Anonymous wrote:Nanny sounds entitled. When you have a job you do what’s requested of you by your employer. If she doesn’t like it she can start her own company and do as she likes.

And that’s what she’s done. She’s moving on.

Nanny sounds entitled. When you have a job you do what’s requested of you by your employer. If she doesn’t like it she can start her own company and do as she likes.

If this is how the nanny reacted then she already wanted to quit. This was a last straw. Nobody would do this in a good working arrangement.

1. OP, yes, you are entirely at fault for asking your nanny for a note without consulting your co-employers and/or including that in your contract in the first place. You don’t just sorting things like that on people.

2. If you want any chance of regaining your friend, wait until she has new childcare in place. Then reach out with a profound heartfelt apology for ruining at least one month of her life. Right now she’s not going to be able to let go of how mad she is at you because she’s scrambling while you’re not and this is entirely your fault.

(That being said, I’m very sorry for your situation; it sucks to screw up in such an epic way and it doesn’t seem like you meant ill)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of company do you run? I’ve never ever had to provide a doctors note to any employee. Even when working in customer service.

Days off are days off. It doesn’t matter why, as long as it’s not excessive it’s truly not your business.

I work for a F500, any sick day absence beyond 3 days requires a note. I’ve never taken 3 days off in a row, so never had to get one, but it’s not some totally alien ask.

Sounds like op didn’t mention the ask to the nanny share partner, which was wrong, and didn’t include it in whatever agreement they had upfront, which was wrong. Op made a big mistake and should be groveling to both the nanny and the friend, but it doesn’t sound like she realizes she was out of line.

You’re in the wrong and should just apologize to friend, own up impact it had on her and move on.

Running a business and have an employee policy handbook is very different than having household employees. Also, if you wanted a note you should have run it by your friend since you both employed the nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of company do you run? I’ve never ever had to provide a doctors note to any employee. Even when working in customer service.

Days off are days off. It doesn’t matter why, as long as it’s not excessive it’s truly not your business.

I work for a F500, any sick day absence beyond 3 days requires a note. I’ve never taken 3 days off in a row, so never had to get one, but it’s not some totally alien ask.

But the difference is that you know this. It was sprung on OP’s nanny out of the blue.

Anonymous wrote:What kind of company do you run? I’ve never ever had to provide a doctors note to any employee. Even when working in customer service.

Days off are days off. It doesn’t matter why, as long as it’s not excessive it’s truly not your business.

I work for a F500, any sick day absence beyond 3 days requires a note. I’ve never taken 3 days off in a row, so never had to get one, but it’s not some totally alien ask.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Befriend is a transitive verb. You need an object in your third sentence.

Can’t figure it out with context clues?

Can’t write proper English?

Love your ableism/xenophobia

Anonymous wrote:^^ me back to say that you're causing people to spend $150 to go to a doctor when it isn't always necessary. Also, huge time inconvenience.

I assume if she actually had strep she had already gone to an urgent care or dr, otherwise how would she have known? Also, most co-pays are not $150. If she didn’t have insurance, nanny could have pushed back and said she’d get a dr note if they paid for the appt. OP knows she was dumb and should not have asked for it if it was not in the contract. That said, we’ve employed several long term (5, 3 & 7 years respectively) nannies. We’ve also had a few that lasted much less. We definitely had our fair share of manipulating the system, saying they were sick when it turned out they were hungover, working for someone else, etc. Some of these nannies had started out trust worthy and then went bad (stolen things, left 3 year old with a friend while going somewhere else, etc), so I think it’s always wise to be cautious but you must respect your contract. I’ll say that I have never seen a nanny share not end badly. Just get your own nanny

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree you were wrong, but a friend who can’t forgive the misstep is a friend who would desert you at some point anyway. I think you’re better off without the friend. The fact the nanny isn’t willing to work with the friend to find a replacement for you means the nanny wants to move on, not just from you, but from your friend as well, and that’s not your fault. I don’t believe the nanny cares whether it would be awkward between you two (why would she care about that?) she is just using it as an excuse to move on. Sorry, OP, but I think if it hadn’t been this, it would have been something else with these two.

I don’t know. It’s a pretty big deal to ruin your friend’s childcare arrangements.

I think it’s the nanny that’s ruining the childcare relationship with the friend. The nanny could just “fire” OP. The fact that she won’t means she isn’t interested in working with the friend, and that’s not OP’s fault. I think nanny would have left sooner rather than later anyway, not only because of OP.

Did you read the OP? It was long, but she did say the nanny needed the share rate and the friend couldn’t afford it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Befriend is a transitive verb. You need an object in your third sentence.

Can’t figure it out with context clues?

Can’t write proper English?

Not to be pedantic, but your thread title is wrong. Your nanny share situation didn’t ruin the friendship, you did that all by yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree you were wrong, but a friend who can’t forgive the misstep is a friend who would desert you at some point anyway. I think you’re better off without the friend. The fact the nanny isn’t willing to work with the friend to find a replacement for you means the nanny wants to move on, not just from you, but from your friend as well, and that’s not your fault. I don’t believe the nanny cares whether it would be awkward between you two (why would she care about that?) she is just using it as an excuse to move on. Sorry, OP, but I think if it hadn’t been this, it would have been something else with these two.

I don’t know. It’s a pretty big deal to ruin your friend’s childcare arrangements.

I think it’s the nanny that’s ruining the childcare relationship with the friend. The nanny could just “fire” OP. The fact that she won’t means she isn’t interested in working with the friend, and that’s not OP’s fault. I think nanny would have left sooner rather than later anyway, not only because of OP.

What kind of company do you run? I’ve never ever had to provide a doctors note to any employee. Even when working in customer service.

Days off are days off. It doesn’t matter why, as long as it’s not excessive it’s truly not your business.