Anonymous
02/16/2023 21:31
Subject: Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:That is awful, OP. Particularly the Phoenix place. Flat out lie. Table for 2. Then the other person is running late...oops! Could not make it.
I am short and no way could comfortably dine at a bar height table/stool/chair. Also on a business trip as lone female, I would not want to be hanging out for my dinner in a bar. Not safe. Guys drinking. Someone slips something in your drink. No thanks.
This PP has good advice, OP. Especially about how a woman seated alone at a bar, in some restaurants, might be assumed to be open to approaches by men. It happened to a friend of mine when she was doing a lot of business travel. She quickly learned to say no to being seated at a bar. She didn't like to say "table for two" since some places would keep pestering you along lines of "Are you still expecting the other party" blah blah. She said she started just walking up quickly and assertively to the host and saying immediately, "Table for ONE, please," not ever letting them get as far as asking stuff like "Just you tonight?" or "would you like to sit at the bar?"
Unless a restaurant is packed at the height of meal service and people are waiting for tables already, refusing to seat a solo patron at a table is nuts. It's arrogant. I hope you complained to that Phoenix restaurant via email afterward, OP, and were clear that you've spent money with them before but won't again, and will tell other frequent business travelers you know not to dine there, solo or otherwise. They need to hear that.
Agreed. When I used to travel for work I got very comfortable with marching right up to the host stand and stating with confidence, hello, table for one, please. Head off at the pass any “just one?” awkwardness or suggestions to sit at the bar.
Anonymous
02/16/2023 21:31
Subject: Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
I eat out alone regularly and have never been encouraged to sit at the bar although I do sometimes choose to sit there. How very weird! Stop eating at restaurants that do that. Sit at a table if you prefer or the bar if you want to.
Anonymous
02/16/2023 21:31
Subject: Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
It should always be a choice. People don’t like to drink, sometimes unfortunate assumptions are made about solo women sitting at a bar, and it really is a different and less private experience than sitting at a table. I would insist on sitting at a table and, if you’re not accommodated, leaving *and* sending a note to management/owners.
Anonymous
02/16/2023 21:30
Subject: Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s fair for one person to order an entree and water at a 2 top. If you tip for 2 then I think it’s fine.
Most travel policies don't allow that.
So plan ahead, go to the ATM, get some cash and add it.
Yay problem-solving!
Anonymous
02/16/2023 21:26
Subject: Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s fair for one person to order an entree and water at a 2 top. If you tip for 2 then I think it’s fine.
Omg. No. What’s the difference then with seating two people at a four top which happens allllll the time.
Raise your standards. Hospitality matters in a restaurant.
Servers make money by tips. Sitting two people at a four top is not fair to the server either.
I waited tables for 7 miserable years. You get what you get. Some nights are great and some are not. I’m a generous tipper when I hang out alone at a restaurant - unless you’re an entitled jerk who thinks I’m wasting their table and it shows.
+1 As a former server, you win some and you lose some. Some tables order everything on the menu, others order water and dawdle over a salad. It balances out.
Anonymous
02/16/2023 21:22
Subject: Re:Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
Anonymous wrote:I've never had a place say no if I ask to be seated at a table. I also make sure not to go to a super-busy restaurant, so they have tables to spare.
OP. have you tried asking for a table when they offer you a bar space? They aren't mind readers.
Different poster here. I have had trouble with people wanting me to sit at the bar and I have had to argue about it. I have back pain and it’s painful. Lupo Verde on 14th is really bad about that
Anonymous
02/16/2023 21:20
Subject: Re:Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
One of my favorite things about Europe is how completely acceptable and encouraged it is to eat alone. And sit. And sit.
Anonymous
02/16/2023 21:17
Subject: Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s fair for one person to order an entree and water at a 2 top. If you tip for 2 then I think it’s fine.
Omg. No. What’s the difference then with seating two people at a four top which happens allllll the time.
Raise your standards. Hospitality matters in a restaurant.
Servers make money by tips. Sitting two people at a four top is not fair to the server either.
I waited tables for 7 miserable years. You get what you get. Some nights are great and some are not. I’m a generous tipper when I hang out alone at a restaurant - unless you’re an entitled jerk who thinks I’m wasting their table and it shows.
Anonymous
02/16/2023 17:40
Subject: Re:Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
Anonymous wrote:I am a frequent solo female traveler, and I love to sit at the bar. Hate sitting at a table with an empty chair(s) across from me! But if you want a table, they should accommodate you. Many restaurants do seem to discriminate against solo diners—lots of places you can’t make a reservation for 1 on Resy or OpenTable. It’s annoying.
I've started leaving bad reviews on Yelp for those.
Anonymous
02/16/2023 17:24
Subject: Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s fair for one person to order an entree and water at a 2 top. If you tip for 2 then I think it’s fine.
Most travel policies don't allow that.
Then sit at the bar or “gasp” pay out of your own pocket.
I can't imagine going through life this meek and complacent. OP, you're allowed to have a preference and sit at a table at a restaurant you're paying for. Be kind but firm.
Anonymous
02/16/2023 17:16
Subject: Re:Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
I am a frequent solo female traveler, and I love to sit at the bar. Hate sitting at a table with an empty chair(s) across from me! But if you want a table, they should accommodate you. Many restaurants do seem to discriminate against solo diners—lots of places you can’t make a reservation for 1 on Resy or OpenTable. It’s annoying.
Anonymous
02/16/2023 17:15
Subject: Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
It's less work for them at the bar. As long as the place isn't packed though, they need to suck it up. I have never had a problem saying "Actually I really prefer a table" and then smiling.
Anonymous
02/16/2023 17:13
Subject: Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s fair for one person to order an entree and water at a 2 top. If you tip for 2 then I think it’s fine.
Life is not fair I have found.
I don't think it's fair for a mom and 2-3 kids to order cheap meals and/or share, and hog up a table for 4, when 4 adults would buy more expensive food, drinks, etc. and yet there is no table for them.
I hate this. DH is out of town frequently, and I avoid taking the kids out because of people like you.
Don’t feed the troll.
Anonymous
02/16/2023 17:10
Subject: Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s fair for one person to order an entree and water at a 2 top. If you tip for 2 then I think it’s fine.
Omg. No. What’s the difference then with seating two people at a four top which happens allllll the time.
Raise your standards. Hospitality matters in a restaurant.
Servers make money by tips. Sitting two people at a four top is not fair to the server either.
By that logic sitting teetotalers at a table isn’t fair to the server either. I occasionally travel solo for work and when I do I take advantage of being on per diem/temporarily kid-free to order a couple of fancy cocktails or some higher end wine. As a solo diner I’m also not looking going to linger for hours over my meal. The server is definitely making more of a profit from me than many of the larger tables he/she is serving.
Anonymous
02/16/2023 17:02
Subject: Am I obligated to sit at the bar?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s fair for one person to order an entree and water at a 2 top. If you tip for 2 then I think it’s fine.
Life is not fair I have found.
I don't think it's fair for a mom and 2-3 kids to order cheap meals and/or share, and hog up a table for 4, when 4 adults would buy more expensive food, drinks, etc. and yet there is no table for them.
I hate this. DH is out of town frequently, and I avoid taking the kids out because of people like you.