Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We went away together because my child is very close with one of the kids - not only are they in the same class at school together, but they also do 2 sports together after school so we carpool, and we probably do 1-2 play dates per week beyond that. We also have gone to get pizza/dinner on a Friday night all together a few times, meet up at the playground, etc. We see them at kids’ birthday parties and we have a couple other mutual friends as well. We are much more than acquaintances, we have just never made plans to hang out ourselves without the kids.

Clearly they are much closer with the other family. Or maybe they were just using them for child care so they could have a break. Who knows.

We all stayed in a hotel, but they clearly knew ahead of time the nanny would be watching all of their kids because they made plans - dinner reservations, guys played golf while the moms went to the spa, etc.

It’s all just so strange. Maybe they just wanted us there so their kid had a friend.

They are breathtakingly rude and I would be very cool to them going forward.

+1. I'm having a hard time putting into words how awful I think they are. I would remove them from my social circle entirely to be honest.

I had an experience sort of like this and there was an affair between two of the members of the foursome I found out years later.

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We went away together because my child is very close with one of the kids - not only are they in the same class at school together, but they also do 2 sports together after school so we carpool, and we probably do 1-2 play dates per week beyond that. We also have gone to get pizza/dinner on a Friday night all together a few times, meet up at the playground, etc. We see them at kids’ birthday parties and we have a couple other mutual friends as well. We are much more than acquaintances, we have just never made plans to hang out ourselves without the kids.

Clearly they are much closer with the other family. Or maybe they were just using them for child care so they could have a break. Who knows.

We all stayed in a hotel, but they clearly knew ahead of time the nanny would be watching all of their kids because they made plans - dinner reservations, guys played golf while the moms went to the spa, etc.

It’s all just so strange. Maybe they just wanted us there so their kid had a friend.

They are breathtakingly rude and I would be very cool to them going forward.

Anonymous wrote:bizarre. bazaar is a type of street market typically seen in the middle east.

And if you were a contestant on a trivia show that little tidbit might matter.

bizarre. bazaar is a type of street market typically seen in the middle east.

This is OP. We went away together because my child is very close with one of the kids - not only are they in the same class at school together, but they also do 2 sports together after school so we carpool, and we probably do 1-2 play dates per week beyond that. We also have gone to get pizza/dinner on a Friday night all together a few times, meet up at the playground, etc. We see them at kids’ birthday parties and we have a couple other mutual friends as well. We are much more than acquaintances, we have just never made plans to hang out ourselves without the kids.

Clearly they are much closer with the other family. Or maybe they were just using them for child care so they could have a break. Who knows.

We all stayed in a hotel, but they clearly knew ahead of time the nanny would be watching all of their kids because they made plans - dinner reservations, guys played golf while the moms went to the spa, etc.

It’s all just so strange. Maybe they just wanted us there so their kid had a friend.

Extremely rude.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the nanny of that third family said heck no to watching ALL those kids. With OP’s kids that would have meant at least six kids for the nanny? Still really rude of them to secret off together, though.

There is likely an element of this but totally think that the family who invited everyone should have made an effort to find kid friendly activities for all at least two of the days. So rude that they did not.

Have a feeling the nanny family is a queen bee type.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the nanny of that third family said heck no to watching ALL those kids. With OP’s kids that would have meant at least six kids for the nanny? Still really rude of them to secret off together, though.

Maybe - but depending on the ages, the nanny could have been willing if they're already doing it for a specified number of hours (for an adult outing, etc.) - for a fee.

It's weird that the nanny couple didn't even offer. It's even weirder that the known couple just left OPs family. Just very rude and clueless tbh.

I wonder if the nanny of that third family said heck no to watching ALL those kids. With OP’s kids that would have meant at least six kids for the nanny? Still really rude of them to secret off together, though.

Anonymous wrote:
I would never, ever, plan a trip with people who were not very close relatives or very dear friends. And even then, I'd make sure we had plenty of time to distance from each other.

These people are a little socially unaware. At least now you know that.

Not OP, and I get what you're saying - to an extent, but how does one make "better" friends if not by spending more time with them. There has to be a "first" trip together right? This conceivably could have been the first trip of many and become "dear" friends.

That's how me and my best friend got to be best friends. We met, hung out locally a lot and then went to the beach together. We've now been friends for 30 years. But it took me going on a first trip etc to get that bond going.

Anonymous wrote:Op, why won’t you answer why you make the choice to go with them?

NP. This type of question is really incredibly unhelpful and very much victim blaming. It's like the posters who say "well why did you marry him/her then?" when posting about a relationship issue.

I'm not OP but she clearly laid it out - they were getting to be better "friends" through their kids, spent time with them, was invited and accepted. It's not really rocket science to think that she was getting to know them better, liked them, and wanted to know them even better and thought it would be fun.

Like "why did you marry them" posters - we don't get time travel, we make decisions based on the facts at the time of decision and unfortunately this trip didn't turn out as OP envisioned - or frankly how it was marketed to her from her "friends". I'm in the bizarre and rude camp. I wouldn't stop the kids from hanging out but I would pull back on spending adult time with the couple(s).

OP - at worst they are rude snops, at best they are just clueless. Either way, you know how to operate moving forward.

I would never, ever, plan a trip with people who were not very close relatives or very dear friends. And even then, I'd make sure we had plenty of time to distance from each other.

These people are a little socially unaware. At least now you know that.

Very bizarre. Did you guys stay at the same place as them?

Would definitely not linger when kids are hanging out, but keep up the kids friendship.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the 2 families are good friends and regarded you as more of an acquaintance? It’s weird and rude and not something I would pull but now you know where you stand.

+1. They’re better friends. It was not polite. Like PP wrote- at least you know where you stand. Move on and let the kids remain friends.