Anonymous
02/27/2023 10:08
Subject: Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What's stopping you from going for a walk and making DD come with you?
I work till 6, then start making dinner, cleaning, and ferrying kids to music lessons, math tutors, helping with homework. Do you know any working parents???
If I go to the gym it’s at 5am or 10pm.
You wonder why your kids don’t exercise when you don’t exercise yourself. 🙄
Stop making excuses. There is absolutely 30 minutes in your evening for a walk. You just don’t want to.
+1
Replace "i don't have time to exercise" with "exercise is not a priority for me." Because we all find time for things that are important to us.
And yes, we both work full time, have commutes and spend a lot of time cooking dinner and driving our kids around. Still exercise is important to us. My kids swim 2-4 days a week and play weekend sports.
As for my husband and I, we both exercise at 5am on the week days. We also do things like walk while our kid is at a swim meet or music lesson, go to the gym at least one day on the weekend.
I firmly believe if something is important to you, you will find the time to do it. If it it not important to you then you will find the excuses.
How do you wake up at 5am, we don't get to bed until midnight by the time dinner is done, kitchen cleaned, etc.
Do you have a weekly cleaner to get to bed earlier?
I actually get up at 4 because one kid has early morning swim practice and needs to be at the pool by 4:30
. I get to the gym around 4:45. To manage this and still get 7-8 hours of sleep I am in bed by 8:30 and asleep 9pm at the latest. I do not watch any TV (save TV for when I do cardio at the gym). Instead I read before bed as it helps me fall asleep faster. My kids also go to bed on the early side.
No cleaner and no local family.
I get home around 5. Cooking dinner and cleaning up takes 2 hour max. I am also a pretty efficient cook and pick recipes that are easier on weeknights. We are done with dinner by 6:30 and have a clean kitchen by 7pm. My husband also helps with clean up. Some nights one of us is picking up a kid at an activity at 6 pm.
How does dinner and clean up take you 6 hours? Seriously? You said you get home at 6.
Anonymous
02/27/2023 10:07
Subject: Re:Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think you need a family reset personally. Are your older kids watching their K age sibling every day ? That’s not fair. Can either of you do anything to go into work earlier and get home earlier?
Sorry kinder is in ext day — they get recess and play in aftercare as well as do red sports in weekend.
It’s just once you hit middle school — no recess, some gym, and lots of unstructured afternoon time. Sports at school were an easy pick.
Why can’t they do sports after school/through school now? A different one than whatever they got cut from
They don’t like what is offered. I don’t want to accept this excuse; spouse is like whatever they weren’t ever going to be an athlete so doesn’t really matter. But I think this kind of fitness habit should start young (we are already too late, probably).
So what sports DO they want to do if not what if offered by school? It honestly sounds like they don’t want to do anything really. If that’s the case, then yes, they must pick something through school, no exception. If they are super interested in trying something not offered by school, then I would either arrange a car pool or hire someone to help with after school transport. But I wouldn’t put that extra money and effort into it unless they really wanted something specific not offered through school. Not just, oh I guess I’ll try this. It that is the attitude then they can pick from school options
Anonymous
02/27/2023 09:52
Subject: Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
Anonymous wrote:I like how everyone is just blaming us and attacking us rather than offering some solution for before 6pm fitness for the kids.
There are tons of solutions on this thread but you clearly don’t want solutions, you want excuses. It’s not a priority for your family - I’m not sure what you’re looking for from all of us. Would you like me to volunteer to run your kids around the block before 6 pm?
Anonymous
02/27/2023 09:49
Subject: Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
Anonymous wrote:I like how everyone is just blaming us and attacking us rather than offering some solution for before 6pm fitness for the kids.
You have an excuse for every solution that’s been offered; you spend time on other extracurricular activities; you’ve made choices that make prioritizing fitness harder than it has to be.
There is no magic here. It’s a priority, or it’s not. You find ways to fit it in, or you don’t.
Anonymous
02/27/2023 09:47
Subject: Re:Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
Anonymous wrote:I am of the opinion that dcum parents are way, way to concerned about “triggering” this or that and believe far too much in the importance of modeling without saying anything. Your kid has your genes. Just be honest. Do research together on how much exercise is necessary for general health. Be honest about your failures and struggles. Make plans, support each other. If eating is an issue, be honest about that and visit a nutritionist together.
I’ve always struggled with my weight. There’s a very good chance my kids will too. What I can tell you I will NOT do is pretend that it’s shameful or a secret or something that has been “triggered” by someone saying the wrong thing. I don’t approach doing math homework that way or anything else. It’s just another part of the work of being alive and it’s harder for some people than others. People don’t try to “model” their kids out of ADHD without saying anything lest they “trigger” it.
Oh PS I forgot to add, I would require a sport or an after school workout 3x/week. There’s always a sport available and if not you can help her get access to the school gym or set up at home and there are oodles of video programs available. Or classes at a gym, whatever, depending on her age and autonomy. It’s not bad to just require it and explain why.
Anonymous
02/27/2023 09:44
Subject: Re:Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
I am of the opinion that dcum parents are way, way to concerned about “triggering” this or that and believe far too much in the importance of modeling without saying anything. Your kid has your genes. Just be honest. Do research together on how much exercise is necessary for general health. Be honest about your failures and struggles. Make plans, support each other. If eating is an issue, be honest about that and visit a nutritionist together.
I’ve always struggled with my weight. There’s a very good chance my kids will too. What I can tell you I will NOT do is pretend that it’s shameful or a secret or something that has been “triggered” by someone saying the wrong thing. I don’t approach doing math homework that way or anything else. It’s just another part of the work of being alive and it’s harder for some people than others. People don’t try to “model” their kids out of ADHD without saying anything lest they “trigger” it.
I’ve always struggled with my weight. There’s a very good chance my kids will too. What I can tell you I will NOT do is pretend that it’s shameful or a secret or something that has been “triggered” by someone saying the wrong thing. I don’t approach doing math homework that way or anything else. It’s just another part of the work of being alive and it’s harder for some people than others. People don’t try to “model” their kids out of ADHD without saying anything lest they “trigger” it.
Anonymous
02/27/2023 09:42
Subject: Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
I like how everyone is just blaming us and attacking us rather than offering some solution for before 6pm fitness for the kids.
Anonymous
02/27/2023 09:38
Subject: Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
OP, it’s not a priority for your family. Like you, DH and I have three kids and work FT. We have no helpful local family. Still, I work out daily and DH ~5 times/week. We walk the kids to school and from aftercare. The kids have assorted sports practices throughout the week, varying depending on the season.
The difference? Fitness is a high, high priority. We deliberately avoided “demanding” jobs with long hours and long commutes. Usually the people who have those kinds of jobs have options for something more flexible, but they choose otherwise. Same with housing, options for school, etc. When fitness is a priority, it’s a priority.
Also, why do you need to stay up until midnight cleaning? Every day? What are you doing that your house is that messy? Get your kids to help clean up, clean as you go, etc. No, we don’t have house cleaners. You have time for music lessons and a crap ton of homework - those are your priorities. Fine, but don’t act like those of us who prioritize exercise for ourselves and our kids have some kind of magical Time Machine. We don’t.
The difference? Fitness is a high, high priority. We deliberately avoided “demanding” jobs with long hours and long commutes. Usually the people who have those kinds of jobs have options for something more flexible, but they choose otherwise. Same with housing, options for school, etc. When fitness is a priority, it’s a priority.
Also, why do you need to stay up until midnight cleaning? Every day? What are you doing that your house is that messy? Get your kids to help clean up, clean as you go, etc. No, we don’t have house cleaners. You have time for music lessons and a crap ton of homework - those are your priorities. Fine, but don’t act like those of us who prioritize exercise for ourselves and our kids have some kind of magical Time Machine. We don’t.
Anonymous
02/27/2023 09:35
Subject: Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is something I think about. My 6th grader is not athletic at all. He is uncoordinated and due to medical issues lacks indurance.
I think small steps are easier - you will have to make this a priority.
The weather is getting nicer. Come home from work and do a 15 minute family walk. Just do it. If they don’t go with you, go alone. It is 15 minutes. GO. Rain or shine. You can do 15 minutes. My 6th grader goes with me. We’ve been at this a year now he will ask for walks on the weekend occasionally.
From there I’ve added random classes at the Rec centers. Once a week on the weekend he has some random class that requires movement - even private swim or yoga. Like the poster above - he chooses or I do. Usually I do. He must do the class before screen time. During the summer there will be even more classesto try. Kayaking, fishing, hiking, your kids are old enough for adult classes.
I workout everyday. I get up at 6am and do a workout video. My kids see me do that. I am not skinny but I am trying and my kids see that.
Seriously, start small - 15 minute walks. Turn off the Wi-Fi. You can do it.
We had a lot of stuff this weekend to do. But I prioritize those walks. Sometime we don’t even talk. We just walk. Today, 30 minute walk around the neighborhood. It is better than nothing.
Do your other kids go with you to? Getting all 3 to go at any random time is not trivial -- lots of pushback, busy with homework, hungry for dinner, etc -- getting home from work is the worst part of my day and now coaxing 3 kids to walk rather than eat dinner will be interesting.
Its a really nice idea, but everyone keeps saying "do the exercise at the worst part of the day" -- is that really the only option??
NP yes, it’s the only option. You need to be involved, lead by example, and show that moving your body is a priority. Frankly, it should be a priority for you and your spouse as you age as well. Your whole family needs to start moving. Daily Exercise is as important as eating and sleeping in our family and comes before cleaning the house. You can’t suddenly tell a high schooler to go move their body on their own when you don’t move yourself and have never shown this to be important. We’ve done family walks since birth and still get pushback — we tell the kids tough luck, we’re doing it and you don’t get screens/video games etc if you don’t move your feet.
We don't let them use screens or video games during the week anyways; really they get home and its dinner, homework, music practice, and bed - except running around a kid to music lessons or math tutoring. And if there WAS a team sport that met at 7:00PM I would totally sign up my kid for it, but we haven't found many.
Anonymous
02/27/2023 09:33
Subject: Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
Anonymous wrote:Are any of your kids overweight?
No, but my whole family is overweight so I worry for there genes (spouse and family are slim though)
Anonymous
02/27/2023 09:32
Subject: Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What's stopping you from going for a walk and making DD come with you?
I work till 6, then start making dinner, cleaning, and ferrying kids to music lessons, math tutors, helping with homework. Do you know any working parents???
If I go to the gym it’s at 5am or 10pm.
You wonder why your kids don’t exercise when you don’t exercise yourself. 🙄
Stop making excuses. There is absolutely 30 minutes in your evening for a walk. You just don’t want to.
+1
Replace "i don't have time to exercise" with "exercise is not a priority for me." Because we all find time for things that are important to us.
And yes, we both work full time, have commutes and spend a lot of time cooking dinner and driving our kids around. Still exercise is important to us. My kids swim 2-4 days a week and play weekend sports.
As for my husband and I, we both exercise at 5am on the week days. We also do things like walk while our kid is at a swim meet or music lesson, go to the gym at least one day on the weekend.
I firmly believe if something is important to you, you will find the time to do it. If it it not important to you then you will find the excuses.
How do you wake up at 5am, we don't get to bed until midnight by the time dinner is done, kitchen cleaned, etc.
Do you have a weekly cleaner to get to bed earlier?
Anonymous
02/27/2023 09:31
Subject: Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What's stopping you from going for a walk and making DD come with you?
I work till 6, then start making dinner, cleaning, and ferrying kids to music lessons, math tutors, helping with homework. Do you know any working parents???
If I go to the gym it’s at 5am or 10pm.
You wonder why your kids don’t exercise when you don’t exercise yourself. 🙄
Stop making excuses. There is absolutely 30 minutes in your evening for a walk. You just don’t want to.
I do go for walks during my lunch break, I just can't do it at end of day when I'm tied to my laptop and then readying dinner/picking up kids from extended day.
Anonymous
02/27/2023 08:22
Subject: Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What's stopping you from going for a walk and making DD come with you?
I work till 6, then start making dinner, cleaning, and ferrying kids to music lessons, math tutors, helping with homework. Do you know any working parents???
If I go to the gym it’s at 5am or 10pm.
You wonder why your kids don’t exercise when you don’t exercise yourself. 🙄
Stop making excuses. There is absolutely 30 minutes in your evening for a walk. You just don’t want to.
+1
Replace "i don't have time to exercise" with "exercise is not a priority for me." Because we all find time for things that are important to us.
And yes, we both work full time, have commutes and spend a lot of time cooking dinner and driving our kids around. Still exercise is important to us. My kids swim 2-4 days a week and play weekend sports.
As for my husband and I, we both exercise at 5am on the week days. We also do things like walk while our kid is at a swim meet or music lesson, go to the gym at least one day on the weekend.
I firmly believe if something is important to you, you will find the time to do it. If it it not important to you then you will find the excuses.
Anonymous
02/27/2023 07:57
Subject: Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
Are any of your kids overweight?
Anonymous
02/27/2023 07:50
Subject: Install fitness in children when not fit yourselves
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is something I think about. My 6th grader is not athletic at all. He is uncoordinated and due to medical issues lacks indurance.
I think small steps are easier - you will have to make this a priority.
The weather is getting nicer. Come home from work and do a 15 minute family walk. Just do it. If they don’t go with you, go alone. It is 15 minutes. GO. Rain or shine. You can do 15 minutes. My 6th grader goes with me. We’ve been at this a year now he will ask for walks on the weekend occasionally.
From there I’ve added random classes at the Rec centers. Once a week on the weekend he has some random class that requires movement - even private swim or yoga. Like the poster above - he chooses or I do. Usually I do. He must do the class before screen time. During the summer there will be even more classesto try. Kayaking, fishing, hiking, your kids are old enough for adult classes.
I workout everyday. I get up at 6am and do a workout video. My kids see me do that. I am not skinny but I am trying and my kids see that.
Seriously, start small - 15 minute walks. Turn off the Wi-Fi. You can do it.
We had a lot of stuff this weekend to do. But I prioritize those walks. Sometime we don’t even talk. We just walk. Today, 30 minute walk around the neighborhood. It is better than nothing.
Do your other kids go with you to? Getting all 3 to go at any random time is not trivial -- lots of pushback, busy with homework, hungry for dinner, etc -- getting home from work is the worst part of my day and now coaxing 3 kids to walk rather than eat dinner will be interesting.
Its a really nice idea, but everyone keeps saying "do the exercise at the worst part of the day" -- is that really the only option??
NP yes, it’s the only option. You need to be involved, lead by example, and show that moving your body is a priority. Frankly, it should be a priority for you and your spouse as you age as well. Your whole family needs to start moving. Daily Exercise is as important as eating and sleeping in our family and comes before cleaning the house. You can’t suddenly tell a high schooler to go move their body on their own when you don’t move yourself and have never shown this to be important. We’ve done family walks since birth and still get pushback — we tell the kids tough luck, we’re doing it and you don’t get screens/video games etc if you don’t move your feet.