Anonymous
Post 04/11/2023 08:12     Subject: is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
Well, I just people who don’t say “no gifts.” Other people judge people who say “no gifts.” So I think you have to pick what you want to be judged for — asking people not to bring a gift or asking people to bring a gift.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2023 08:10     Subject: is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No. It’s actually rude to mention gifts on an invitation.


Please stop repeating this. Manners and social norms evolve.

Op, it totally depends on your crowd. In our neighborhood group where all the kids and siblings go to each other's parties, there are just two families out of about 20 who didn't write "no gifts" on their invitations over the last few years. I don't think that was rude, but because it was outside the norm there was a little grumbling among parents at drop off about how they had to do a last minute gift run because they didn't notice that earlier that the invitation was missing the "no gifts" line.

Officially the grumblers were the rude ones, of course, but nonetheless it happened and tbh it was annoying to have to make a trip to get gifts when it wasn't the norm.

One of the two families made a big deal about how they would donate some of the gifts which was also a little weird, but that's another story.


It’s still rude to say anything about gifts on the invitation. Thanks for the rant though.


No, it’s no longer rude to say “no gifts” on an invitation. That’s a old rule that doesn’t apply anymore.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2023 08:10     Subject: is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
It is not rude to not have a no gift birthday. That would be bizarre and anybody who judges or thinks it’s rude, it’s a little wacky in the head.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2023 08:09     Subject: is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
In my circle, it’s rude to have a party that isn’t “no gifts.” I think it depends on the group of kids and group of friends.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2023 05:43     Subject: is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
I don’t think it’s “rude” to ask for presents, but I do wonder why parents want more junk from Amazon.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2023 03:50     Subject: is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No. It’s actually rude to mention gifts on an invitation.


Please stop repeating this. Manners and social norms evolve.

Op, it totally depends on your crowd. In our neighborhood group where all the kids and siblings go to each other's parties, there are just two families out of about 20 who didn't write "no gifts" on their invitations over the last few years. I don't think that was rude, but because it was outside the norm there was a little grumbling among parents at drop off about how they had to do a last minute gift run because they didn't notice that earlier that the invitation was missing the "no gifts" line.

Officially the grumblers were the rude ones, of course, but nonetheless it happened and tbh it was annoying to have to make a trip to get gifts when it wasn't the norm.

One of the two families made a big deal about how they would donate some of the gifts which was also a little weird, but that's another story.


It’s still rude to say anything about gifts on the invitation. Thanks for the rant though.
Anonymous
Post 04/11/2023 02:54     Subject: is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
Anonymous wrote:Presents on birthdays are an important part of our culture. Don't give in to the people who are trying to break every single tradition we have. Next we'll be asked to forgo cake and ice cream.

Be strong, people! Give presents to children at birthday parties!!!


People are remarkably shortsighted when it comes to tradition. When I was a kid, it was traditional for the birthday kid to open all the gits at the party, but I don't think anyone wants to go back to that. And why? Because people have come to the recognition that the kids would rather spend the time playing and that the gift giving isn't as important as it used to be. Be strong! Have a no gift party if you wish!
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2023 23:17     Subject: is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
Anonymous wrote:Presents on birthdays are an important part of our culture. Don't give in to the people who are trying to break every single tradition we have. Next we'll be asked to forgo cake and ice cream.

Be strong, people! Give presents to children at birthday parties!!!


This. What kid doesn’t like to get presents for their birthday. We can afford to buy what my kid wants but I’m not going to deprive him the joy of getting and opening presents on his birthday after the party.

Anonymous
Post 04/10/2023 20:15     Subject: Re:is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
If you have a real party with a venue, entertainment, food, etc. then absolutely fine. If you just book a playground pavilion for the whole grade and provide popsicles, chips and cake then mayyybe cool it on the presents.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2023 20:12     Subject: is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s “rude” but be prepared for some kids to not come who you may want to be there if they need to bring a gift. If you say no gifts then it’s much easier (and cheaper) for people and you will have a better response. Personally I’d only go to a gift party if it’s one of my kids very best friends. Otherwise just not worth the stress.


Cheaper yes but "much easier"?? How hard is it to order a gift on Amazon?
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2023 20:10     Subject: Re:is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
Anonymous wrote:Stuff like this is what makes parenting exhausting.

We didn't do "no gifts" at my DD's 5th birthday last year, for the first time. The reason was that she was really, really excited about getting gifts from friends, and also had been to several gift parties at that point. We are not better off than our friends. So we just said nothing, some people brought gifts. It was fine.

I did decide not to have her open gifts at the party. I think it's too hard on the kids. Watching another child open a bunch of presents is painful for them, plus if anyone doesn't bring a gift, it highlights this when it really should not matter.

I hate kids birthday parties. They shouldn't be so stressful but they are, and crap like this is why. Good luck.


Agree they shouldn't open presents in front of others. I have been to any kid parties where they did that. It is boring for the other kids and awkward that ppl spend different amounts.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2023 20:04     Subject: is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s “rude” but be prepared for some kids to not come who you may want to be there if they need to bring a gift. If you say no gifts then it’s much easier (and cheaper) for people and you will have a better response. Personally I’d only go to a gift party if it’s one of my kids very best friends. Otherwise just not worth the stress.


Anonymous
Post 04/10/2023 20:03     Subject: Re:is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
Stuff like this is what makes parenting exhausting.

We didn't do "no gifts" at my DD's 5th birthday last year, for the first time. The reason was that she was really, really excited about getting gifts from friends, and also had been to several gift parties at that point. We are not better off than our friends. So we just said nothing, some people brought gifts. It was fine.

I did decide not to have her open gifts at the party. I think it's too hard on the kids. Watching another child open a bunch of presents is painful for them, plus if anyone doesn't bring a gift, it highlights this when it really should not matter.

I hate kids birthday parties. They shouldn't be so stressful but they are, and crap like this is why. Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2023 20:03     Subject: is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No. It’s actually rude to mention gifts on an invitation.


Please stop repeating this. Manners and social norms evolve.

Op, it totally depends on your crowd. In our neighborhood group where all the kids and siblings go to each other's parties, there are just two families out of about 20 who didn't write "no gifts" on their invitations over the last few years. I don't think that was rude, but because it was outside the norm there was a little grumbling among parents at drop off about how they had to do a last minute gift run because they didn't notice that earlier that the invitation was missing the "no gifts" line.

Officially the grumblers were the rude ones, of course, but nonetheless it happened and tbh it was annoying to have to make a trip to get gifts when it wasn't the norm.

One of the two families made a big deal about how they would donate some of the gifts which was also a little weird, but that's another story.


You are ruining life. You squash joy like a kid squashes bugs under their sneakers. Grumbling about having to go out to buy a child a gift on their birthday. Gross.


If only there were a large corporation named after a river that could deliver any of thousands of gift choices to their doorstep in 24 hours to assist those poor, poor, put-upon parents of party invitees.
Anonymous
Post 04/10/2023 20:00     Subject: is it kind of rude to NOT say no presents at a bday?
Anonymous wrote:We just follow what’s written on the invitation. If it says no gifts we just bring a card. Otherwise we bring something. I don’t judge what the parents want to do.


This is exactly how we handle it. It isn’t hard.