Anonymous
Post 03/30/2023 13:57     Subject: Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
My 18 year old is in college.
Anonymous
Post 03/29/2023 23:47     Subject: Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
Folks, today’s marijuana is much higher in THC than we used back in the day. One vape = 20 cigarettes plus toxins. Don’t be sanguine about vaping and pot. It’s unhealthy, addictive, and dangerous.
Apples
Post 03/29/2023 21:21     Subject: Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
Anonymous wrote:This friend group probably has a lot less social pressures and don't trigger his anxiety. He doen't have the same comparisons, they accept him as he is, and their social outings are probably just relaxing at someone's house getting high and not needing to talk much or be anyone or live up to anyone's expectations. The pot may also be self medicating his anxiety and so there is a double reward = where he has friends and feels accepted and also has less anxiety and feels chill




That sounds right. My son, huge social anxiety uses weed to get through it sometimes. Have you met his new friends? If he’s kind of secretive maybe he’s worried you’re judgmental and won’t accept them? The way you thought it was important to mention that you’re in a higher financial class was odd.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2023 23:21     Subject: Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
This is going to sound strange, but I think there is a good chance that your son is gay.

At 18 knowing where he is isn’t a battle worth having. That he isn’t drinking and diving (or smoking and driving) and that he is a safe are reasonable. Where exactly he is going is not.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2023 14:46     Subject: Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
Most of the time I didn’t, since my kid went to college at 17. But when DC (now 19) is home, the requirement to be able to use my car, get tuition paid, etc. is that I know roughly where the kid is going, with whom, and when. It’s not about granting permission; DC is an adult and can do as they please, but common courtesy is expected. It’s worked so far.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2023 12:41     Subject: Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a junkie


Since there are 6th graders at my kid’s middle school vaping and smoking weed, I am going to think an 18yr old doing it some, getting straight A’s, and is college bound, is not a junkie
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2023 20:15     Subject: Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
He sounds like a junkie
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2023 19:16     Subject: Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
Have you talked to him about the weed usage? Start there.

Do you pay for the phone and car? Find My Phone needs to be on, period.

Yes, he is 18 but you pay for everything and are his parent. Eighteen is not a magic number that means kids don't need parenting. We just need to adapt to their needs and age.

You can do all this with love, respect, and good intentions. Don't judge him or his friends. It's hard, I know.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2023 19:08     Subject: Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s all fun and games until your kid gets busted for underage drinking at a house party.


This doesn’t happen.


Yes it does. It literally happened to upwards of 50 teens in MoCo last night. House party with 100+ 15/16/17 year olds. Some kids ran and weren’t caught while others were blocked in police at the front and back doors. Kids had to use a breathalyzer, call their parents to be picked up, and were issued citations. Next step: notification by Juvenile Services for a hearing.

Obviously parents had no clue about this until they got the call.


Interesting. I was told on a previous thread that nothing ever happens in MoCo to underage drinkers.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2023 12:50     Subject: Re:Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
My two oldest kids were off at college across the country at 17, so no, I had no idea where they were at night at 18. They both had Uber and were strongly encouraged to never get into a car with anyone under the influence and to leave anywhere they didn't feel safe or comfortable. My son got a Lyft account of his own volition and shared it with his sister (apparently sometimes one rideshare was less expensive than the other).
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2023 06:10     Subject: Re:Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
Anonymous wrote:
He will be off to college and away in 4 months. I’m going to go against everyone and say stop the location sharing and tracking, unless all of you agree to this. I think it’s creepy to track college aged young adults, like some parents do.

My kids are little younger but teens. So far, they aren’t out all night. I plan on treating them the same way my parents treated me. Common respect for the people you like with. I need to know an approximate time they will be home, and to let me know if they are staying at a friends. Also let me know if they are taking a road trip. I would do the same if I wasn’t coming home for any reason or going away for the weekend.

Keep communicating, like you are doing. It’s good you are open about drugs and alcohol. Many will try it. Personally, I wouldn’t be okay with keeping mj in the house.



The bolded makes your advice useless. Having “find my iPhone” on your kid’s phone that you pay for when your kid is driving the car around at night that you also pay for is not only not creepy but is in fact responsible from a safety perspective. Knowing when your kid arrives somewhere safely or that they are headed home when they aren’t picking up the phone is peace of mind.

My teen with a new drivers’ license assured us they could drive themselves from a dmv suburb to a friend’s house in DC one night. Our kid put the address in maps and was off. Forty-five minutes later teen called, very nervous, because did not recognize where they were after following the nav. Turns out there was a street in PG County with the same name as the street in DC kid was trying to find. Because we had “find my” on, we could figure out where kid was and track them to ensure for them and us that they got on the right route.


I meant younger as in not seniors. They are still in high school and no, I don’t know where they are every moment they are out of the house. I don’t track them.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2023 03:17     Subject: Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
This friend group probably has a lot less social pressures and don't trigger his anxiety. He doen't have the same comparisons, they accept him as he is, and their social outings are probably just relaxing at someone's house getting high and not needing to talk much or be anyone or live up to anyone's expectations. The pot may also be self medicating his anxiety and so there is a double reward = where he has friends and feels accepted and also has less anxiety and feels chill


Anonymous
Post 03/27/2023 03:06     Subject: Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
So the kid basically listens, get's straight A's and asks for rides home if a person isn't sober enough to drive?

What's the problem here.
Anonymous
Post 03/27/2023 00:23     Subject: Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get life 360

not at 18

to add.. we have that on our kids phone, but when they are 18, if they don't want it, I don't think you should push for it.


18 is just a number and can mean a wide range of things and not all 18 year olds are the same.

Plus:

Who's paying for the phone/plan?
Do they live under your roof?
Who owns the car that being driven?
Who's paying for the insurance?



THANK YOU!

I wish I would walk on eggshells about the whereabouts of someone who is completely dependent on me and my resources. 18 doesn't mean shit if you're still 100% my dependent. If you're 18 and on your own, ok then. I can't ask too many questions.

But you are accountable to me and owe me direct answers and specific responses with regard to your whereabouts if you want the privilege of my shelter, phone, car, food, etc. as a legal adult.