Anonymous wrote:Sounds fake and forced

It’s only fake and forced if the person saying it doesn’t mean it at all. If someone cooks your dinner or cleans up the kitchen, aren’t you the least bit grateful that someone else did those things and you didn’t have to?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I thank each other for everything, including cooking dinner (he thanks me) and cleaning up dinner (I thank him). When he does cook dinner, I always thank him even though I don't particularly like it when he cooks; and I always clean and he thanks me.

There are a lot DH and I get wrong, but this is one thing we get right. We thank each other for taking out the trash, doing laundry, handling dinner and homework and bedtime if one of us has to work late, etc.

Why?

Nobody likes to perform boring, menial, invisible, thankless work. When you perform a task, even though it would have been a lot more fun to use your time doing something else, and someone thanks you, they’re letting you know that your labor didn’t go unnoticed. They’re acknowledging that your actions benefited them. It makes life’s minuscule sacrifices feel worthwhile.

I don’t expect this, but it’s nice to get a genuine compliment. On the flip side, it bothers me if he or the kids are disrespectful about dinner (this again?). Planning and prepping is a lot of work, so while I am open to feedback… it should come in a respectful way.

Anonymous wrote:If you cook, do you expect your DH to say "this taste great!" or some form of verbal appreciation for making dinner? Just wondering if I'm expecting too much?

I Donita expect it however since our kids are grown dh does this and I am thrilled he does

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I thank each other for everything, including cooking dinner (he thanks me) and cleaning up dinner (I thank him). When he does cook dinner, I always thank him even though I don't particularly like it when he cooks; and I always clean and he thanks me.

There are a lot DH and I get wrong, but this is one thing we get right. We thank each other for taking out the trash, doing laundry, handling dinner and homework and bedtime if one of us has to work late, etc.

Why?

Because gratitude and acknowledgment are good building blocks of love, respect and connection? Are you OK?

Diluted gratitude are the opposite of love and respect.

Funny, I thought the opposite of love was hate or indifference, and the opposite of respect disrespect.

Me too please thank me more . My wife takes me for granted

I wish they would thank me.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds fake and forced

When DH makes grilled cheese, salad and tomato soup for me and the kids, I do not lavish him with praise as if he is a Voltaggio brother gracing me with a five-course tasting menu. But hey, he got home first, he helped the kids with homework, and I get to roll in the house and sit down to dinner. I appreciate that. I say thank you.

I honestly think it might take more effort for me to not thank something than to acknowledge what they did for me.

Sounds fake and forced

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I thank each other for everything, including cooking dinner (he thanks me) and cleaning up dinner (I thank him). When he does cook dinner, I always thank him even though I don't particularly like it when he cooks; and I always clean and he thanks me.

There are a lot DH and I get wrong, but this is one thing we get right. We thank each other for taking out the trash, doing laundry, handling dinner and homework and bedtime if one of us has to work late, etc.

Why?

Because gratitude and acknowledgment are good building blocks of love, respect and connection? Are you OK?

Diluted gratitude are the opposite of love and respect.

I had an ex-boyfriend who made this argument. He said that he didn't like to say he loved me, or give me compliments or gratitude, "too often" because it would dilute the impact. Like he thought if he told me I looked nice most days, then I wouldn't understand the compliment if he told me I looked particularly good on another day. Or if he said "I love you" everyday, it would just become reflex and lose meaning.

That relationship didn't work out, and now I'm married to someone who says he loves me multiple times a day, tells me I look nice several times a week, and says thank you almost anytime I do something that benefits him (thanks for cooking, thanks for taking the trash out, thanks for gassing up the car, thanks for booking those flights, thanks for staying home with DD when she was sick, thanks for making sure the dog got his shots, etc.).

It's so much better this way, and I never take my DH's love or gratitude for granted. The opposite. Because we are both vocal with each other about how we feel and in appreciating one another, we are both more aware on a daily basis of the value of our relationship and how we'd rather be together than apart. I can't imagine going back to a situation where my partner doles out compliments and gratitude stingily, like it's a finite resource he doesn't want to waste. So strange and sad.

Gratitude is free. The more you practice it, the more you have.

I don't expect it, but he always does. And he says it even if the dinner was sub par. He's a great husband and I promise he doesn't BS me ever except on this point.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds ridiculous though

So that's how you raise your children? That it is "ridiculous" to thank people for doing things for them? How very interesting. What dear little angels you must have, with the shining example you provide and all.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds ridiculous though

I really don’t understand this mindset. Ridiculous to thank someone for cooking dinner? That should be a reflex IMO.

Yes. Its quick and not fake. Sometimes he forgets. I thank hom for cleaning up and doing laundry or whatever. The kids now thank us for making dinner sometimes. We thank them for cleaning up. Even if its their usual chore. It helps and positivity is good. We also do things for each other not expecting a direct thanks every time.

It sounds ridiculous though