Anonymous wrote:I’m n general, kids are stuck in their covid year. I teach 5th and once I realized this, everything started to make sense.

As for older kids, it just depends. Dd was 2021. She hated HS. She chose to stay online when she had the option to go back. She had no social life prior to the pandemic, so I think the lockdown took that pressure off of her. She went to college and is thriving. Probably because her peers are now just as socially stunted as she is, so she no longer feels behind in that sense. She’s the middle child, and my other two are/were heavily involved in school activities. If they had missed the end of senior year, it would have been devastating.

I think the pandemic really set these kids back when it comes to relationships. The 2020/2021 group has no clue how relationships work since they went a couple of years not seeing a lot of examples of healthy, functional relationships among their peers. Like this whole ghosting thing. So cruel and cowardly, but it is just considered to be the normal way to end things.

Do you mind sharing how you see this with your fifth graders?

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier in the thread about my 2020 kid. Pivoting towards solutions -- does anyone have any suggestions for how to help our kids (or more accurately help them help themselves) catch up from these deficits?

I can't beat myself up too much for not keeping my DS home for a year for a gap year, because what was there to do? I looked into gap year programs for a hot second but they, like everything else, shut down. And DS was opposed to a gap year anyway.

But apart from therapy, which DS is in -- what else is helpful now? He says he feels like a kid stuck in a 20 year old's body; that everyone else knows how to do things that he doesn't (socially).

Is your child a junior in college? Is he homesick?

It is probably possible for him to take a leave of absence for a semester or a year.

I posted earlier in the thread about my 2020 kid. Pivoting towards solutions -- does anyone have any suggestions for how to help our kids (or more accurately help them help themselves) catch up from these deficits?

I can't beat myself up too much for not keeping my DS home for a year for a gap year, because what was there to do? I looked into gap year programs for a hot second but they, like everything else, shut down. And DS was opposed to a gap year anyway.

But apart from therapy, which DS is in -- what else is helpful now? He says he feels like a kid stuck in a 20 year old's body; that everyone else knows how to do things that he doesn't (socially).

I’m n general, kids are stuck in their covid year. I teach 5th and once I realized this, everything started to make sense.

As for older kids, it just depends. Dd was 2021. She hated HS. She chose to stay online when she had the option to go back. She had no social life prior to the pandemic, so I think the lockdown took that pressure off of her. She went to college and is thriving. Probably because her peers are now just as socially stunted as she is, so she no longer feels behind in that sense. She’s the middle child, and my other two are/were heavily involved in school activities. If they had missed the end of senior year, it would have been devastating.

I think the pandemic really set these kids back when it comes to relationships. The 2020/2021 group has no clue how relationships work since they went a couple of years not seeing a lot of examples of healthy, functional relationships among their peers. Like this whole ghosting thing. So cruel and cowardly, but it is just considered to be the normal way to end things.

DS ‘21 hustled during remote months. I think he developed mild anxiety prior to pandemic because of his workload, looming APs, SAT, exams, college apps, internship, volunteering, and sport. Oddly, virtual lifted his anxiety. He slept better, ate well, and had more time. He and his friends would drive solo and meetup at the beach. Got weekly work done in a couple of days. He made a deal with teachers that he’d hand in assignments before deadline for approval to skip Tuesday classes in order to continue volunteering in person at a local food pantry. He facilitated an outdoor CDC compliant distribution site, got the permits, volunteers, and made it happen in 24 hours. It was grueling 9 hour days and endless car lines. Of course, I was worried about Covid, but he N95’d and gloved. He devoted many years to this work prior to the pandemic, and continued until he left for college. He was thrilled to keep his internship remotely, and was asked to lead the development of a Covid site/platform. He also had more time to devote to college apps, did a bunch of virtual tours, and emailed his admissions advisors with questions. He absolutely was accepted after being deferred to one of his top choices because of the above. A well laid plan that he translated into really good essay. It wasn’t wasted on him. He is still so grateful. The hustle carried over now that he’s in college. Good friends, good grades, and a few more internships. Sometimes we remind him to slow his roll. Every once in a while I sing my anthem to him, Mama used to say, take your time young man. Mama used to say, don’t you rush to get old…

I have a 2021 grad. My DS is older than most of his classmates - he has a Sept birthday and we "redshirted" him. Obviously he's not significantly older, but I have observed that he's always been more mature emotionally than most of his friends. I was extremely disappointed that DS missed out on a normal senior year, but he seemed to take it in stride. He went to a private high school and they went back in person (hybrid schedule where 1/3 of the school was in person every day) in the 2nd quarter. He took full advantage of any in person activities but he had friends who chose to stay home and never went back to school - they didn't want to go to the school they didn't recognize. Other than wearing a mask the first semester of his freshman year, he had a very typical freshman year in college.

I also have an older son who graduated from college in 2022. On the parent Facebook page for his school, the parents of the 2020 high school grads were posting how isolated their DC felt. The Covid restrictions at my older's college were excessive. There were students snitching on other students if they suspected or observed violations to the Covid policies. Parents were calling out students on the parent page. It was extremely toxic and I felt so bad for those students. Even today, I occasionally see a post from a parent who will reference their child's struggles and will often say how difficult freshman year was and they still haven't recovered emotionally.

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2020 kid who's really starting to feel the consequences of the pandemic IMO in ways that we're only recognizing now. He and his peers definitely missed out on a lot -- I mean, having his last semester of his HS sport would have been great, and prom, and graduation, but the biggest loss was a normal freshman year when kids are most ready to socialize, meet new friends, and imprint on each other like ducklings. DS held it together really well his first year in a single in the dorm with all remote classes but now he's really feeling it in that all his friends are friends from HS and there's splits in the friend group. As a kid who is shy/introverted anyway, and who really relies on his friends for support, he's feeling stuck because it's just not as easy junior year to find and make new friends for an introverted kid like him.

I know others as well who just pushed through their senior years and their first year or two of college but the wheels have come off in various ways. I just don't think we should underestimate how hard the pandemic and lockdown (as necessary as it was) were on them at a crucial stage in their lives.

I have a 2020 and agree with you. Missing the last eight weeks of senior year festivities was a drag, but probably not damaging. But missing the opportunity to really launch into a new chapter and embrace a new kind of independence was terribly hard on a lot of kids that I know and I’m aware of. I think there was a hope that kids who started college in 2020 would have a real “in this together” experience, but ultimately, I think it was very isolating for so many.

I have a 2020 kid who's really starting to feel the consequences of the pandemic IMO in ways that we're only recognizing now. He and his peers definitely missed out on a lot -- I mean, having his last semester of his HS sport would have been great, and prom, and graduation, but the biggest loss was a normal freshman year when kids are most ready to socialize, meet new friends, and imprint on each other like ducklings. DS held it together really well his first year in a single in the dorm with all remote classes but now he's really feeling it in that all his friends are friends from HS and there's splits in the friend group. As a kid who is shy/introverted anyway, and who really relies on his friends for support, he's feeling stuck because it's just not as easy junior year to find and make new friends for an introverted kid like him.

I know others as well who just pushed through their senior years and their first year or two of college but the wheels have come off in various ways. I just don't think we should underestimate how hard the pandemic and lockdown (as necessary as it was) were on them at a crucial stage in their lives.

Good lord, no. My 2021 graduate is very much enjoying being an adult and doing adult things, like going away to college and going to concerts and professional sports events and hanging with his friends.

No. 2020 kid will graduate on time. Has decided to rake 1-2 years before grad school to work and make sure he has chosen the right application of the degree. Currently studying abroad.

He’s an introvert so ir took an extra year or so to make good friends. He’s at what I consider an appropriate maturity level for his age.

My 2020 kid isn’t showing any obvious signs of turmoil (yet), but they do know a few kids who’ve quietly left their schools and are way under the radar. Which I find sad, but it’s seen as embarrassing.

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t seen the tik tok but for SURE really “stuck” in many ways. 2021 grad. Covid turned them upside down. And the world (college for example) doesn’t totally get that.

Could not agree more. Sure, there are kids who emerged unscathed. But the complete lack of regard or accommodation for the needs of those whose lives were turned upside down is astonishing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2022 graduate was shocked when she turned 19. She says she still feels 17 due to the pandemic.

Yep, mine too. I have a 2020, 2022, and 2025. Definitely worst for 2022 but I suppose it could be the kid. Boy. The other two are girls.

Interesting. I have 2 2022 kids and they are generally okay. One may be slightly less mature due to the limited socialization for 18 months. I think 2021 had it the hardest - 2020 was so close to graduation yet know a number of grads from 2020 who say they had it way better than 2021.

If anything, I'm finding 2024 and 2025 kids to be a little stunted - academically and socially - based on comments from their parents. They missed some formative years and now are all of sudden young adults.

Haven’t seen the tik tok but for SURE really “stuck” in many ways. 2021 grad. Covid turned them upside down. And the world (college for example) doesn’t totally get that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine graduated in 2020 and no. Their school year always ended in May so there were only 8 weeks left in the school year when things shut down. Prom was cancelled and graduation was held in batches that August. They seem fine to me. 2020 kids were also in a good spot to take a gap year without missing out on much if they desired to.

I think it was harder on 2021 kids.

The 2020 kids missed their first year of college, which I think is worse than missing the last year of high school.

Some did. My son only missed little more than a month of college. They held classes outside, online, or in smaller groups.

My child's college actually had a lot of in-person classes in the 2020-2021 school year. But honestly I don't think the classes themselves are what people are referring to in this case. That's just a tiny fraction of the "college experience."