Anonymous
Post 02/28/2023 07:06     Subject: kids being mean to my four year old : (
I would have found this hard to watch too, but developmentally it is normal for kids to experiment with excluding behavior at this age. Doesn't make it nice or right, but it is something they are learning about.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2023 12:21     Subject: kids being mean to my four year old : (
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I just came back from a birthday party that my 4.5 year old son was invited to. There were 3 other boys from his preschool class who seemed to get on really well together while my son just played alone. At one point the three boys were playing in the bounce house and wouldn't let him in, saying it's a secret club. Then I was pushing my son on the swing and one of them came up to him and said "Can you get off the swing? It's mine and I want it back" I feel a little heartbroken that this is going to be a glimpse of the future, that there's something weird about him that they pick up on and exclude him. My son isn't that interested in sports (maybe he's young and that can change) and still sounds like a baby when he speaks (he's in speech) and these other kids look and sound a lot older, but are the same age. I feel so sad! He's my second and my first son was always so social and magnetic with other kids so this is a new feeling. Anything I should do? Should I talk to the teacher? I am just so sad after watching them together.


You should have told the 4 yr old off.

"No. You are being mean and rude, Timmy. You are being bad by being unkind and horrible to your friends. You cannot have the swing because you also did not allow Larlo to play in the bounce house. Do you like be not included? Let this be your lesson. If you are mean to Larlo again, we will report to your school that you are being bad."

If they run to mommy, then it is great because then you can tell the grown ups that the kids were being not inclusive.




This is so over the top and weird. Like parenting advice from a Chatbot.

OP the bounce house thing doesn't sound egregious, unless they kept your kid out for the whole party. If it was one time, it was a game, and it doesn't sound targeted. The kid asking for a turn on the swing doesn't sound rude at all - you can just say "we'll let you know when our turn is over" or ask your kid "do you want to give Timmy his turn now?"

Your kid is a little behind. It's not the end of the world, and I agree with the PPs saying these three particular boys are not going to make or break his social prospects. I'd also say you can take a step back from obsessing over whether the problem is that he's not enough into "boy" stuff like Superman or sports - I think it's much more likely that it's that he cannot communicate well yet. Don't dress up a speech delay in gender norms.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2023 12:15     Subject: kids being mean to my four year old : (
I have a 4 year old boy and I really don’t know what you mean that he isn’t “into sports.” My kid is a major stereotype little dude but he also isn’t into sports because what does that really mean for a 4 year old? Like running or jumping at the playground? I think your feelings might be attributing a lot more reason than I would give to the actions of preK kids.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 21:33     Subject: kids being mean to my four year old : (
Switch preschools. That is unacceptable behavior and the teachers shouldn't be allowing it. I wouldn't want my child and those boys and honestly that bullying behavior seems unusual for 3 years old. Be thankful you observed it and get out of that situation.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 18:24     Subject: Re:kids being mean to my four year old : (
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my kid was being a little shit like those kids I would want to know.

You’re the exception.


I would want to know, too


NP. I have 7yo and 2yo DDs, and I absolutely would want to know, too.

I think another PP mentioned something along these lines, but this thread is yet another example of the lack of empathy in people nowadays. No wonder the world is such a mess. Don't raise entitled, selfish jerks, please.

These days? Kids have had exclusionary “secret clubs” since forever. That doesn’t make it ok, but it’s certainly not new and it’s not a result of bad parenting. Telling the parents is fine, you don’t have to be mean about it: Sally, Larlo wants to play in the xyz thing, too. Would you please remind Mikey that we are all sharing it?


I think if you see it you should just talk to the kid directly about it instead of asking the parents to "remind" their kid of something. I would not appreciate being talked to that way because it is infantilizing. But, if someone kindly reminds the kids in real time, that would be ok. It's all in the delivery.

There are too many parents that don’t like other parents saying anything that might be considered parenting or disciplining. Even now on this site there’s someone complaining about a SIL disciplining their kid by saying things like this. I don’t think the word reminding is infantilizing, it’s an acknowledgement that of course the kid has been told and knows he’s supposed to share but has forgotten that fact at this moment and needs a reminder. Because he is a kid.


You can't win then because I would be annoyed if you came up to me and said "do remind Billy that the toys are for sharing". So you will probably piss people off either way. If you came and said that to me I'd roll my eyes and not take orders from you.

So you’d support your kid trying not to let anyone else use the public bounce house? I mean, if that seems like a reasonable response, I guess that explains your kid acting like a jerk, but at least you can give a kid who is being childish the benefit of the doubt since they are actually a child. No such excuse for you.


Well, since this has never happened to me clearly I'm doing something right, or at least not friends with socially awkward people like you with poor communication skills. But if you come at me with the sanctimonious crap I'm not going to respond in a way you would like. Do remember to be less of an a-hole when talking to other parents at the play ground, if that's how you like to be spoken to. Set a good example first.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 17:21     Subject: Re:kids being mean to my four year old : (
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my kid was being a little shit like those kids I would want to know.

You’re the exception.


I would want to know, too


NP. I have 7yo and 2yo DDs, and I absolutely would want to know, too.

I think another PP mentioned something along these lines, but this thread is yet another example of the lack of empathy in people nowadays. No wonder the world is such a mess. Don't raise entitled, selfish jerks, please.

These days? Kids have had exclusionary “secret clubs” since forever. That doesn’t make it ok, but it’s certainly not new and it’s not a result of bad parenting. Telling the parents is fine, you don’t have to be mean about it: Sally, Larlo wants to play in the xyz thing, too. Would you please remind Mikey that we are all sharing it?


I think if you see it you should just talk to the kid directly about it instead of asking the parents to "remind" their kid of something. I would not appreciate being talked to that way because it is infantilizing. But, if someone kindly reminds the kids in real time, that would be ok. It's all in the delivery.

There are too many parents that don’t like other parents saying anything that might be considered parenting or disciplining. Even now on this site there’s someone complaining about a SIL disciplining their kid by saying things like this. I don’t think the word reminding is infantilizing, it’s an acknowledgement that of course the kid has been told and knows he’s supposed to share but has forgotten that fact at this moment and needs a reminder. Because he is a kid.


You can't win then because I would be annoyed if you came up to me and said "do remind Billy that the toys are for sharing". So you will probably piss people off either way. If you came and said that to me I'd roll my eyes and not take orders from you.

So you’d support your kid trying not to let anyone else use the public bounce house? I mean, if that seems like a reasonable response, I guess that explains your kid acting like a jerk, but at least you can give a kid who is being childish the benefit of the doubt since they are actually a child. No such excuse for you.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 17:14     Subject: Re:kids being mean to my four year old : (
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my kid was being a little shit like those kids I would want to know.

You’re the exception.


I would want to know, too


NP. I have 7yo and 2yo DDs, and I absolutely would want to know, too.

I think another PP mentioned something along these lines, but this thread is yet another example of the lack of empathy in people nowadays. No wonder the world is such a mess. Don't raise entitled, selfish jerks, please.

These days? Kids have had exclusionary “secret clubs” since forever. That doesn’t make it ok, but it’s certainly not new and it’s not a result of bad parenting. Telling the parents is fine, you don’t have to be mean about it: Sally, Larlo wants to play in the xyz thing, too. Would you please remind Mikey that we are all sharing it?


I think if you see it you should just talk to the kid directly about it instead of asking the parents to "remind" their kid of something. I would not appreciate being talked to that way because it is infantilizing. But, if someone kindly reminds the kids in real time, that would be ok. It's all in the delivery.

There are too many parents that don’t like other parents saying anything that might be considered parenting or disciplining. Even now on this site there’s someone complaining about a SIL disciplining their kid by saying things like this. I don’t think the word reminding is infantilizing, it’s an acknowledgement that of course the kid has been told and knows he’s supposed to share but has forgotten that fact at this moment and needs a reminder. Because he is a kid.


You can't win then because I would be annoyed if you came up to me and said "do remind Billy that the toys are for sharing". So you will probably piss people off either way. If you came and said that to me I'd roll my eyes and not take orders from you.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 14:06     Subject: Re:kids being mean to my four year old : (
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my kid was being a little shit like those kids I would want to know.

You’re the exception.


I would want to know, too


NP. I have 7yo and 2yo DDs, and I absolutely would want to know, too.

I think another PP mentioned something along these lines, but this thread is yet another example of the lack of empathy in people nowadays. No wonder the world is such a mess. Don't raise entitled, selfish jerks, please.

These days? Kids have had exclusionary “secret clubs” since forever. That doesn’t make it ok, but it’s certainly not new and it’s not a result of bad parenting. Telling the parents is fine, you don’t have to be mean about it: Sally, Larlo wants to play in the xyz thing, too. Would you please remind Mikey that we are all sharing it?


I think if you see it you should just talk to the kid directly about it instead of asking the parents to "remind" their kid of something. I would not appreciate being talked to that way because it is infantilizing. But, if someone kindly reminds the kids in real time, that would be ok. It's all in the delivery.

There are too many parents that don’t like other parents saying anything that might be considered parenting or disciplining. Even now on this site there’s someone complaining about a SIL disciplining their kid by saying things like this. I don’t think the word reminding is infantilizing, it’s an acknowledgement that of course the kid has been told and knows he’s supposed to share but has forgotten that fact at this moment and needs a reminder. Because he is a kid.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 13:57     Subject: Re:kids being mean to my four year old : (
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my kid was being a little shit like those kids I would want to know.

You’re the exception.


I would want to know, too


NP. I have 7yo and 2yo DDs, and I absolutely would want to know, too.

I think another PP mentioned something along these lines, but this thread is yet another example of the lack of empathy in people nowadays. No wonder the world is such a mess. Don't raise entitled, selfish jerks, please.

These days? Kids have had exclusionary “secret clubs” since forever. That doesn’t make it ok, but it’s certainly not new and it’s not a result of bad parenting. Telling the parents is fine, you don’t have to be mean about it: Sally, Larlo wants to play in the xyz thing, too. Would you please remind Mikey that we are all sharing it?


I think if you see it you should just talk to the kid directly about it instead of asking the parents to "remind" their kid of something. I would not appreciate being talked to that way because it is infantilizing. But, if someone kindly reminds the kids in real time, that would be ok. It's all in the delivery.



I agree with this, but I am never comfortable doing it with kids I don’t know or don’t know well. I see other parents doing it from time to time and others go to the parents instead of their kids. Some parents exagerate (in my opinion) in defending their kids or even become aggressive (I have witnessed a mother getting extremely upset because a group of kids were playing with their younger daughter shovel in the sand part of the playground). Then sometimes parents don’t understand what happened because they were not paying attention, etc.

It’s hard…
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 13:41     Subject: Re:kids being mean to my four year old : (
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my kid was being a little shit like those kids I would want to know.

You’re the exception.


I would want to know, too


NP. I have 7yo and 2yo DDs, and I absolutely would want to know, too.

I think another PP mentioned something along these lines, but this thread is yet another example of the lack of empathy in people nowadays. No wonder the world is such a mess. Don't raise entitled, selfish jerks, please.

These days? Kids have had exclusionary “secret clubs” since forever. That doesn’t make it ok, but it’s certainly not new and it’s not a result of bad parenting. Telling the parents is fine, you don’t have to be mean about it: Sally, Larlo wants to play in the xyz thing, too. Would you please remind Mikey that we are all sharing it?


I think if you see it you should just talk to the kid directly about it instead of asking the parents to "remind" their kid of something. I would not appreciate being talked to that way because it is infantilizing. But, if someone kindly reminds the kids in real time, that would be ok. It's all in the delivery.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 13:15     Subject: Re:kids being mean to my four year old : (
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly if my kid was being a little shit like those kids I would want to know.

You’re the exception.


I would want to know, too


NP. I have 7yo and 2yo DDs, and I absolutely would want to know, too.

I think another PP mentioned something along these lines, but this thread is yet another example of the lack of empathy in people nowadays. No wonder the world is such a mess. Don't raise entitled, selfish jerks, please.

These days? Kids have had exclusionary “secret clubs” since forever. That doesn’t make it ok, but it’s certainly not new and it’s not a result of bad parenting. Telling the parents is fine, you don’t have to be mean about it: Sally, Larlo wants to play in the xyz thing, too. Would you please remind Mikey that we are all sharing it?
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 13:12     Subject: kids being mean to my four year old : (
Anonymous wrote:
Oh my gosh, how did I know op’s four year old was a boy? Mothers don’t pout over their daughters like this.

There are many, many posts about daughters being excluded and “mean girl” dynamics. WTF are you talking about?
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 13:10     Subject: kids being mean to my four year old : (
Have you had him evaluated?