I co-slept with my grandmother in a twin bed at MY insistence. In a twin bed (God rest her beautiful soul).

She would have never insisted. OP, do not indulge this.

The insisting part seems off. I think if we're short on beds it's fine for children under a certain age to sleep with grandma, but it would be a logistical thing, not a "we always do this so grandma can snuggle all night" thing.

But hey, my youngest is still in elementary school and I'm already going through baby withdrawal. I'm sure I will take all the snuggles I can get if I'm blessed with grandkids.

Creepy. I would say no.

This strikes me as weird and creepy but bedsharing is just not my style.

This seems weird to me and I cosseront with my kid. Something isn’t right, it’s not your kids jobs to comfort grandma when they visit.

My MIL sexually abused my DH in this scenario, so there is absolutely no way that either of us would allow this. You shouldn't either. Even if she is personally harmless (put aside how literally everyone, including kids, can have sexual feelings during sleep that kids in particular lack the experience to interpret)--it's teaching your children about where boundaries go and the message it is giving them about that is going to set them up as easy prey.

No. Hard no. Do not pass go, just no.

Anonymous wrote:Most people in our culture have only seen grandparents bed sharing in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

I don’t think summoning Roald Dahl nightmares is the way to go here…

My elementary school kids love to sleep in the big bed with grandma! In our house and hers. They watch movies late on the ipad etc…it’s fun.
But l would NOT force it if the kids don’t want to. In our case it’s the kids who kick grandpa out to snuggle with grandma!

Anonymous wrote:snored!!! not scored lol

Lol. I was envisioning the 11pm booty call arrival and you had to go to the guest room…

That’s just weird Op, unless you live in some multi generation hut where all 10 people get out mats and sleep on the communal floor every night.

I wouldn’t want my kids after age 4 thinking sharing a bed an adult is normal or kosher at all. I feel the same about kids sitting on adult men’s laps or greeting their legs stroked by grandpa after a swim. Bad precedent for a manipulative coach, teacher or less savory adult who attempts it with ill intent.

How old are your kids? My daughter used to always say she wanted to have a sleepover with grandma when we were visiting so she would suggest that the boys have a sleepover and so do the girls. My mom loved that and always brought her in. My dad (grandpa) said no thanks and would go to a different room instead of sharing a room with my son, which was fine with my son.

I think my daughter grew out of that by around kindergarten and my mom was never the one to initiate.

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same grandmother who wants to shower with her granddaughter? I suspect you are a troll.

What? Where is this thread?

Weird. Don't let your kids sleep over.

Is this the same grandmother who wants to shower with her granddaughter? I suspect you are a troll.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds weird to me and I would not encourage it.

I agree.

+1. Something that’s fine for parents to do, not for grandparents. My ILs insisted on their grandchildren (DH’s brother’s kids) sharing their bed when they spent the night until they were about 10. It’s one of several reasons I won’t let my kids spend the night there. It’s a little weird, a little creepy, and a little boundary stomping (at least to me, maybe not to everybody). I’m all for letting my kids into my bed when they want (so I’m not against bed-sharing) but I am against other people demanding my kids be in their bed.

I think most parents would agree with you that it's ok for kids to share their parent's bed. However, I personally know of three young children who were molested by their fathers after grooming them to accept that bed intimacy with a parent is just fine, nothing to be afraid of. Of the three kids I know that this happened to one was 3, two were about 5, all from different families. All three of the fathers spent at least 5 years in prison as a result of the abuse. These are just cases of people I know personally! Just imagine how many more there are that I don't know. The risk is too great and kids need to be taught by their parents at a young age not to accept bedtime intimacy, at least with men. It could be a dad, a step-dad, a grandfather, a brother, a cousin, an uncle. Kids must be protected from this because it is life altering when it happens.