Anonymous wrote:I think that 100% of them, regardless of the event that occurred, are tacky if the GoFundMe was started by the victim(s)’ family member or BFF. If I see one it better be for a life or death situation, and I don’t want to see any photos or videos attached that are gruesome, or I won’t donate. The “life or death” part generally excludes living expenses for a living, able individual, or costs of replacing inanimate objects.

Is it better if they're started by a stranger? I always worry that's just some opportunist taking advantage of a story in the news.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having to beg for money from strangers for medical care or burials is the bread and butter of r/ABoringDystopia

The reality is that, even in those perfect Scandinavian countries, no one individual is getting millions of dollars worth of medical care for “free.” They just let people die instead.

Much better to ration health care by the ability to pay

A well meaning friend set one up for me without my knowledge. By the time Dh and I found out about it, it had raised several thousand. I was mortified. We shut it down and money was returned.

Anonymous wrote:Having to beg for money from strangers for medical care or burials is the bread and butter of r/ABoringDystopia

The reality is that, even in those perfect Scandinavian countries, no one individual is getting millions of dollars worth of medical care for “free.” They just let people die instead.

Anonymous wrote:My cousin lost a child and her friend set up a gofundme with the money directed to a charitable organization in lieu of flowers. It was an easy and convenient way for people to donate.

Was there a reason why they simply didn't include the link to the charitable organization? When my parents passed away as well as one of my siblings, I simply included links to the two charitable organizations we always supported as a family. No need for a pass through, especially as GFM taking some.

I don't necessarily find tacky, but can be a band aid that doesn't stick for what ends up being a more intractable situation.

DD came to me some years ago about a GFM for an older, now HS graduate that she had known through a student mentoring program. The young woman was in her second year of college and was raising for tuition as her money had run out. I explained to DH that I was willing to contribute a modest amount of money but that the more appropriate solution would be transferring to a more affordable school. I told DD I hated saying that b/c she clearly has a dream of being at this school, but there was going to come a point when folks would stop contributing to the GFM, then she would be out at her current school with no real options of getting into a less expensive one.

I was also a litte annoyed with their school's CCO for allowing this to happen. They were clearly aware that she had received FA for her K-12 education. Perhaps they urged her to make a different set of decisions and she didn't listened.

So that's why GFM can trouble me.

My cousin lost a child and her friend set up a gofundme with the money directed to a charitable organization in lieu of flowers. It was an easy and convenient way for people to donate.

Remember the small plane crash in Maryland that killed the mom home on maternity leave and 2 of her kids? That GoFund me raised nearly half a million bucks. (https://www.gofundme.com/f/gemmellfamily) But joke's on everyone who donated: the husband was able to sue anyone and everyone associated with that plane and walked away with millions in settlements, in addition to that half million donated from literally thousands of strangers.

Having to beg for money from strangers for medical care or burials is the bread and butter of r/ABoringDystopia

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. It’s a blessing to be so privileged, OP

I gladly donate. And many times I will donate as much as possible. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose a spouse and suddenly be on one income with kids. My cousin suddenly lost his wife. I was more than happy to donate

Enjoy your gilded existence

This. For those who are barely handling rent, life insurance is a luxury they can't afford. And when you are young and healthy it seems like it is not the worst thing to cut from your budget.

The ones for medical expenses are disgusting because we do that instead of insisting on workable universal health care in this country. Those are exhibitions of what is wrong with our health care system.

What's bad is that since younger people grew up with these, they see these as the norm. Which is why you end up seeing tackier and tackier reasons for why people create them.

What I hate is that for the situations where the money is truly warranted, so much of the money goes to GoFundMe. Ugh.

I also hate the donate to charity X things that Facebook sets up. I cringe over those too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a lot started on behalf of people who 1) didn’t approve the go fund me and 2) don’t even need the money. An individual I know sadly passed away suddenly - she easily made $500K a year and (I assume) had some sort of life insurance policy, yet within hours of her passing some well-meaning friend had set up a go fund me to cover funeral expenses. I think the family ultimately got wind of it and shut it down but come on - at least ask.

We had this problem when my cousin and his wife were in a car accident. A friend set up a go fund me without asking. They were asked to pull it down (my cousin and his wife had insurance and ample savings, definitely did not need or want a gofundme). Before it was removed almost $10,000 was raised. My cousin doesn't know what happened to that money. I rarely donate to gofundme's unless I am very close to the situation. There is a huge amount of fraud that could go on. It is better to just give cash or a check directly to the family.

This is terrible. So the fund raiser stole the money? And the people who donated are probably upset with your cousin for not saying thank you.

Can you refund people through gofundme? Maybe they did that. It was not set up as a scam, this friend just wanted to be helpful. My guess is that everyone was refunded somehow or the money was donated to some other charity, but who knows!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm weirded out by the ones for funerals. If you can't afford a funeral, then you need to cremate and do the cheapest thing possible. The person is dead - they won't care about what flower arrangement was there.

States provide funds for burials.

DC will provide $600 for cremation and $1,000 for burial. My suggestion is if the family doesn’t have the insurance, or cannot collectively pull their funds for cremation or funeral, don’t claim the body. The state or city will cremate the body. I mean they can’t keep the body forever, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a lot started on behalf of people who 1) didn’t approve the go fund me and 2) don’t even need the money. An individual I know sadly passed away suddenly - she easily made $500K a year and (I assume) had some sort of life insurance policy, yet within hours of her passing some well-meaning friend had set up a go fund me to cover funeral expenses. I think the family ultimately got wind of it and shut it down but come on - at least ask.

We had this problem when my cousin and his wife were in a car accident. A friend set up a go fund me without asking. They were asked to pull it down (my cousin and his wife had insurance and ample savings, definitely did not need or want a gofundme). Before it was removed almost $10,000 was raised. My cousin doesn't know what happened to that money. I rarely donate to gofundme's unless I am very close to the situation. There is a huge amount of fraud that could go on. It is better to just give cash or a check directly to the family.

This is terrible. So the fund raiser stole the money? And the people who donated are probably upset with your cousin for not saying thank you.