Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes me feel better to hear the my DD is not the only teen going through this. She has friends at school and through a sport she plays, but when she's not busy with those, she is pretty much at home. She doesn't make much effort to go out and schedule things, so I don't think this really bothers her. I think she is just a homebody. I wish she would socialize more like many of her peers, but I can't force her. So, we do watch streaming series together and she has started reading a lot. I am looking forward to the spring when her sport starts back up so she spends more time with kids her age.

I do t think you should encourage such DW pence of a 15 year old on you.

DP. Watching TV with your 15 year old is encouraging dependence? I’m not the OP, but believe me, most if not all of us posting here would be thrilled to see our kids get out more. But you can’t force it once they get to a certain age.

Depends on how often/how much you do it. I am in a similar situation, and I am looking for DD to do things without me, rather than come up with yet another thing to do with her. I love spending time with her, she’s my sunshine, but I want her to have a teenage experience and gain emotional and social independence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes me feel better to hear the my DD is not the only teen going through this. She has friends at school and through a sport she plays, but when she's not busy with those, she is pretty much at home. She doesn't make much effort to go out and schedule things, so I don't think this really bothers her. I think she is just a homebody. I wish she would socialize more like many of her peers, but I can't force her. So, we do watch streaming series together and she has started reading a lot. I am looking forward to the spring when her sport starts back up so she spends more time with kids her age.

I do t think you should encourage such DW pence of a 15 year old on you.

DP. Watching TV with your 15 year old is encouraging dependence? I’m not the OP, but believe me, most if not all of us posting here would be thrilled to see our kids get out more. But you can’t force it once they get to a certain age.

Anonymous wrote:It makes me feel better to hear the my DD is not the only teen going through this. She has friends at school and through a sport she plays, but when she's not busy with those, she is pretty much at home. She doesn't make much effort to go out and schedule things, so I don't think this really bothers her. I think she is just a homebody. I wish she would socialize more like many of her peers, but I can't force her. So, we do watch streaming series together and she has started reading a lot. I am looking forward to the spring when her sport starts back up so she spends more time with kids her age.

I do t think you should encourage such DW pence of a 15 year old on you.

My kid is like things. Some things we do together: go to thrift stores, jigsaw puzzles, walk the dog, binge watch shows, bake.

PP here. And to add to this, she was very social before the pandemic, so I think that definitely had an affect her. She became content with her own company.

It makes me feel better to hear the my DD is not the only teen going through this. She has friends at school and through a sport she plays, but when she's not busy with those, she is pretty much at home. She doesn't make much effort to go out and schedule things, so I don't think this really bothers her. I think she is just a homebody. I wish she would socialize more like many of her peers, but I can't force her. So, we do watch streaming series together and she has started reading a lot. I am looking forward to the spring when her sport starts back up so she spends more time with kids her age.

I think it’s great that you do things with your DD. But you’re no substitute for friends - teens need to explore and gain emotional independence. You’re like a social crutch and I wouldn’t encourage her to spend more time with you, I’d encourage her to seek and maintain friendships with kids of her own age.

i was kind of like your DD. I babysat a ton. It was great. I also pet sat and house sat for my neighbors.

We picked a DC museum once a month. Went downtown and walked. Sometimes just got some ice cream for lunch. Sometimes we dressed a little nicer and had a nice lunch or dinner.

NYC
Boston
Miami

Over the weekend trips.

Mine started loving going to places like the Portrait Gallery downtown. You can bring your lunch and eat in the atrium. It's SO relaxing. Better yet, show her get there on her own next time by taking the metro with her. It's drops you off right there.

Does she want to spend more time with you?

I had a 15 y.o. DD like this. A therapist told me that in these situations, adult women can fill the gap until college and then the situation, and your kid, will be different.

She is in her second year of college now and it's totally true! So don't fret, OP. Be her friend and find some women to bridge the gap.

(of course I'm not talking about being a friend OVER being a parent...that's a different subject)

So, my DD and I would take a drive. We had four routes to choose from. While she was learning to drive, she drove, but slowly after she had her license, I ended up driving most of the time.

I also paid for an art teacher who came to the house. I had her come on Friday evenings. My reasoning was that it helped in that my DD had something to do on Friday nights and not go down the "I have no one to hang out with--I'm a loser" track.

The art teacher was my age but had kids in their late 20s. She was sort of a surrogate aunt and gave my kid advice. I didn't hover, but let them develop their own relationship. The art teacher would sometimes come over on Saturdays after she was done with her clients and we'd all watch a movie.

The therapist who gave me this advice was also a surrogate friend.

My mom (very elderly but sweet) was also helpful in that way.

Some sort of small business where you can attend/sell at craft sales and bazaars.

Thrifting and resell online.

Sewing, crochet etc

Animal fostering. Me and my girls fostered several litters of kittens over the pandemic and it’s a lot of work but rewarding. Also - could be a way to connect with peers. Even teenagers love kittens and puppies.

I posted earlier but one thing I just remembered is that my DD sometimes wants to do silly things she sees on TikTok and I have willingly been a Guinea pig! The most recent one is she wants to try making “healthy Coke” which is club soda, lemon, and balsamic vinegar. Once we did the thing where you go through a fast food drive thru and order “the same thing the previous car ordered,” just for the surprise. Just silly stuff like that. It’s good bonding time.

Museums in DC.
Hiking.
Volunteer work together or separately.

Learn different things together, like how to cook, sew, do hair or makeup, basically any life skill that might help her to know how to do this when she grows up and leaves home. Knowing how to do your own nails and give yourself a pedicure is something I am always grateful for my mom teaching me how to do it myself. Gardening, growing your own vegetables, doesn't have to be "girly."