to be secure and save, and great job, great spouse with sort of similar background. When college comes up professionally (sort of rare), lots of people went to much more highly ranked places than me, but I don't really feel it says much about me. Most of all, I'm really happy with my life. So, I wouldn't change anything. But, I would not advise my kids to take the same path I did.

I do have to fight against my initial aversion to people who seem to have come from obvious wealth, and to not keep a chip on my shoulder from those who went to the top top top schools. I recognize it is a "me" problem there. I likely would be a bit more at ease in those circles if I'd went to university somewhere else.

Went to a regional private U, and I guess I partially regret it because I don't live in that region, and law firms can be elitist about school names. Other than that, no. School is well regarded, but in the South, everyone loves Vandy or similar schools, lol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no, and I think if you are over the age of...I don't know, 22...and are still resenting or mourning your college choice, you need to grow up. Or get therapy or something. That's not healthy or normal.

It is not uncommon for one to think about their college experience at any age or at any stage of life. The college years are during years that typically have a significant impact on the rest of one's life.

It's normal to think about your college experience, of course. It's even normal to have occasional, passing thoughts along the lines of "wonder what my life would've ended up like if I did XYZ." But regret? Resentment? (Per the wording in the op.) I maintain that's not healthy.

+1
Even if your college experience was less than perfect, it still landed you where you are today. If you are married and/or have children, you likely would not have met your spouse or had the same life experiences or ended up having the children that you had, had you not attended the college that you did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no, and I think if you are over the age of...I don't know, 22...and are still resenting or mourning your college choice, you need to grow up. Or get therapy or something. That's not healthy or normal.

It is not uncommon for one to think about their college experience at any age or at any stage of life. The college years are during years that typically have a significant impact on the rest of one's life.

It's normal to think about your college experience, of course. It's even normal to have occasional, passing thoughts along the lines of "wonder what my life would've ended up like if I did XYZ." But regret? Resentment? (Per the wording in the op.) I maintain that's not healthy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no. I got a great education @ a CTCL on a mix of merit and FAFSA, worked for a decade on an incredibly exciting international issue, attended an Ivy for grad, and went on to more exciting work. Met a great DH and have wonderful kids. Sadly they are aware that there are plenty of judgy people about where their mother went to college. "Where is that?"

Frankly, I probably would not have had that first part of my career as there were less than a handful of colleges in the US with that opportunity and none with that depth. So, it was great for me and I also know that my kids did not want that kind of "anonymity" for themselves.

Holy crap. Is this real? Your kids get asked this?

I've been in a lot of schools, public and private, and I've never heard anything like that. I went to a small second or third-rate college on the west coast. No one has every said anything about it. Or to my kids. Frankly people don't care that much. So either PP is trolling for fun or has an issue

My kids attend a small private on scholarship and my oldest who is nearing college application age is beginning to get some questions from classmates and their parents about where us parents attended. The kids will talk about where they have visited and if they have legacy and then they will ask my kids, same with the parents. Some of it is pretty normal, typical conversation to make and sometimes you get a weird feeling about why some people care so much and what they think of you based on your answer. Some parents seem genuinely curious and non-judgemental, but you do have a handful of parents who still lament that they "only went to" Duke or Cornell and "want better for their children." Meanwhile I'm over here, happy to be employed by a regional state school so our kids get tuition benefits and sometimes get told that "kids need to go away for college." It's definitely a different culture than I am used to and I was genuinely surprised when the topic of conversation began to crop up because I have never been questioned on that in the office or academia, ever. Still, I'm hoping I've instilled in my children that people are much more than who they were in high school and where they attended college and also not to feel embarrassed on our behalf and likewise to remain non-judgement and happy for others.

Undergrad doesn’t matter.

I think if you are over age 25, and are still thinking about where you went to college, the problem lies within. If you come to DCUM to try to disparage the same college over and over, that might be a tell tale sign that you need to rethink how you live your life.

No because with the exception of the Ivy League, most of the top 15 schools were not highly ranked at the time.

I can do law school. Went to a lower ranked but very reputable law school on a full ride, plus some living expenses over 2 T12s where I was admitted— at full price. I decided then that I wanted a decent work life balance and did not want a very stressful 80 hour week job that would be necessary to pay off student loans. Did well academically, clerked, went to work for the federal government and never looked back. Had 3 days of telework before the pandemic and was at home and done with work when kids got off the bus. Now permanently at 5 days a week. Cannot go over 40 hours a week under my union contract and have an extended flex band. And in the VA burbs with a software engineer spouse, we budget, but we are very UMC.

Meanwhile, I have law school friends taking out PLUS loans for their kids college, because they never saved, because 25 years later, they still haven’t paid off law school loans. Hard pass.

Sometimes, I think it would be an ego boost to drop the name of an Ivy law school. But, not enough to have done what it would take to pay back loans.

People have different priorities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First gen student here, graduated college about 20 years ago. B+/A- HS student, SAT was abysmal (550+ verbal, 450 math). Applied to regional, small schools and ended up at 3rd choice for scholarship reasons. Zero regrets and I remain grateful for the experience to this day. FWIW, I am an attorney. I wouldn't change my ugrad experience for anything.

Sounds like it was a great school! I like opportunities to give love to places like these, so come back and share the school!

Assumption College in Worcester, MA! My younger brother, and both our wives, also went to this school. A hidden gem. Our sister (she's seven years younger so a more "recent" college graduate, ha ha) went to Providence College and had a fantastic 4 years as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no. I got a great education @ a CTCL on a mix of merit and FAFSA, worked for a decade on an incredibly exciting international issue, attended an Ivy for grad, and went on to more exciting work. Met a great DH and have wonderful kids. Sadly they are aware that there are plenty of judgy people about where their mother went to college. "Where is that?"

Frankly, I probably would not have had that first part of my career as there were less than a handful of colleges in the US with that opportunity and none with that depth. So, it was great for me and I also know that my kids did not want that kind of "anonymity" for themselves.

Holy crap. Is this real? Your kids get asked this?

I've been in a lot of schools, public and private, and I've never heard anything like that. I went to a small second or third-rate college on the west coast. No one has every said anything about it. Or to my kids. Frankly people don't care that much. So either PP is trolling for fun or has an issue

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no. I got a great education @ a CTCL on a mix of merit and FAFSA, worked for a decade on an incredibly exciting international issue, attended an Ivy for grad, and went on to more exciting work. Met a great DH and have wonderful kids. Sadly they are aware that there are plenty of judgy people about where their mother went to college. "Where is that?"

Frankly, I probably would not have had that first part of my career as there were less than a handful of colleges in the US with that opportunity and none with that depth. So, it was great for me and I also know that my kids did not want that kind of "anonymity" for themselves.

Holy crap. Is this real? Your kids get asked this?