OP I wish my youngest would move home.

DS is a great guy however his maturity is taking long and his expenses are high in the city he lives in. Yes, he has a decent job.

Just for like a year so he could save money and have a strong cushion.

He just had a car accident and totaled the car (it was 10 years old so not a surprise) not his fault but still needed to replace. Between that and the lawyer because it was a multicar accident the police gave everyone a ticket ugh Yes in this particular state they do that.

Life is expensive and if we could help so they have a nest egg yeah I wouldn't mind at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS will be moving in May '23 after three years of staying with us from college graduation. He has a good high paying job with 300K in savings and we do not charge rent, food, utilities, car insurance, cell phone, etc...We have a guest house next to the main house so he stays there and has privacy so it works out. He will be moving to Charlotte NC in May to accept a new position in the same company. We will give him 400K so that he will be able to purchase a new home in Charlotte without having to get a loan. We will also buy him a new Toyota RAV4 to send him off his successful launch in life. Three years is a good time to leave.

Do you want a medal?

Poor person, don’t get triggered.

This is how generational wealth is created. The poster was being nice by sharing her secret. No one is stopping you from emulating it.

I’m not poor. I just saved my own money and bought my own house. I must be extremely poor.

Yes. The point is to save your own money and buy your own house. But, by staying with parents (who do not charge rent), your timeline gets compressed and you have more financial resiliency.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask your ACs if they would like to stay with you rent free to save money and have the comforts of home for a few years. They get to bank and invest their money.

No one will say no, if they get along with their parents and the family is not dysfunctional.

No one,

You be okay with your 60 year old DC at home?

Sure. Not a dysfunctional family and we have lots of space. We live in a huge house in DMV. And no, we are not downsizing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS will be moving in May '23 after three years of staying with us from college graduation. He has a good high paying job with 300K in savings and we do not charge rent, food, utilities, car insurance, cell phone, etc...We have a guest house next to the main house so he stays there and has privacy so it works out. He will be moving to Charlotte NC in May to accept a new position in the same company. We will give him 400K so that he will be able to purchase a new home in Charlotte without having to get a loan. We will also buy him a new Toyota RAV4 to send him off his successful launch in life. Three years is a good time to leave.

Do you want a medal?

Poor person, don’t get triggered.

This is how generational wealth is created. The poster was being nice by sharing her secret. No one is stopping you from emulating it.

I’m not poor. I just saved my own money and bought my own house. I must be extremely poor.

Ok. So what are you giving to your children? Nothing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask your ACs if they would like to stay with you rent free to save money and have the comforts of home for a few years. They get to bank and invest their money.

No one will say no, if they get along with their parents and the family is not dysfunctional.

No one,

You be okay with your 60 year old DC at home?

Yes. If the 60 year would want to live with me. Would they? It is natural for people to want their own space. Usually, the kids cannot wait to get away from their parents. So it requires a lot of understanding and boundaries for adults to share space. Most families have a lot of dysfunction where the kind of arrangement does not fly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS will be moving in May '23 after three years of staying with us from college graduation. He has a good high paying job with 300K in savings and we do not charge rent, food, utilities, car insurance, cell phone, etc...We have a guest house next to the main house so he stays there and has privacy so it works out. He will be moving to Charlotte NC in May to accept a new position in the same company. We will give him 400K so that he will be able to purchase a new home in Charlotte without having to get a loan. We will also buy him a new Toyota RAV4 to send him off his successful launch in life. Three years is a good time to leave.

Do you want a medal?

Poor person, don’t get triggered.

This is how generational wealth is created. The poster was being nice by sharing her secret. No one is stopping you from emulating it.

I’m not poor. I just saved my own money and bought my own house. I must be extremely poor.

Anonymous wrote:Ask your ACs if they would like to stay with you rent free to save money and have the comforts of home for a few years. They get to bank and invest their money.

No one will say no, if they get along with their parents and the family is not dysfunctional.

No one,

You be okay with your 60 year old DC at home?

Ask your ACs if they would like to stay with you rent free to save money and have the comforts of home for a few years. They get to bank and invest their money.

No one will say no, if they get along with their parents and the family is not dysfunctional.

No one,

Anonymous wrote:So many backseat mothers!

Thank God for them.

So many backseat mothers!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD wanted to move out, she has a good paying job and a good career in tech. But, we encouraged her to save her money and continue staying with us. Marriage is on the cards soon, and we do not want her to walk into her marriage broke.

So she’s never going to live on her own?

Why should she? She has already lived away from home through undergrad and grad.

But was she supporting herself? I agree with pps that having that time when you are full-time employed and living independently is important before living together/marriage.

Let’s see…no, she did not earn money during HS by doing a paying job, as she was always busy with internships and volunteer work. In college she got a generous merit scholarship so I think of it as supporting herself. (Even though we had saved for her college, we had to pay only a very small amount). She made some money in paid internships in college that she used for traveling as well as opened up a sandbox brokerage account.

She is in a high paying career path and quite aware about what she wants in a spouse, in her career and her family life. Economic emancipation is important for her above all. Mama has not raised a fool. But, I understand that there is a cultural component to it too.

I understand not wanting your daughter to enter a marriage with empty pockets. It doesn't sound like this is the case with your DD. Since she had indicated an interest in moving out before marriage, perhaps there will be regret down the line but it sounds like your culture supports a direct path from the parents' home to husband's.

She is an adult and economically independent. Born in this country, she thought that she must do what the rest of her peers were doing, and asked if she should move out.

(My kids have previously asked us if they will be asked to leave the house once they turn 18 because this is what their classmates told them. We assured them that they will always be looked after by us for as long as they wanted.)

Of course, If she was working in another city, it would make sense that she would move. She has done that for a few months of internships in the past. When we assured her that she can stay and save money, and suggested that it will be a better option to building wealth, she readily agreed. No arm twisting required.

Of course, it depends on what kind of relationship you have with your kids, and if an adult child will be comfortable being in parents house also. I mean some kids cannot wait to get away from their parents and some parents cannot wait for their kids to leave.

Finally, most parents are in better financial situation than their kids and their kids will need help in todays economic uncertaininties to find their footing. Parents need to step up and help out their children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD wanted to move out, she has a good paying job and a good career in tech. But, we encouraged her to save her money and continue staying with us. Marriage is on the cards soon, and we do not want her to walk into her marriage broke.

So she’s never going to live on her own?

Why should she? She has already lived away from home through undergrad and grad.

But was she supporting herself? I agree with pps that having that time when you are full-time employed and living independently is important before living together/marriage.

Let’s see…no, she did not earn money during HS by doing a paying job, as she was always busy with internships and volunteer work. In college she got a generous merit scholarship so I think of it as supporting herself. (Even though we had saved for her college, we had to pay only a very small amount). She made some money in paid internships in college that she used for traveling as well as opened up a sandbox brokerage account.

She is in a high paying career path and quite aware about what she wants in a spouse, in her career and her family life. Economic emancipation is important for her above all. Mama has not raised a fool. But, I understand that there is a cultural component to it too.

I understand not wanting your daughter to enter a marriage with empty pockets. It doesn't sound like this is the case with your DD. Since she had indicated an interest in moving out before marriage, perhaps there will be regret down the line but it sounds like your culture supports a direct path from the parents' home to husband's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS will be moving in May '23 after three years of staying with us from college graduation. He has a good high paying job with 300K in savings and we do not charge rent, food, utilities, car insurance, cell phone, etc...We have a guest house next to the main house so he stays there and has privacy so it works out. He will be moving to Charlotte NC in May to accept a new position in the same company. We will give him 400K so that he will be able to purchase a new home in Charlotte without having to get a loan. We will also buy him a new Toyota RAV4 to send him off his successful launch in life. Three years is a good time to leave.

Do you want a medal?

Poor person, don’t get triggered.

This is how generational wealth is created. The poster was being nice by sharing her secret. No one is stopping you from emulating it.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are vague about the issue and concern here. Is your fear that your DC won't ever launch? Is the issue that they seem stagnant? Are they a nuisance to your and your spouse and you want more space?

What's the problem you're trying to solve here? And furthermore, what discussions did you have with your kid after they graduated college? You would think this would have come up at that point.

Ah, I chalk it up as trolling attempt by a White person. The asians will jump in and talk about how they should support the children and let them save money by living rent free at home. Then a jolly good time will be had by every one.

Anonymous wrote:My DS will be moving in May '23 after three years of staying with us from college graduation. He has a good high paying job with 300K in savings and we do not charge rent, food, utilities, car insurance, cell phone, etc...We have a guest house next to the main house so he stays there and has privacy so it works out. He will be moving to Charlotte NC in May to accept a new position in the same company. We will give him 400K so that he will be able to purchase a new home in Charlotte without having to get a loan. We will also buy him a new Toyota RAV4 to send him off his successful launch in life. Three years is a good time to leave.

Do you want a medal?