Anonymous
03/14/2023 11:10
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You have a junior and a sophomore - why can't you say that? If your younger one is happy at the school what is the problem? I think you just have to deal with it.
Children's experiences with the same school can be quite different.
A little confused at this too. OP, please believe that there are plenty of unhappy parents at Big 3's. At this point I would try to ride it out. You've spent and are going to spend a ton of money and it's easy to fantasize about being punitive and going scorched earth but doing so would probably only hurt your kids.
DH and I are sending our oldest to PreK at a Big 3 and I'm already regretting it. It's a huge pile of money and I keep telling myself I'm going to see how this year goes and reevaluate (we have two younger kids to consider too). The parents who we know attending the school range from insufferable and snobby to just ridiculously wealthy and out of touch (playdate this weekend reveled that ridiculously wealthy parents had to scramble to get their $$ out of First Republic after taking on a $5M loan to to side-by-side deals...how relatable! They were shocked that we only had one nanny... husband commenting that we couldn't stop up because we were overextended with childcare costs was met with silence...so many of these families live in a bubble).
Sorry, you know about the plenty unhappy parents how? You’re sending your oldest to PREK next year for chrissakes
You guys are too much
I agree. People with high school kids (like me) literally don’t care what a mom of four years has to say about this.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 11:09
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:At least name the school, if you're going to avoid the specific issues.
You know the school. Just look up her previous posts
How do you look at an anonymous poster's previous posts?
I said how. And NP agreed.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 11:08
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
Let’s do an objective attempt to help. Let’s list the issues that could possibly happen that would warrant someone leaving the school. Then say which of those would warrant actually leaving and hating the school. OP can nod.
Poor teaching quality -unlikely
Poor school facilities -ditto
Large class sizes -ditto
Bullying -? Didn’t sound like it, but that’s a big one.
Harassment - racial, sexual, any type? Unlikely that others wouldn’t have heard.
Academic performance
College prospects
Bad influence by classmates
Drugs
Alcohol
Mental health issues
Poor teaching quality -unlikely
Poor school facilities -ditto
Large class sizes -ditto
Bullying -? Didn’t sound like it, but that’s a big one.
Harassment - racial, sexual, any type? Unlikely that others wouldn’t have heard.
Academic performance
College prospects
Bad influence by classmates
Drugs
Alcohol
Mental health issues
Anonymous
03/14/2023 11:05
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yea you’ve made this about you when it shouldn’t be. School is about your kids, not you. That seems to be a thing with the private school crowd. Many think it’s like the whole family joined a country club or something. You know, “we” got in, etc.
If your kid is happy, your kid stays where he is, and you, yourself, avoid having anything to do with the school as much as possible. End of story.
No OP is upset about how the school treated a kid or her kid. OP did not talk about socializing with other parents.
NP. She’s posted here repeatedly. She’s upset about the parent social scene.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 11:05
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:At least name the school, if you're going to avoid the specific issues.
You know the school. Just look up her previous posts
How do you look at an anonymous poster's previous posts?
Anonymous
03/14/2023 11:04
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
Anonymous wrote:At least name the school, if you're going to avoid the specific issues.
You know the school. Just look up her previous posts
Anonymous
03/14/2023 11:04
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
Anonymous wrote:You don't transfer a happy HS kid. Yes, you suck it up and pay tuition. And, you can fisengage from the administration. No more annual gift, no more attending gala - participate in teacher appreciation only
Not the “gala”. Oy vey. The PTA is shaking.
If there’s a serious issue, name it in a sanitized way. Sorry you are struggling but it takes two to tango. Unless it’s bullying, harassment and that can be described easily in sanitized terms and you should take a much more serious action that just airing it on dcum.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 11:02
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
At least name the school, if you're going to avoid the specific issues.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 11:01
Subject: Re:HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
OP, why was it necessary to mention that the school is a Big 3?
Anonymous
03/14/2023 11:01
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You have a junior and a sophomore - why can't you say that? If your younger one is happy at the school what is the problem? I think you just have to deal with it.
Children's experiences with the same school can be quite different.
A little confused at this too. OP, please believe that there are plenty of unhappy parents at Big 3's. At this point I would try to ride it out. You've spent and are going to spend a ton of money and it's easy to fantasize about being punitive and going scorched earth but doing so would probably only hurt your kids.
DH and I are sending our oldest to PreK at a Big 3 and I'm already regretting it. It's a huge pile of money and I keep telling myself I'm going to see how this year goes and reevaluate (we have two younger kids to consider too). The parents who we know attending the school range from insufferable and snobby to just ridiculously wealthy and out of touch (playdate this weekend reveled that ridiculously wealthy parents had to scramble to get their $$ out of First Republic after taking on a $5M loan to to side-by-side deals...how relatable! They were shocked that we only had one nanny... husband commenting that we couldn't stop up because we were overextended with childcare costs was met with silence...so many of these families live in a bubble).
Sorry, you know about the plenty unhappy parents how? You’re sending your oldest to PREK next year for chrissakes
You guys are too much
Anonymous
03/14/2023 10:59
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
Anonymous wrote:
It always comes down to whether you have a better option elsewhere, OP. You can hate this school til kingdom come, but if you have no good alternative...
Maybe test the theory that admissions are easier from the local public? Report back. All ears.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 10:57
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
Anonymous wrote:I'm team OP. These schools can and do behave badly. We have seen it happen ourselves and many incidents have been in the news later. The culture is one of cover up and I can definitely imagine something happening with her older child that would make a family angry enough to leave and to try to crowd source opinions about what to do.
Because these places are so secretive she probably does not want to speak with other parents at the school.
Please what happened? Do tell? Just give a list of things. Because things are never named, and when they are (Supreme court case against a Big 3, anyone) they reveal a non-issue and vane parents. It may be unfair but my natural assumption is that you are in that category. Serious families with serious issues solve them without dcum. I know a family who’s moved schools twice several once, sky didn’t fall and no one polled the internet
Anonymous
03/14/2023 10:55
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is making you so unhappy? I think you can speak broadly without identifying yourself and maybe some people can help. It seems impractical to leave at this point, so maybe there are steps you could take to help you feel better about the school. We have had kids at two of these schools and they can be frustrating, but sometimes its about finding the right person at the school to vent your concerns.
It’s probably a lower GPA and a different college list than they thought.
I can’t imagine a situation in which I’d sit such a big family decision on the internet. So I think she’ll never tell because nothing happened
it's too early for that
Nope. It’s right on time in Big3. Got released a few weeks ago; family counseling meetings just happened
Anonymous
03/14/2023 10:53
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
It's not like you'll save a lot of money if you leave the school, unless you go to public. All the private school's around here are really expensive.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 10:53
Subject: HATE OUR BIG 3 too late to leave?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What is making you so unhappy? I think you can speak broadly without identifying yourself and maybe some people can help. It seems impractical to leave at this point, so maybe there are steps you could take to help you feel better about the school. We have had kids at two of these schools and they can be frustrating, but sometimes its about finding the right person at the school to vent your concerns.
It’s probably a lower GPA and a different college list than they thought.
I can’t imagine a situation in which I’d sit such a big family decision on the internet. So I think she’ll never tell because nothing happened
it's too early for that