Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 16:54     Subject: Re:How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Pretty unanimous that I should not bring it up. Curious that if the timing was better say a month in advance, how you would advice I politely talk about this?


Lol, so you won’t say anything and just resent the guy.

He’s so doomed.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 16:46     Subject: Re:How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
OP here. Pretty unanimous that I should not bring it up. Curious that if the timing was better say a month in advance, how you would advice I politely talk about this?
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 15:37     Subject: How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
Anonymous wrote:How new is the relationship? If it was under 3 months I would not expect all that much. Some flowers maybe? This holiday puts way too much pressure on new relationships.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 14:24     Subject: How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
In my experience, men are either good at celebrating special occasions and giving gifts - or they're not. If you have high expectations like OP and you happen to be with someone in the latter camp, you're going to be disappointed and resentful. My advice is to let it go and accept him for who he is IF he's giving and loving in other ways.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 13:58     Subject: How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
Easy. Use words.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 11:50     Subject: How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to make a big deal out of a Hallmark holiday?


ALL holidays are made up. Why shouldn’t she make a big deal about it? She likes it.

Unless she’s dating a mind-reader she’s just setting up the boyfriend for failure.


No, she is setting herself up for failure.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 11:06     Subject: How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to make a big deal out of a Hallmark holiday?


ALL holidays are made up. Why shouldn’t she make a big deal about it? She likes it.

Unless she’s dating a mind-reader she’s just setting up the boyfriend for failure.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 10:41     Subject: How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to make a big deal out of a Hallmark holiday?


ALL holidays are made up. Why shouldn’t she make a big deal about it? She likes it.


Fine. If OP wants to make a big deal out of it, she should tell her bf, "I know you need to work on VD, but to show you how much I care about you, here is a nice heart shaped box of candy, a teddy bear with a red ribbon on it, and I also would like to buy you dinner at your favorite restaurant when you are available. No please dont offer to split the cost! Then afterwards I will have mind blowing sex with you and I will be extra naughty because VD is so soecial to me. This is my gift to you, to show you how much you mean to me Honey Darling Babe!"


And what makes you think this isn’t happening?

I do not understand the anti-Valentine crowd. My husband brings me coffee in bed on weekend mornings and gets the kids out to their activities. He *still* bought me a beautiful pair of earrings. I’m making his favorite dinner. He’s *still* getting particularly naughty sex on Tuesday. Why do you people act like you’re being tortured to be an extra giving/loving person from time to time?
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 10:10     Subject: How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to make a big deal out of a Hallmark holiday?


ALL holidays are made up. Why shouldn’t she make a big deal about it? She likes it.


Fine. If OP wants to make a big deal out of it, she should tell her bf, "I know you need to work on VD, but to show you how much I care about you, here is a nice heart shaped box of candy, a teddy bear with a red ribbon on it, and I also would like to buy you dinner at your favorite restaurant when you are available. No please dont offer to split the cost! Then afterwards I will have mind blowing sex with you and I will be extra naughty because VD is so soecial to me. This is my gift to you, to show you how much you mean to me Honey Darling Babe!"
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 09:59     Subject: Re:How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m just generally a holiday person. I know everyone’s not like this and I don’t judge those who are not. It’s something that helps to make me feel appreciated in a relationship. Sometimes it’s easy to take your partner for granted and holidays are a built in reminder to replenish things. I want him to know how to love me the way i like and vice versa.


WOW. When he finds out your true personality, when you drop your mask and show him how spoiled and self centered you really are, this will all be over. I gove it another two months max unless you are super hot. But anyone who exoects to scarf a big box of candy on Valentines Day is probably dealing with a tum tum and an eating disorder. So beyond six months most people have difficulty faking who they really are.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 09:54     Subject: How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
Anonymous wrote:New relationship and this is our first V day. How do I politely let my boyfriend know that it’s important to me that he make a big deal about Valentine’s Day?


Not this. If Valentines Day, a completely artificial "holiday", is that important to you, then you can show him that. You seem very entitled and immature.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 09:10     Subject: How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to make a big deal out of a Hallmark holiday?


ALL holidays are made up. Why shouldn’t she make a big deal about it? She likes it.


She can make a big deal out of it. But she wants HIM to make a big deal out of it and he may not care, like many other people. He's not a mind reader so unless she tells him, he will probably fail this test. But then maybe he'll just get the flowers and card and tick the boxes without really feeling into it the way OP wants. She will probably still be mad in that case.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 08:59     Subject: Re:How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It blows my mind how many supposedly independent grown-ass people expect the red-carpet treatment on VD and their anniversary, with almost zero reciprocity. Remember VD in elementary school? It was not just a one-way street. The best way to express that the day is important is to treat your partner the way you would like to be treated. Used to be a popular concept called the Golden Rule.


Yeah imagine if two entire days out of 365 people made a really, really big deal out of the person who will, for example, see them through chemo in my parents case or face tragedy and adversity with them. Literally the most “VIP” in their lives. Sorry you don’t think your partner is worth a red carpet even two days a year, I feel for him or her.


My DH is outstanding day in and day out. We don’t do Valentine’s Day because… it…does…not…matter. Show up when it counts, which is daily.


Facts.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 08:57     Subject: How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
It will be good for him to learn how you handle disappointment over uncommunicated expectations early in the relationship.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2023 08:45     Subject: Re:How to express Valentine’s Day is important?
4 months? Don't expect much, are you guys exclusive?

If it's important to you, then plan something for the two of you.