Anonymous wrote:People pick random strangers as roommates to share the costs, why does it matter if it's someone they love and trust?

They are usually not having sex with their roommates. If sex is involved then it is playing house.

Anonymous wrote:Well, couples practically live at each other's places without sharing the cost so why not make it cost efficient. Even if they pay for two rooms at the dorm, its a lot of money wasted. I won't do it for freshman but seniors are 21 year old adults, why control them?

So that they have the option to break up

You don't get a say they are adults.

MYOB

Adults pay their own way. If I am paying my for school and housing/food, I absolutely get a say.

It was not at all common when I was in college 20 years ago. People were in serious relationships but no one wanted to actually move in together yet.

If SO is a freeloader or if your kid drops out of college then your argument of not on my dime makes sense but if everything is the same and instead of a rando, they are sharing it with someone they are dating, what's the real issue here for stopping to pay?

If both are sharing equally, what difference does it make to you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a state school. I didn’t know anyone who did this. I wouldn’t allow it. They are too young for that and not on my dime.

Same here. Not in my dime. They want to live together, then they can cover room and board, I will pay tuition.

How do you know whether your student is dating one of their roommates or not? I lived with random strangers most years in buildings or houses with individual leases.

Anonymous wrote:I went to a state school. I didn’t know anyone who did this. I wouldn’t allow it. They are too young for that and not on my dime.

Same here. Not in my dime. They want to live together, then they can cover room and board, I will pay tuition.

Anonymous wrote:Would you allow this?

We did not. Older parents and not naive but somehow seemed wrong to ask your parents to pay for you to live with your girlfriend. Like one pp said, if you are mature enough to do that then you are mature enough to pay for it. Our ds stayed with his roommates ( girlfriend there a lot) but he made great friends and I think glad he kept the roommates he had.

Again, I just feel once you cross the line from living at “ home” to living with a partner then you have entered adulthood and should be funding it.

Anonymous wrote:Would you allow this?

If I was master of my young adult child, I would be in a better position to allow or disallow. Fortunately, we are two adults who respect each other, discuss our problems, analyze with our best ability, compare notes, share advice if any, feel at peace with our agreements and differences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved a continent away for grad school and moved in with my fiance. Senior year of undergrad seems little young, but some people are ready. I'm not going to make a blanket generalization, it wouldn't be fair.

Senior year and grad year are just one year apart.

Technically, just 4 month apart.

The average graduate student is in their 30s, statistically.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved a continent away for grad school and moved in with my fiance. Senior year of undergrad seems little young, but some people are ready. I'm not going to make a blanket generalization, it wouldn't be fair.

Senior year and grad year are just one year apart.

Technically, just 4 month apart.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved a continent away for grad school and moved in with my fiance. Senior year of undergrad seems little young, but some people are ready. I'm not going to make a blanket generalization, it wouldn't be fair.

Senior year and grad year are just one year apart.

They are substantially different in terms of the decisions that are going on relative to next few years. I'd rather have two apartments being paid for and only one apartment being slept in each night so they each have "a room of one's own" for that senior year, and I'm generally really frugal. They both should have space senior year while they are working out what comes next and not feel like they need to stay together until graduation because of inertia.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not allow this if I was paying for school and living expenses. If they want to play house, they need to be paying for it.

I am not sure you would know! I pay rent for DD but have no idea where she spends her nights.

Well, a controlling parent can always put a ring bell, camera or a security system there to monitor when their kid comes and leaves and who visits at what time but if you can't trust your child then you have other problems to think about.

However, there is a lot their kid can do during college hours at other places. Also most colleges have evening classes and kids often work late in labs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not allow this if I was paying for school and living expenses. If they want to play house, they need to be paying for it.

I am not sure you would know! I pay rent for DD but have no idea where she spends her nights.

Well, a controlling parent can always put a ring bell, camera or a security system there to monitor when their kid comes and leaves and who visits at what time but if you can't trust your child then you have other problems to think about.