Anonymous wrote:For the same reason people are annoyed when other women lose weight, go vegan, run a marathon, or any other number of things that take some effort and planning over a sustained period of time. It’s something most people CAN do, and most people choose not to.

A lot people are insecure about their choices and react defensively when other people make different choices because they don’t understand the difference between people living out their own adventure around them and people living AT them. They assume someone having a positive experience with their own different choice somehow negates or minimizes their own positive experience with their choice. Similar to marathon running or your new diet, if you don’t make it your whole personality, it shouldn’t be an issue.

Goodness. Such open ignorance. Bless your little heart.

Because some of us would be dead or have dead babies if we hadn't had medical intervention. We can't really imagine what it would be like to not have medical intervention. It's really hard for me to imagine a birth that wasn't an awful experience. If your experience was different, consider yourself very lucky!

I had two unmedicated births. I am terrified of needles (yes, more than actual pain, I realize how weird that is) and I also grew up in a more holistic household where we didn't take medicine for fevers, we took antibiotics when needed but not much else. So it was sort of natural to me to want my babies to come into the world without the drugs in my body and in theirs.

That said: I got lucky with uncomplicated births, no emergencies. It hurt like he// but I didn't have to get induced, so it was a natural build up to the pain (vs pain all at once with pitocin). I also don't ever bring it up in conversation unless directly asked. I don't care what others choose and I think it's weird when others care how others births went. It's not a competition. Once you have teens you realize how all those choices about births/breastfeeding/cosleeping/baby wearing/sahm v wohm-- etc is irrelevant. They are all so vastly different and nobody is saying that the bully is that way because his mom used an epidural or that debate team captain is so successful because mom breastfed. It seems all important when you are still in baby world, but after awhile...irrelevant.

I was really happy for the medication prior to my 2 C sections. I don’t think I have ever asked anyone if they had meds. Who cares?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the same reason people are annoyed when other women lose weight, go vegan, run a marathon, or any other number of things that take some effort and planning over a sustained period of time. It’s something most people CAN do, and most people choose not to.

A lot people are insecure about their choices and react defensively when other people make different choices because they don’t understand the difference between people living out their own adventure around them and people living AT them. They assume someone having a positive experience with their own different choice somehow negates or minimizes their own positive experience with their choice. Similar to marathon running or your new diet, if you don’t make it your whole personality, it shouldn’t be an issue.

Lol you think an unmedicated birth is some accomplishment comparable to a marathon.

Any birth is much more of an accomplishment than a marathon. Bffr.

Anonymous wrote:For the same reason people are annoyed when other women lose weight, go vegan, run a marathon, or any other number of things that take some effort and planning over a sustained period of time. It’s something most people CAN do, and most people choose not to.

A lot people are insecure about their choices and react defensively when other people make different choices because they don’t understand the difference between people living out their own adventure around them and people living AT them. They assume someone having a positive experience with their own different choice somehow negates or minimizes their own positive experience with their choice. Similar to marathon running or your new diet, if you don’t make it your whole personality, it shouldn’t be an issue.

Lol you think an unmedicated birth is some accomplishment comparable to a marathon.

For the same reason people are annoyed when other women lose weight, go vegan, run a marathon, or any other number of things that take some effort and planning over a sustained period of time. It’s something most people CAN do, and most people choose not to.

A lot people are insecure about their choices and react defensively when other people make different choices because they don’t understand the difference between people living out their own adventure around them and people living AT them. They assume someone having a positive experience with their own different choice somehow negates or minimizes their own positive experience with their choice. Similar to marathon running or your new diet, if you don’t make it your whole personality, it shouldn’t be an issue.

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Anonymous wrote:People are usually self-righteous about it.

I had two unmedicated births and am not self-righteous about it. I also don’t volunteer this information unless asked. I feel judged for not having been induced or gotten an epidural, if anything.

I had an unmedicated birth, a fact I don't volunteer. I've heard people talk about how women who don't get pain meds are stupid, martyrs, anti-science, masochistic. It was pretty offensive.

I genuinely do not care what anyone else does, but I agree there is some bad discourse that paints it like a matter of willpower, or a competition, or like there is a "right" way to give birth, that I find obnoxious (even though I did it the supposedly right way). But it goes both ways. I think women should be given accurate information about the risks, benefits, and side effects, and make the choice that works the best for them.

Agree with last statement wholeheartedly.

I think the reaction you describe from people who had pain meds is mainly defensive, a reaction to be characterized as selfish or stupid for pursuing interventions. That doesn't make those defensive statements right or excused. It's pretty awful to have another woman tell you that because you had an epidural, you are selfish and put yourself ahead of your baby. What a terrible and untrue thing to say.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are usually self-righteous about it.

I had two unmedicated births and am not self-righteous about it. I also don’t volunteer this information unless asked. I feel judged for not having been induced or gotten an epidural, if anything.

Thus the use of the word "usually". If you went unmedicated and don't brag about it, I really don't see how someone who had an epidural would give a fig.

On the other hand, lots of harpies on here (not you, obviously) who brag about unmedicated births and go on at length on the selfishness of women who had epidurals.

It's really just like anything else in the mommy wars. Unnecessary judging.

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Anonymous wrote:Because sometimes it seems like women are more concerned about their birth experience than they are about the health of their baby. You can't see why some would be bothered by that?

Because studies have shown that babies' outcomes are better during normal births without pain meds compared to normal births with pain meds. So in this particular case, women usually do it FOR their babies. No one wants pain, PP.

This is false. People are not offended by unmedicated birth, but rather by people pretending it's better when it is not.

In china they had a program for No pain labor and delivery and in hospitals where this was instituted, rates of c-sections decreased.

Have your unmedicated birth - but don't act like you are superior because you had one. You are not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are usually self-righteous about it.

I had two unmedicated births and am not self-righteous about it. I also don’t volunteer this information unless asked. I feel judged for not having been induced or gotten an epidural, if anything.

I had an unmedicated birth, a fact I don't volunteer. I've heard people talk about how women who don't get pain meds are stupid, martyrs, anti-science, masochistic. It was pretty offensive.

I genuinely do not care what anyone else does, but I agree there is some bad discourse that paints it like a matter of willpower, or a competition, or like there is a "right" way to give birth, that I find obnoxious (even though I did it the supposedly right way). But it goes both ways. I think women should be given accurate information about the risks, benefits, and side effects, and make the choice that works the best for them.

Anonymous wrote:Op, because they (you) go on-and-on-and-on about it

This is OP and I certainly don’t go on and on about how I’ve given birth unless asked. That’s obnoxious. I also have zero judgement with however anyone else gives birth. I think mothers should support one another.

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Anonymous wrote:People are usually self-righteous about it.

And naively idealistic about it.

wtf don't hate, congratulate

See that’s the exact issue I have with it (DP). I don’t care how you birthed your baby. So don’t expect congratulations. It won’t be coming.

Shouldn’t all women who give birth be congratulated, regardless? I mean, it’s an amazing feat, no matter how it occurs.

Congratulated for the baby? Sure. For the birth method? No.

Why not?

Because it would be extremely weird to congratulate a mom on her emergency C section (not baby, but birth method) and likewise weird to congratulate a mom on avoiding an emergency c section. These are just not things worthy of praise.

Anonymous wrote:Or birth that is not augmented medically? It’s like there are those who are offended that women would like to have as few interventions as possible and see this approach as self-righteous or naively idealistic.

This is something that doesn't bother me in the slightest. But, my C-section sure bothered some people I know!

Anonymous wrote:Why are some people so bothered by a medicated birth?

OP here. Exactly. Why is anyone bothered by how anyone else gives birth? I don’t understand it. Why don’t we just support each other?