We had 2 shares with same nanny. One was amazing and the other awful. Difference being, the good one had compatible kids and parents with same general values. It was so easy and fun.

Bad one they were in a share to save $$ and treated us like an institution not a family, and they had poor communication, and we constantly felt silently judged. Nanny felt same way. Didn't last the full year originally intended.

So it's not about the nanny it's about the other family. Can you make decisions together and give clear direction to the nanny?

Anonymous wrote:I was a nanny in 2 nanny shares. Back then, no parents worked from home, and I had an old cellphone with no texting. No one ever had to "manage" me, so I keep wondering, what do you people mean by "managing" the nanny? I was in control the entire time. I would say, I had to manage 2 families, but no one had to manage me. How do you manage a nanny, anyway? Unless you hire to train someone with no experience.

I’m a parent who employs a nanny and I agree with this. I don’t manage her at all. She is 100% in charge of my kid during work hours. I trust her entirely… if I didn’t, why would I leave my child with her?

When we had another kid and family in the mix I had to manage the other family. They were nice, but difficult. Late for pick up, late to pay, oddly demanding about details of the day, terrible at communicating their needs/wants to the nanny. Their daughter was also a total brat, and I could tell my nanny was unhappy. It was exhausting.

nanny share worked perfectly for us. We had a contract. Our infant got sick once in 2 yrs and that was because one of us brought it home, not the nanny or the other family. The other child was sick once also and they kept him home until recovered, so this was a non issue compared to crazy stories about non stop rsv/ear infections at any given daycare.

Solo nanny is far superior. After that I'd say daycare (corporate or in home) over nanny share.

Too many dynamics with another family involved - if you're going to have multiple families as stakeholders, best to have the additional structure and policies of a daycare so that it's not a constant negotiation and figuring it out as you go along.

Cheaper. That's the only reason. And every parent can do what they want.

Your kid will get sick even with a nanny share or no share. Small family daycares doesn't have many sick kids.
Centers are the ones who has TONS of sick kids with boogers, germs, etc

Our midwife actually suggested a family whose baby was seven weeks older than ours. We had the couple over for dinner and then they had us over for dinner. It gave us a chance to see each others' homes, and talk about how we wanted to structure things, if a lot of our philosophies lined up (vaccines, discipline, schedules, etc.) and if in general we got along. We both wanted to align on how we were raising our babies so the nanny wouldn't have to deal with one thing for one family and a completely different thing for another family.

We needed the same amount of coverage and so split almost salary 50/50. One of us provided the home the majority of the time and the other paid like $50 more a week to offset the cost of the nanny eating. But one of the things we discussed was nickel and diming. We agreed we wanted to make sure the nanny never had to pay for anything but we wouldn't worry if one of us paid more one week - it all evens out at the end.

Nanny shares are great for kids. More excitement for the baby than just him and nanny, and much much less sickness/germs than in a daycare, plus nanny is more motivated with higher rate. Do it with a family in your neighborhood, someone from your local listserve or nexdoor.

I was a nanny in 2 nanny shares. Back then, no parents worked from home, and I had an old cellphone with no texting. No one ever had to "manage" me, so I keep wondering, what do you people mean by "managing" the nanny? I was in control the entire time. I would say, I had to manage 2 families, but no one had to manage me. How do you manage a nanny, anyway? Unless you hire to train someone with no experience.

Cheaper.


Too much work. Not every family you meet are gonna be nice

Anonymous wrote:Cheaper.
The cons of nannies are that in bad weather they can't go outside. Boring for nanny.

Family Daycare of 8 kids is great. A lot of interaction, socializing, etc.

If you need to go cheap then good luck. I hope you find a good family. I heard bad stories. One mom ordered the nanny to test both kids for covid. The other mom got upset. They both dismantled the share.
Good luck finding a nanny and good family.

Try posting in care. Com too

The cons of nannies are that in bad weather they can't go outside. Boring for nanny.

How is this a con for a nanny. Bad weather keeps kids inside under every circumstance.

Anonymous wrote:Please allow your child to have their own nanny for the first two years of life. This will forever be your child’s foundation. Healthy establishment of trust is essential. Investment is critical.

Professional nanny here who did several share arrangements. But never again. The “visiting” child is always the one who screams forever at nap time. It’s just not fair to the children to expect them to sleep in a very strange place. As caregiver of two unrelated children, it was impossible for me to comfort two children in two different rooms at the same time. It was horrible.

So kids in families with more than 1 child do not establish healthy trust with their shared parent?? We had a very successful nanny share for two years. It was in our home as we were on the way to their work locations. We got the benefit not going anywhere. They got the benefit on not having anyone at their house. Everyone was flexible and we occasionally swapped locations when something came up. When the nanny was sick or needed time off, we had 4 parents to help cover. The kids had each other to play with which was great. Our visitor did not have sleep issues in our house. She had her spot and her stuff. It was not a strange place. It was where she was everyday!

It is definitely more work than daycare. We were friends with the other family before hand so that helped. I would do it again under the right conditions..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who said shares are a good choice,? Nanny shares are for cheap people.

so if you are not wealthy enough to pay $30+ an hour alone you are cheap? It’s one or the other with no middle ground? OP the hardest part is agreeing on schedule as far as daily/weekly hours plus coordinating vacations and holidays. Would you want to host? This would create wear and tear and you would need duplicates of certain baby items. Or if other person hosts you still need to get your baby up and out the door in the morning… you could piss switch off but most Nanny’s prefer one location.

the “where to host” issue is probably the most potentially fraught especially with WFH. I always preferred not hosting because I didn’t want to have to keep the house in perfect shape and although we had some space, it would have been tight. I had no trouble finding partner families that prefered the convienience of hosting at home.

Any tips on finding the right family? The types of questions to ask?

No PP you asked but I posted about sharing for 7 years just now.

We would post an ad on here and on Craig’s list and I would stalk the same for people who posted seeking a nanny to see if they may want to do a share if it seemed nearby us.

We would meet in person with them and talk through the dynamics and what we had established in the contract with the nanny to make sure they were ok with it.

We nanny shared for about 7+ years. Although yes it was hard to manage a nanny I think it was the best thing for my kids as I was not finding any daycares I felt good about using.

- over that time we had 4 different share families. Lots of people just do shares until preschool but by the time oldest DC was ready for FT preschool we had younger DC.

- we had a contract and tried to put as much in their as possible. It was a three way with both families and the nanny.

- we did a payroll service the first few years to get us set up with taxes and create a template to follow.

- for families that wanted to share hosting duties with us we made it clear they needed a set up too so we did not need to take stuff back and forth so a 2nd booster / high chair there and a pack and play set up for the extra baby all the time.

- nanny was willing to use her car for driving the kids around which was a key piece for us when interviewing since we did not have a 3rd car.

My kids loved the nanny to pieces. Although it had its ups and downs for us as employers I think for them as kids it was a great choice.

Cheaper.
The cons of nannies are that in bad weather they can't go outside. Boring for nanny.

Family Daycare of 8 kids is great. A lot of interaction, socializing, etc.

If you need to go cheap then good luck. I hope you find a good family. I heard bad stories. One mom ordered the nanny to test both kids for covid. The other mom got upset. They both dismantled the share.
Good luck finding a nanny and good family.

Try posting in care. Com too

Cheaper. Some nannies will go higher