Anonymous
02/14/2023 16:46
Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:Mom 1 cancelled because the time no longer worked for her due to a schedule change.
Mom 2 cancelled because she would now have no friend to talk to, making it no longer worth her while on a Friday evening. She either doesn't want to talk to your DH because he's a guy or she figures he doesn't want to talk to her since he's been off on his phone up until this point.
All NBD in the end. Kids are still friends. Invite the girls over for a playdate at your house, or offer to take them to the playground during a time that works for you. Or ask if they would all (kids and moms) like to meet at a different time at the playground. Etc.
This is it. Mom #2 doesn’t want go sit alone at a park every friday afternoon.
Anonymous
02/14/2023 15:35
Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Mom 1 cancelled because the time no longer worked for her due to a schedule change.
Mom 2 cancelled because she would now have no friend to talk to, making it no longer worth her while on a Friday evening. She either doesn't want to talk to your DH because he's a guy or she figures he doesn't want to talk to her since he's been off on his phone up until this point.
All NBD in the end. Kids are still friends. Invite the girls over for a playdate at your house, or offer to take them to the playground during a time that works for you. Or ask if they would all (kids and moms) like to meet at a different time at the playground. Etc.
Mom 2 cancelled because she would now have no friend to talk to, making it no longer worth her while on a Friday evening. She either doesn't want to talk to your DH because he's a guy or she figures he doesn't want to talk to her since he's been off on his phone up until this point.
All NBD in the end. Kids are still friends. Invite the girls over for a playdate at your house, or offer to take them to the playground during a time that works for you. Or ask if they would all (kids and moms) like to meet at a different time at the playground. Etc.
Anonymous
02/14/2023 15:15
Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of sexist comments about a man on his phone wanting free babysitting. Chit chatting gossipy women at the park not watching their kids are just as guilty of wanting free babysitting.
It is even worse at the pool where they expect the lifeguards to watch their kids.
Speaking of sexist…
Anonymous
02/14/2023 14:57
Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of sexist comments about a man on his phone wanting free babysitting. Chit chatting gossipy women at the park not watching their kids are just as guilty of wanting free babysitting.
It is even worse at the pool where they expect the lifeguards to watch their kids.
If a mom met me at the playground and she ignored me and sat on a bench on her phone, I would not make plans with her again.
+1 It is isn't about gender at all. I had a mom do this and I never bothered making plans with her again.
Of course it is gendered. No one wants to make small talk with someone’s husband for an hour every week. So, either the other mom comes and has no one to socialize with and stands there alone while dad is on the bench on his phone or they have to make small talk. Neither is awesome. My child gets plenty of other socializing so I wouldn’t feel compelled to do this
The ideal is when all the parents are asocial and on their phones while the kids play.
Anonymous
02/14/2023 14:44
Subject: meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:At that age it’s about parent friendships. Your husband was not friendly.
Everyone keeps blaming the dad here but I'm not sure it was just cuz he was standoffish. If it was reversed and he was super friendly, there goes the rumor mill that he's cheating or flirting with other women. Is it stupid that this would happen, yes, but you know it does.
Anonymous
02/14/2023 13:13
Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of sexist comments about a man on his phone wanting free babysitting. Chit chatting gossipy women at the park not watching their kids are just as guilty of wanting free babysitting.
It is even worse at the pool where they expect the lifeguards to watch their kids.
If a mom met me at the playground and she ignored me and sat on a bench on her phone, I would not make plans with her again.
+1 It is isn't about gender at all. I had a mom do this and I never bothered making plans with her again.
Of course it is gendered. No one wants to make small talk with someone’s husband for an hour every week. So, either the other mom comes and has no one to socialize with and stands there alone while dad is on the bench on his phone or they have to make small talk. Neither is awesome. My child gets plenty of other socializing so I wouldn’t feel compelled to do this
That's a weird way of thinking. I'm happy to make small talk with other parents of any gender. In this case I would see them as a fellow parent not someone's husband. Hanging out with another parent who is staring at their phone - that is awkward and no fun. While it should be about the kids having fun and I probably would tolerate it - I can see why the other mom bailed.
Anonymous
02/14/2023 13:02
Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of sexist comments about a man on his phone wanting free babysitting. Chit chatting gossipy women at the park not watching their kids are just as guilty of wanting free babysitting.
It is even worse at the pool where they expect the lifeguards to watch their kids.
If a mom met me at the playground and she ignored me and sat on a bench on her phone, I would not make plans with her again.
+1 It is isn't about gender at all. I had a mom do this and I never bothered making plans with her again.
Of course it is gendered. No one wants to make small talk with someone’s husband for an hour every week. So, either the other mom comes and has no one to socialize with and stands there alone while dad is on the bench on his phone or they have to make small talk. Neither is awesome. My child gets plenty of other socializing so I wouldn’t feel compelled to do this
Anonymous
02/14/2023 12:58
Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:One mom couldn’t do it anymore because of her schedule, and the other mom felt awkward going when the other mom wasn’t there.
This is what I would assume.
Yeah. The other mom doesn’t want to hang out with your husband. I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to either.
Anonymous
02/14/2023 12:21
Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of sexist comments about a man on his phone wanting free babysitting. Chit chatting gossipy women at the park not watching their kids are just as guilty of wanting free babysitting.
It is even worse at the pool where they expect the lifeguards to watch their kids.
If a mom met me at the playground and she ignored me and sat on a bench on her phone, I would not make plans with her again.
+1 It is isn't about gender at all. I had a mom do this and I never bothered making plans with her again.
A mom once came over and was basically working from my house. She asked my other kids to be quiet because she was on a conference call. I wish she went to her car or just went home. She could have easily left earlier but her child was having fun so she decided to continue working at my house.
Anonymous
02/14/2023 12:19
Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of sexist comments about a man on his phone wanting free babysitting. Chit chatting gossipy women at the park not watching their kids are just as guilty of wanting free babysitting.
It is even worse at the pool where they expect the lifeguards to watch their kids.
If a mom met me at the playground and she ignored me and sat on a bench on her phone, I would not make plans with her again.
+1 It is isn't about gender at all. I had a mom do this and I never bothered making plans with her again.
Anonymous
02/14/2023 12:15
Subject: meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:At that age it’s about parent friendships. Your husband was not friendly.
oP never said age of the child.
To me it was about child socialization and not mine. He is staring at his phone and not engaging because he doesn’t want to accused of anything untoward by a lying woman.
Well now he's uninvited and the kid doesn't get to socialize. So yay dad?
Anonymous
02/14/2023 12:09
Subject: meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:They dont want to babysit your kid while DH is glued to the phone.
I would say this is it if the kids are younger - preschool age where they still need some help on the playground and OP’s husband wasn’t doing his fair share. But if OP’s kid is old enough to make her own friends at school, I don’t think this would be the case. Or at least, not ONLY this. It’s probably a combination of what everyone else has already said, not just one thing.
I do think the “dad alone” situation can be a little uncomfortable for everyone. Sometimes the moms don’t want to talk to the one dad, or feel awkward or like the guy thinks they’re hitting on them if they do talk.
Anonymous
02/14/2023 11:57
Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of sexist comments about a man on his phone wanting free babysitting. Chit chatting gossipy women at the park not watching their kids are just as guilty of wanting free babysitting.
It is even worse at the pool where they expect the lifeguards to watch their kids.
If a mom met me at the playground and she ignored me and sat on a bench on her phone, I would not make plans with her again.
Anonymous
02/14/2023 11:55
Subject: Re:meetup at playground
Anonymous wrote:One mom couldn’t do it anymore because of her schedule, and the other mom felt awkward going when the other mom wasn’t there.
This is what I would assume.
Anonymous
02/14/2023 11:52
Subject: Re:meetup at playground
There are a ton of sexist comments about a man on his phone wanting free babysitting. Chit chatting gossipy women at the park not watching their kids are just as guilty of wanting free babysitting.
It is even worse at the pool where they expect the lifeguards to watch their kids.
It is even worse at the pool where they expect the lifeguards to watch their kids.