Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dd is 11 and overweight. We never eat fast food. No potato chips. No sodas. But every two hours she says she’s hungry and we don’t want to restrict food. I just decided to put all the control in her hands. I tell her what I recommend she eat (a banana with peanut butter as a snack, or apple and cheese) and she decides whether to eat it or something else. I’m hoping it helps her feel more in control and therefore eat less.

Seriously? You are a parent and you put all the control in the 11-year-old hands. Why is it all or nothing? Why can't you cook healthy food and stop with peanut butter, and cheese, and cook her a stew? Nobody got overweight from eating three homemade meals per day.

As stated elsewhere in this thread, it is impossible to micromanage food and portions in an older child. While you can cook meals at home, do you tell them no seconds? Between school, holidays, birthday parties, family parties, play dates, relatives.. it is a constant stream of processed food, juice, soda, being offered to kids. Do you follow your 11 yr old around at every social gathering telling them they can’t have that or they have had enough? Some kids eat a lot and have a bigger drive to over consume. I’ve noticed kids at birthday parties that will eat a couple bites of pizza and cake and then run off. Then there are some kids that eat all their piece and cake, ask for more and are licking the crumbs

The pediatrician's advise sounds a little extreme unless he confirmed your DD's diet is based on processed foods and sweets (and it doesn't sound like it is). People talk about how much teen boys eat sometimes, but the biggest eater in my house was my daughter during the tween years (I was the same at that age). It all leveled out by 8th grade or so.

Do you have kids? They're not mini-adults, they're supposed to be smaller. Kids don't attain their adult weight until they're adults - or at least, they aren't supposed to.

The idea that every kid has to have a scrawny beanpole stage is simply not true. Lots of kids get a bit chunky before a major growth spurt. Some kids are never skinny at all but still end up a normal, healthy weight.

I'm the same height and weight in middle age that I was at age 12 (5'4 and around 115-120 pounds - I was maybe an inch shorter back then). Maybe I wasn't "supposed" to weigh so much, but I did and it didn't really cause any problems. My DD and DS were the same. We're all pretty solidly built and never had a skinny phase.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dd is 11 and overweight. We never eat fast food. No potato chips. No sodas. But every two hours she says she’s hungry and we don’t want to restrict food. I just decided to put all the control in her hands. I tell her what I recommend she eat (a banana with peanut butter as a snack, or apple and cheese) and she decides whether to eat it or something else. I’m hoping it helps her feel more in control and therefore eat less.

Seriously? You are a parent and you put all the control in the 11-year-old hands. Why is it all or nothing? Why can't you cook healthy food and stop with peanut butter, and cheese, and cook her a stew? Nobody got overweight from eating three homemade meals per day.

You think a kid is overweight from snacking on an apple and cheese? Seriously?

Possibly. But more likely the child is choosing that and something else or just something else.

Knowing my own weakness, I would warn against any salted nuts or flavoring. You want raw almonds or walnuts which aren’t as easy to overeat as salted cashews.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dd is 11 and overweight. We never eat fast food. No potato chips. No sodas. But every two hours she says she’s hungry and we don’t want to restrict food. I just decided to put all the control in her hands. I tell her what I recommend she eat (a banana with peanut butter as a snack, or apple and cheese) and she decides whether to eat it or something else. I’m hoping it helps her feel more in control and therefore eat less.

Seriously? You are a parent and you put all the control in the 11-year-old hands. Why is it all or nothing? Why can't you cook healthy food and stop with peanut butter, and cheese, and cook her a stew? Nobody got overweight from eating three homemade meals per day.

You think a kid is overweight from snacking on an apple and cheese? Seriously?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dd is 11 and overweight. We never eat fast food. No potato chips. No sodas. But every two hours she says she’s hungry and we don’t want to restrict food. I just decided to put all the control in her hands. I tell her what I recommend she eat (a banana with peanut butter as a snack, or apple and cheese) and she decides whether to eat it or something else. I’m hoping it helps her feel more in control and therefore eat less.

Seriously? You are a parent and you put all the control in the 11-year-old hands. Why is it all or nothing? Why can't you cook healthy food and stop with peanut butter, and cheese, and cook her a stew? Nobody got overweight from eating three homemade meals per day.

When did I say we didn’t cook healthy foods? Of course we do. And that’s lunch and dinner, and I let her decide how much of it to eat. It’s awesome if your kid never snacks but mine does. That’s where her choices come in.

Op, my daughter is the same age, height and weight as your DD. She swims 3-6 days per week year round (club swim, so we’re talking about 2000 yards per practice) and eats healthier than most adults I know. She was born in the 99th percentile for height and weight and that’s where she remains. Her pediatrician is not concerned at all. Some kids are just built that way. My DH was like that and both his parents were like that. They are all now super tall (DH is 6’3”) and a very normal, healthy weight. At some point, they shot straight up and all that weight shifted. If someone ever told my DD she was overweight to her face…we would have words.

Anonymous wrote:My Dd is 11 and overweight. We never eat fast food. No potato chips. No sodas. But every two hours she says she’s hungry and we don’t want to restrict food. I just decided to put all the control in her hands. I tell her what I recommend she eat (a banana with peanut butter as a snack, or apple and cheese) and she decides whether to eat it or something else. I’m hoping it helps her feel more in control and therefore eat less.

Seriously? You are a parent and you put all the control in the 11-year-old hands. Why is it all or nothing? Why can't you cook healthy food and stop with peanut butter, and cheese, and cook her a stew? Nobody got overweight from eating three homemade meals per day.

My Dd is 11 and overweight. We never eat fast food. No potato chips. No sodas. But every two hours she says she’s hungry and we don’t want to restrict food. I just decided to put all the control in her hands. I tell her what I recommend she eat (a banana with peanut butter as a snack, or apple and cheese) and she decides whether to eat it or something else. I’m hoping it helps her feel more in control and therefore eat less.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Removing processed foods and keeping dessert for special occasions is very normal. It’s not extreme.

+1. There is no reason for anyone to eat processed food or dessert every day. You shouldn’t normalize that to your 10 yr old.

+2

I have an almost 11yo DD who has always been heavy. At her 9yo check up the doc was concerned but talked to her about it in front of me, smaller desserts, more veggies, and limited juice. I was giving her one of those green Naked juices with breakfast every morning thinking they were healthy. Doc said they have ways too much sugar. We made dessert smaller ( it’s still daily) limit juice, and increased protein and veggies more. She still snacks and has junk sometimes but she also swims now twice a week, does soccer 3x a week and walks the dog etc. she is pretty muscular now and I think looks good. At home we talk in terms of being heathy, good choices etc.

If she's already eating sweets and processed foods at friends houses, then she doesn't also need it at home. We have dessert Strawberries with shredded coconut is a huge hit here.

Anonymous wrote:Removing processed foods and keeping dessert for special occasions is very normal. It’s not extreme.

+1. There is no reason for anyone to eat processed food or dessert every day. You shouldn’t normalize that to your 10 yr old.

Anonymous wrote:Just remove junk from your house and don’t worry about friends/school.

Ok, but that turns onto a lot of junk several times per week if not daily. Between school lunch, school parties, teacher “prizes”, birthday parties, weekend socializing/get togethers, grandmas house. It is impossible to minimize junk. It is everywhere. The only way to counteract it is to stress moderation and give reminders. But ultimately what your child eats and how much is largely out of your control.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t remove anything from her diet just yet but instead try to add. Lots if fresh fruit, veggies, filling protein etc. Fill her up on nutritious foods. Encourage exercise.

yes, encourage peanut butter with apples. or nuts.

This. Focus on adding vegetables and protein to meals and snacks. You can't control what she eats at school and at friends houses but she'll probably make better choices if she is not starving. And encourage drinking lots more water. These are habits that will help her throughout life. Even as an adult I'm finding new ways to incorporate vegetables and really love roasted veggies with pizza seasoning, sauce and some cheese and arugula salads with shaved Parmesan. It really took me making a huge effort trying new recipes and looking for new ways to incorporate vegetables to find things I like. I also snack on plain Greek yogurt with chia seeds, berries, a drizzle of honey and a tbsp of chocolate chips. Just find ways to identify healthy foods that she enjoys and incorporate more of that at home.