Once. I work in a customer service role. It was six months after my mom died from cancer and I was talking to a customer on the phone who mentioned she had just lost her husband to cancer. She was a mom to two kids under 10. I kept it together while talking to her but lost it as soon as I hung up.

Oh yes definitely. Teacher. I try to do it alone. Kids are extraordinarily frustrating.

Twice.

First time was when I learned a wonderful mentor succumbed to cancer after a long fight. I was probably 28.

Second time we were dealing with a terrible situation where a lovely colleague who was struggling with alcoholism went on a bender and missed incredibly important meetings with ministerial-level counterparts. We were talking with higher ups about what to do/how to handle because it would have a tremendous impact on their career. It was a horrible situation to be in, and I felt so badly for this person, their struggle, and their family (two children same ages/sexes as mine). It hit too close to home and I just couldn't help but cry.

Both times, the two people who saw me acted with such empathy and grace. First time, my boss said I could go home if I felt I needed the time to process and grieve. Second time, they recognized what a tough situation I was facing and were just so supportive and helpful. Class acts, and I would walk through fire for both of them to this day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

1) Decades ago when I first started and was the obvious target of antisemitism (like they yelled “Jew” at me so it was pretty obvious).
2) When my house burned down and I went back to work a few days later.
3) When a co-worker berated me at a meeting and I was 9 months pregnant.

We are all human.

How true but sh*t happens in life, it's important that you deal with it professionally.

Sometimes being professional is to recognize that people are human.

Should people cry all the time in response to mild stressors …..like someone throwing away a brownie they made? No.

If someone is having difficulty in their lives, it should not be expected they leave it at the door. Yes, do your job, close the door, hold it together. But the occasional time someone is overwhelmed with emotion? It happens. If it’s never happened to you, that’s fine. That doesn’t mean it’s unprofessional to shed a tear at an office.

If you’ve never been publicly humiliated by a coworker or had something so devastating in your personal life that you couldn’t sit “professionally” for 8+ hours and pretend to be okay, I’d say either your life is abnormally happy or you should see a therapist about your ability to process emotion.

If you can’t handle someone crying behind a closed door for 10 minutes because their house burned down 4 days ago, you need to re-evaluate your empathy.

Just make sure no one sees you. That is truly unprofessional. Cry all you want BEFORE you show up to work.

You say that, but when I was 27 and 9 months pregnant and someone went on for 10 minutes in front of my entire team that “they keep getting pregnant and leaving” and disparaging you in everything you do…..hormones might make you react in a different manner.

Maybe we should be more upset at the people who cause the crying.

Never over anything related to the work.
Got teary when a colleague's father passed away. Made me think about my father who passed away too.
There were times during my divorce when I felt like crying. Would just go to the bathroom and let it pass. That was 8 years ago, much happier now.

When I got laid off during the pandemic and again a month ago, I never got close to tears. After divorce, parent death, other life events, such events at work seem surmountable.

Yes, because I miss my kids. I work swing shift and one day I only see the first grader before school.

When I was expressing my anger at no response from my company to supreme court voting down roe v wade. I went off camra and a male colleague PMd me, want me to Go? And i said "go'. He picked up right where i left off.

When I came back from vacation in Europe and was sitting at my desk. Felt really sad being so far away from there.

Oh god yes, especially when I worked in food service.

After my divorce I got a job managing a Starbucks at a university. I had NO TEETH as a manager, because I employed mostly students, so couldn’t discipline them for showing up late or not showing up at all. As a result, every day was absolute hell. I was also told - after I signed the contract - that although I was salaried for 40 hours a week, I was expected to be onsite 50 hours a week. I had a baby and a toddler and it was very, very hard. I cried in the bathroom a ton.

I was disciplined for not completing inventory on one of the days where literally no one showed up to work - I could not physically run the store and complete inventory. Obviously. I eventually had to leave to pick up my kids. I came to work the next day and was greeted with a write up for neglecting my duties.

I burned through my remaining PTO and was fired over the phone. Luckily I had just started a grad program and was able to get a grad assistant position pretty quickly.

Now I have a great career in IT, but I shudder to think of how many similarly vulnerable workers are exploited and penalized, as I was. It was truly a nightmare.

Yes, on occasion. Usually I would go find somewhere private, though I did go through one very horrible pregnancy where sometimes I would cry quietly at my desk (like tears streaming down my face but without making any noise). It was embarrassing but I was hormonal as hell, in horrible pain and discomfort, and dealing with news of a terminally ill family member and another family member having a mental health crisis. I sometimes can't believe I managed to work through all that, but I needed the income and had a baby on the way. Insane.

I have always been a crier but I hate hate hate when it happens at work.

I think the world is divided into people who recognize how hard it is to control if you’re a crier, and how many people think it’s manipulative and “just hold it together!” Believe me I would if I could.

Often I cried when I was really angry, but I didn’t have a way of expressing it at work.

Things that helped:

Realizing that my job that I was trying to convince myself was not that bad was bad enough to make me frustrated over and over again, so I left. (Over the span of years to get to this decision, and after having cried in front of managers when I didn’t want to)

Therapy, 8 months weekly, to talk about why I was crying. This helped to validate my thoughts about work a lot.

A mild antidepressant. This and the therapy were the most helpful. I’m still on the antidepressant after having fought it a long time. I wouldn’t say I’m depressed, it just really helped with the inappropriate crying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

1) Decades ago when I first started and was the obvious target of antisemitism (like they yelled “Jew” at me so it was pretty obvious).
2) When my house burned down and I went back to work a few days later.
3) When a co-worker berated me at a meeting and I was 9 months pregnant.

We are all human.

How true but sh*t happens in life, it's important that you deal with it professionally.

Sometimes being professional is to recognize that people are human.

Should people cry all the time in response to mild stressors …..like someone throwing away a brownie they made? No.

If someone is having difficulty in their lives, it should not be expected they leave it at the door. Yes, do your job, close the door, hold it together. But the occasional time someone is overwhelmed with emotion? It happens. If it’s never happened to you, that’s fine. That doesn’t mean it’s unprofessional to shed a tear at an office.

If you’ve never been publicly humiliated by a coworker or had something so devastating in your personal life that you couldn’t sit “professionally” for 8+ hours and pretend to be okay, I’d say either your life is abnormally happy or you should see a therapist about your ability to process emotion.

If you can’t handle someone crying behind a closed door for 10 minutes because their house burned down 4 days ago, you need to re-evaluate your empathy.

Just make sure no one sees you. That is truly unprofessional. Cry all you want BEFORE you show up to work.

I was in the middle of a miscarriage, and a bunch of women were gathered for a baby shower for a coworker in the lunchroom. I went to the bathroom and cried.

It takes a lot for me to cry, but I've cried once at work. I was dealing with an exceptionally vile patient who was screaming at me and berating my looks, intelligence, etc. He had been having these issues with staff all day, security had been called multiple times, doctors were involved regarding him, etc. He flipped on me because he had refused a procedure all day and when he told me at 1am he wanted it, I told him that unfortunately it wasn't possible as that department was not in hospital at night. I went to my manager and her first reaction was "well what could you have done to prevent his actions". I pulled my friend aside and cried. It was also the wake up call I needed to leave that unit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

1) Decades ago when I first started and was the obvious target of antisemitism (like they yelled “Jew” at me so it was pretty obvious).
2) When my house burned down and I went back to work a few days later.
3) When a co-worker berated me at a meeting and I was 9 months pregnant.

We are all human.

How true but sh*t happens in life, it's important that you deal with it professionally.

Yes, I agree! Be professional and don't berate any of your colleagues. Don't tolerate antisemitism! Show compassion to the colleague whose house burned down!