Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My second grader invited all the kids in her class to her birthday party. We’re having it at a party venue and there’s enough room for all the kids, DH and myself, my parents, and two of my good friends whose kids are in DD’s class. A mom I don’t know texted me today asking if she could come to the party as well because her son is anxious and it would be easier for him if she were there. I’m a little annoyed because I was looking forward to this time to catch up with my two friends and my parents, and now we’ll have a random mom there as well. It’s going to feel a little more crowded. I asked DD about this boy and she said she doesn’t know him that well because he is quiet and doesn’t talk much. Can I just tell the mom sorry, it’s a drop off party or so I need to let her come too?

Learn to say "no"! If her kid is that anxious then it's better for him not to attend

If OP is that ungracious of a host it’s best she refrain from planning parties.

I have a child with severe anxiety and could not have dropped off in 2nd grade. Be gracious.

Anonymous wrote:Be gracious. I hosted a kids party and one of the moms stayed because her DS had a lot of different allergies (vanilla, citrus fruit, nuts) and wanted to provide an epi pen, just in case.

With that many allergies she should not even attend.

That's normal for second grade, OP. You should expect it. You're very selfish to think it would just be you and your clique.

My kids are teens now, but I remember that having parents I did not know at the party did not prevent me from catching up with friends - indeed, I just included the other parents in the conversation, and treated them as friends. Isn't this what a party is all about: making NEW friends and including them?

Seriously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My second grader invited all the kids in her class to her birthday party. We’re having it at a party venue and there’s enough room for all the kids, DH and myself, my parents, and two of my good friends whose kids are in DD’s class. A mom I don’t know texted me today asking if she could come to the party as well because her son is anxious and it would be easier for him if she were there. I’m a little annoyed because I was looking forward to this time to catch up with my two friends and my parents, and now we’ll have a random mom there as well. It’s going to feel a little more crowded. I asked DD about this boy and she said she doesn’t know him that well because he is quiet and doesn’t talk much. Can I just tell the mom sorry, it’s a drop off party or so I need to let her come too?

Learn to say "no"! If her kid is that anxious then it's better for him not to attend

She is allowing two of the children in the class’ moms to come but would be saying no to this mom simply because she isn’t friends with her and wants to catch up to these other moms who are her friends. No. Absolutely not ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My second grader invited all the kids in her class to her birthday party. We’re having it at a party venue and there’s enough room for all the kids, DH and myself, my parents, and two of my good friends whose kids are in DD’s class. A mom I don’t know texted me today asking if she could come to the party as well because her son is anxious and it would be easier for him if she were there. I’m a little annoyed because I was looking forward to this time to catch up with my two friends and my parents, and now we’ll have a random mom there as well. It’s going to feel a little more crowded. I asked DD about this boy and she said she doesn’t know him that well because he is quiet and doesn’t talk much. Can I just tell the mom sorry, it’s a drop off party or so I need to let her come too?

Learn to say "no"! If her kid is that anxious then it's better for him not to attend

How extremely unkind.

Also, if space is truly that tight why not invite your parents to celebrate separately with your kid. Do you really think they’ll enjoy being crammed into a loud and crowded party venue with 20 second graders and a handful of cliquey moms?

Anonymous wrote:My second grader invited all the kids in her class to her birthday party. We’re having it at a party venue and there’s enough room for all the kids, DH and myself, my parents, and two of my good friends whose kids are in DD’s class. A mom I don’t know texted me today asking if she could come to the party as well because her son is anxious and it would be easier for him if she were there. I’m a little annoyed because I was looking forward to this time to catch up with my two friends and my parents, and now we’ll have a random mom there as well. It’s going to feel a little more crowded. I asked DD about this boy and she said she doesn’t know him that well because he is quiet and doesn’t talk much. Can I just tell the mom sorry, it’s a drop off party or so I need to let her come too?

Learn to say "no"! If her kid is that anxious then it's better for him not to attend

What would you do op if the mom does still convince her anxious kid to go and when she arrives to drop him off there are two other parents from the class there staying? OF COURSE is truly the only appropriate answer here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re actually going to have 10 or so parents hanging around. Just FYI so you can mentally prepare. Haven’t you ever taken your kid to one of these parties?

This. As soon as some parents see others are staying they may stay too.

+1
And it won't occur to them that they need to ask if they can stay in a public venue.

Even though you haven’t planned it, I’d say several parents will hang out. Often driving home and coming back takes the entire length of the party.

I would assume that a number of parents might similarly be planning to stick around at that age and am confused why she even felt the need to ask permission to do so or why you would view your child’s birthday party as an opportunity for you to exclusively catch up with your friends. Did you explicitly say something indicating that parents weren’t welcome? (if so that’s pretty weird and cringeworthy -and if not there are probably other parents just planning to stick around who you will have to either accept or awkwardly try to kick out in the moment). I have never heard of adults being counted against the total guest list for a kids birthday venue. If you somehow chose a place with this regulation then you should have planned for one adult per child and adapted your guest list accordingly. Second grade is too young to assume/demand all parents will just drop off their kids- especially at a public place when they don’t know the inviting family well.

Anonymous wrote:You’re actually going to have 10 or so parents hanging around. Just FYI so you can mentally prepare. Haven’t you ever taken your kid to one of these parties?

This. As soon as some parents see others are staying they may stay too.

You’re actually going to have 10 or so parents hanging around. Just FYI so you can mentally prepare. Haven’t you ever taken your kid to one of these parties?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes tell her you can’t accommodate her as the venue has a strict count. She can choose to drop off her child or not bro if him at all. I would be miffed too. Does she stay at school with him too? Ridiculous

Wow. Now I know where the mean kids get it from. Is having to talk to someone other than your bestie so awful that a child should be excluded from the party?

These boards always make me understand where the kids being exclusionary at school learn it. I’m always shocked at these responses honestly.