Anonymous
03/06/2023 07:22
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences
Yeah, sorry, that's not backed up by data at all
Lol there are no “scientific” conclusory facts about these things, selection bias is far too great for “data” to tell you much. People are still arguing about whether the “data” tells you divorce is even bad for kids! (It is). You have to use your observational skills and knowledge about the world
I'm sorry, you seem really uneducated about the sciences. There is in fact tons of research that looks at the impacts of divorce. There is plenty of scientific quantitative and qualitative data over decades, and most of it clearly shows that the majority of children of divorce do not suffer severe long term impacts. It's pretty clear. I'm sorry you don't know what research is in this field.
I’m a PhD social scientist who is very familiar with this research. It is highly inconclusive because it is impossible to adjust for the numerous differences between families who divorce and families who do not. The simple correlations show that divorce is a disaster for kids - worse than the death of a parent, one of the worst things that can happen. On average children of divorced families perform much worse in almost every dimension of life than children from intact families. However the preexisting differences between families who divorce and families who don’t are so great that it’s very difficult verging on impossible to tell what would have happened to those kids had their parents stayed together. It’s for this reason that one shouldn’t expect the “data” to magically answer this question.
My own interpretation of the weight of the evidence is that it’s likely divorce is pretty bad for kids - if you look at the large absolute disadvantages associated with being a child of divorced parents, even for kids from otherwise advantaged families, it’s hard to imagine it’s all a selection bias. In addition common sense and the testimony of children of divorce supports this view. But the impact of divorce is probably pretty heterogenous across individual families. Ironically (or perhaps not) there’s evidence that it’s children from families who were already most disadvantaged / high risk who probably suffer least from divorce
How can you write this and completely ignore the above-cited research showing little difference it outcomes? You want to have it both ways - claim the research is flawed (when you don’t like the conclusion) then make your own opposite conclusion based on research.
Anonymous
03/06/2023 07:20
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences
research please?
it is MUCH more common to hear adults say they wished their parents had not stayed togethe, than that they wish they had not divorced.
But they don’t have the opposite situation to compare it to. They may think they wish their parents divorced, but how do they really know what it’s like?
Yet every movie and show about divorce us the kids wishing or hoping the parents would get back together.
And the kids thinking they were the reason.
Anonymous
03/06/2023 07:20
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences
research please?
it is MUCH more common to hear adults say they wished their parents had not stayed togethe, than that they wish they had not divorced.
But they don’t have the opposite situation to compare it to. They may think they wish their parents divorced, but how do they really know what it’s like?
I have literally never heard anyone say that and I have only ever heard how much a PIA from adults with divorced parents to juggle holidays and events when the parents have all remarried.
And when there is a toxic parent divorce doesn’t change that.
Anonymous
03/06/2023 07:19
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences
research please?
it is MUCH more common to hear adults say they wished their parents had not stayed togethe, than that they wish they had not divorced.
But they don’t have the opposite situation to compare it to. They may think they wish their parents divorced, but how do they really know what it’s like?
in many of these anecdotes, the parents ended up getting divorced anyway.
Anonymous
03/06/2023 07:16
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences
research please?
it is MUCH more common to hear adults say they wished their parents had not stayed togethe, than that they wish they had not divorced.
But they don’t have the opposite situation to compare it to. They may think they wish their parents divorced, but how do they really know what it’s like?
Yet every movie and show about divorce us the kids wishing or hoping the parents would get back together.
Anonymous
03/06/2023 00:16
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences
Yeah, sorry, that's not backed up by data at all
Lol there are no “scientific” conclusory facts about these things, selection bias is far too great for “data” to tell you much. People are still arguing about whether the “data” tells you divorce is even bad for kids! (It is). You have to use your observational skills and knowledge about the world
I'm sorry, you seem really uneducated about the sciences. There is in fact tons of research that looks at the impacts of divorce. There is plenty of scientific quantitative and qualitative data over decades, and most of it clearly shows that the majority of children of divorce do not suffer severe long term impacts. It's pretty clear. I'm sorry you don't know what research is in this field.
I’m a PhD social scientist who is very familiar with this research. It is highly inconclusive because it is impossible to adjust for the numerous differences between families who divorce and families who do not. The simple correlations show that divorce is a disaster for kids - worse than the death of a parent, one of the worst things that can happen. On average children of divorced families perform much worse in almost every dimension of life than children from intact families. However the preexisting differences between families who divorce and families who don’t are so great that it’s very difficult verging on impossible to tell what would have happened to those kids had their parents stayed together. It’s for this reason that one shouldn’t expect the “data” to magically answer this question.
My own interpretation of the weight of the evidence is that it’s likely divorce is pretty bad for kids - if you look at the large absolute disadvantages associated with being a child of divorced parents, even for kids from otherwise advantaged families, it’s hard to imagine it’s all a selection bias. In addition common sense and the testimony of children of divorce supports this view. But the impact of divorce is probably pretty heterogenous across individual families. Ironically (or perhaps not) there’s evidence that it’s children from families who were already most disadvantaged / high risk who probably suffer least from divorce
DP And I’d add that it’s hard to know what questions to ask to get at what makes it “bad”. In my case, in addition to financial issues, there was an angry, controlling parent. Being divorced did not make the parent less angry — it meant that instead of being able to direct the anger at a spouse, some of it got directed at the kid impacted by a custody agreement. I’m not up on current research, but I’ve seen very few questionnaires and formal studies from older research that would have picked up issues like this even using testimony from children impacted by divorce. The “divorce” itself isn’t the crucial issue — when the reasons for divorce are highly problematic chronic issues that are unlikely to change.
tldr: While “it’s likely that divorce is pretty bad for kids” I’d argue that things like substance abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, hostility… — often things that underlying the reasons for divorce — are likely to be worse. “Worse” includes things like minor children having to deal with highly problematic adults alone — without the protection or intervention of the other parent.
Anonymous
03/05/2023 22:46
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Don’t wait til they’re older if you need to leave now. Waiting does not make it better imo.
Anonymous
03/05/2023 22:45
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Just separated and dc just turned 16. Should have done it 10 years earlier. I would say earlier is better. Seeks to be adjusting okay and it’s an extra strain I’m sure.
Anonymous
03/05/2023 22:34
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences
Yeah, sorry, that's not backed up by data at all
Lol there are no “scientific” conclusory facts about these things, selection bias is far too great for “data” to tell you much. People are still arguing about whether the “data” tells you divorce is even bad for kids! (It is). You have to use your observational skills and knowledge about the world
I'm sorry, you seem really uneducated about the sciences. There is in fact tons of research that looks at the impacts of divorce. There is plenty of scientific quantitative and qualitative data over decades, and most of it clearly shows that the majority of children of divorce do not suffer severe long term impacts. It's pretty clear. I'm sorry you don't know what research is in this field.
I’m a PhD social scientist who is very familiar with this research. It is highly inconclusive because it is impossible to adjust for the numerous differences between families who divorce and families who do not. The simple correlations show that divorce is a disaster for kids - worse than the death of a parent, one of the worst things that can happen. On average children of divorced families perform much worse in almost every dimension of life than children from intact families. However the preexisting differences between families who divorce and families who don’t are so great that it’s very difficult verging on impossible to tell what would have happened to those kids had their parents stayed together. It’s for this reason that one shouldn’t expect the “data” to magically answer this question.
My own interpretation of the weight of the evidence is that it’s likely divorce is pretty bad for kids - if you look at the large absolute disadvantages associated with being a child of divorced parents, even for kids from otherwise advantaged families, it’s hard to imagine it’s all a selection bias. In addition common sense and the testimony of children of divorce supports this view. But the impact of divorce is probably pretty heterogenous across individual families. Ironically (or perhaps not) there’s evidence that it’s children from families who were already most disadvantaged / high risk who probably suffer least from divorce
Anonymous
03/05/2023 21:57
Subject: Re:Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:It is better that these kids never get born to such parents. They are cursed to have such parents.
+1
Anonymous
03/05/2023 21:48
Subject: Re:Best age for child to have parents divorce?
It is better that these kids never get born to such parents. They are cursed to have such parents.
Anonymous
03/05/2023 21:47
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
In Utero.
Anonymous
03/05/2023 21:44
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences
Yeah, sorry, that's not backed up by data at all
Lol there are no “scientific” conclusory facts about these things, selection bias is far too great for “data” to tell you much. People are still arguing about whether the “data” tells you divorce is even bad for kids! (It is). You have to use your observational skills and knowledge about the world
I'm sorry, you seem really uneducated about the sciences. There is in fact tons of research that looks at the impacts of divorce. There is plenty of scientific quantitative and qualitative data over decades, and most of it clearly shows that the majority of children of divorce do not suffer severe long term impacts. It's pretty clear. I'm sorry you don't know what research is in this field.
Anonymous
03/05/2023 21:44
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences
Yeah, sorry, that's not backed up by data at all
Lol there are no “scientific” conclusory facts about these things, selection bias is far too great for “data” to tell you much. People are still arguing about whether the “data” tells you divorce is even bad for kids! (It is). You have to use your observational skills and knowledge about the world[/quote
I'm sorry, you seem really uneducated about the sciences. There is in fact tons of research that looks at the impacts of divorce. There is plenty of scientific quantitative and qualitative data over decades, and most of it clearly shows that the majority of children of divorce do not suffer severe long term impacts. It's pretty clear. I'm sorry you don't know what research is in this field.
Anonymous
03/05/2023 21:37
Subject: Best age for child to have parents divorce?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The younger the better. Any time between about 7 and 25 is bad. Middle school or close to it (ages 10 to 15) is a total disaster and you are risking severe psychological consequences
research please?
it is MUCH more common to hear adults say they wished their parents had not stayed togethe, than that they wish they had not divorced.
But they don’t have the opposite situation to compare it to. They may think they wish their parents divorced, but how do they really know what it’s like?