Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 18:29     Subject: Double barrel last name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It has nothing to do with status. It has to do with ensuring our kids have a last name that represents both parts of their identity (in our case, Asian and Jewish). I am the PP who says it’s not a burden or a problem (I’m the one who fills out the forms, and most forms aren’t on paper with boxes anymore). My kids have friends with hyphenated names, so they don’t think it’s strange and actually think it would be strange to just go by one of the names.
When they are adults, they can do whatever they want with their names, which is what they can do with a single last name - drop it and take their spouse’s name, drop one name, come up with a new name- whatever.
I find it so strange that people are invested in being against hyphenated names! Don’t like it, don’t do it.


So when they marry someone who isn’t Jewish or Asian, what would you have them do for their kids? Because obviously their last name needs to represent every piece of their identity or else they may forget!


Says the generic white person who doesn’t know what she’s talking about….
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 17:17     Subject: Double barrel last name
Anonymous wrote:It has nothing to do with status. It has to do with ensuring our kids have a last name that represents both parts of their identity (in our case, Asian and Jewish). I am the PP who says it’s not a burden or a problem (I’m the one who fills out the forms, and most forms aren’t on paper with boxes anymore). My kids have friends with hyphenated names, so they don’t think it’s strange and actually think it would be strange to just go by one of the names.
When they are adults, they can do whatever they want with their names, which is what they can do with a single last name - drop it and take their spouse’s name, drop one name, come up with a new name- whatever.
I find it so strange that people are invested in being against hyphenated names! Don’t like it, don’t do it.


So when they marry someone who isn’t Jewish or Asian, what would you have them do for their kids? Because obviously their last name needs to represent every piece of their identity or else they may forget!
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 17:10     Subject: Double barrel last name
Anonymous wrote:Double/hyphenated last names are SO egocentric and selfish. They can only last maximum one generation. Think about the rational implications - if everyone is as selfish as you and gives their kids two last names, then when those kids get married they now have a FOUR LAST NAME string of crap after their name. Then it becomes EIGHT. What is wrong with people


In the UK they became very popular with the middle and lower classes (trying to imitate posh people with compound surnames) and then people started associating them with try-hard striver types, so they lost their lustre. A few very old double surnames persist through the generations, but people do not recompound them or break them up and pick some from column A and some from Column B. They stay fully intact. The compound names that arise in the US have no history and don't project poshness.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 15:37     Subject: Double barrel last name
We hyphenated our kid’s last name and I think it makes it easier, since her name includes both mine and my husband’s (neither of us changed names upon marriage). It’s a total of 5 syllables combined, so not too cumbersome. So there’s no confusion in travel, doctor’s appointments, camps, etc. about whether I’m related to her, which would have happened if we had given her my husband’s name since there would be no overlap then.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 15:18     Subject: Double barrel last name
Double/hyphenated last names are SO egocentric and selfish. They can only last maximum one generation. Think about the rational implications - if everyone is as selfish as you and gives their kids two last names, then when those kids get married they now have a FOUR LAST NAME string of crap after their name. Then it becomes EIGHT. What is wrong with people
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 15:03     Subject: Double barrel last name
Just use one. Your kid will only use one eventually. Make the other name the middle name.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 14:54     Subject: Double barrel last name
Whatever you do, don't pile on more headaches with a kreeatyvlee misspelled first name to boot. Loosyndah Jones and Lucinda Jones-Jingleheimer will both experience a lot of paperwork errors over the years, but nothing compared to Loosyndah Jones-Jingleheimer.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 14:40     Subject: Double barrel last name
Anonymous wrote:Serious question- would you want to go through life with that last name? Every time you say or write your name you have to do both?

Just put yours as a middle name.


This.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 14:01     Subject: Double barrel last name
It has nothing to do with status. It has to do with ensuring our kids have a last name that represents both parts of their identity (in our case, Asian and Jewish). I am the PP who says it’s not a burden or a problem (I’m the one who fills out the forms, and most forms aren’t on paper with boxes anymore). My kids have friends with hyphenated names, so they don’t think it’s strange and actually think it would be strange to just go by one of the names.
When they are adults, they can do whatever they want with their names, which is what they can do with a single last name - drop it and take their spouse’s name, drop one name, come up with a new name- whatever.
I find it so strange that people are invested in being against hyphenated names! Don’t like it, don’t do it.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 13:34     Subject: Double barrel last name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People that consider doing this to their child, do you ever try and play it out in your head? So your child grows off with a hyphenated super long name and then marries someone else with a hyphenated super long name. Are they then going to have two very long hyphenated names as their new married last name? And then comes the next generation… I'm sorry, but this obsession with hyphenated names is absurdly self-centered.


In theory they pick a name from each side to continue the two-name tradition. In reality they pick just one last name because they have enough combined experience to understand how the little annoyances of double barrelled names add up.

Double barrelled last names are not the status symbol they used to be. Just look at all the actual high-status people who stick with one and give their kids only one.


Before the Internet, a hyphenated name is how high-status people signaled that their status came from both sides of the family. Now it's much easier to look up the lineage of a high-status person. Heck, they don't need any last names now.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 13:24     Subject: Double barrel last name
Anonymous wrote:People that consider doing this to their child, do you ever try and play it out in your head? So your child grows off with a hyphenated super long name and then marries someone else with a hyphenated super long name. Are they then going to have two very long hyphenated names as their new married last name? And then comes the next generation… I'm sorry, but this obsession with hyphenated names is absurdly self-centered.


In theory they pick a name from each side to continue the two-name tradition. In reality they pick just one last name because they have enough combined experience to understand how the little annoyances of double barrelled names add up.

Double barrelled last names are not the status symbol they used to be. Just look at all the actual high-status people who stick with one and give their kids only one.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 12:33     Subject: Double barrel last name
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People that consider doing this to their child, do you ever try and play it out in your head? So your child grows off with a hyphenated super long name and then marries someone else with a hyphenated super long name. Are they then going to have two very long hyphenated names as their new married last name? And then comes the next generation… I'm sorry, but this obsession with hyphenated names is absurdly self-centered.


Yea, at some point isn't someone in the lineage going to have to make compromises and drop out anyway?
Might as well do that before burdening kids with long hyphenated names.


That’s always my thought, although I like to think about great grand kids with 8 last names
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 12:18     Subject: Double barrel last name
Just give your kid an easy name. I have a double name and even that has been a lifelong PITA. At this point half the people I meet just call me by my first name because I don't bother to correct them. Also caused problems when i got married and wanted to take my husband's name but didnt want 4 names.

My kids have names with one spelling, one pronunciation, and one last name. Same middle name for both--my maiden name.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 08:19     Subject: Double barrel last name
Anonymous wrote:People that consider doing this to their child, do you ever try and play it out in your head? So your child grows off with a hyphenated super long name and then marries someone else with a hyphenated super long name. Are they then going to have two very long hyphenated names as their new married last name? And then comes the next generation… I'm sorry, but this obsession with hyphenated names is absurdly self-centered.


Yea, at some point isn't someone in the lineage going to have to make compromises and drop out anyway?
Might as well do that before burdening kids with long hyphenated names.
Anonymous
Post 04/12/2023 08:09     Subject: Double barrel last name
People that consider doing this to their child, do you ever try and play it out in your head? So your child grows off with a hyphenated super long name and then marries someone else with a hyphenated super long name. Are they then going to have two very long hyphenated names as their new married last name? And then comes the next generation… I'm sorry, but this obsession with hyphenated names is absurdly self-centered.