Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 15:53     Subject: If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
My friend had a baby at age 50. She is now 62 with a 12 year old. Retirement communities typically will not accept kids.

Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 15:53     Subject: If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My grandpa moved into a retirement community on Wednesday (Feb 1). He's 96. He stayed in the house he built 65 years ago for another year and a half after my grandma passed. It's three floors (attic, main living floor, basement with workshop and rec room) and they raised their children in it and had so many grandchildren come and go. He's also been feeding a feral cat colony out back for many years.

This is the exact right time for him to move -when he decided it was time. He will miss his wife of 67 years no matter where he goes but the winters were getting harder.

There is no reason to move at 55 or 65 or 75 if it's not time.

This is a great story. I'm thinking about his losses, his wife, for sure, and, yes, even the cats. He will do well in his new place, for him, the right time. Anomalies, both your parents, they managed far longer than most and almost all of it together. Thinking of him. It's so hard for the one who's left.


Awwe. I'm sure he will miss his workshop but the younger folks in the retirement community will take him under their wings.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 15:50     Subject: If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
62 and 65 here. We are both working demanding jobs.

We live in an 1800 sq ft one story house I bought at age 28.

It serves our needs.

My neighbors typically live in their one story homes until their mid 80's and then they will move to assisted living.

In many cases it is cheaper to live in your existing home. The house is paid off. All you have is the yearly tax bill.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 15:50     Subject: If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
I remember having a stern talk with my Mother. She was early 80's at the time. I was exasperated. I basically said ... how dare she and Dad not have a plan! As parents raising us, they always expected us to have a plan for our lives, to reach whatever milestone was coming next in our lives. At the time I was motivated by, what seemed like chaos, with my ILs.

But I learned something from the experience with my ILs. They could not have anticipated what would happen. The much younger parent who was doing perfectly well, died first very unexpectedly. After that, I showed my own parents more grace re: plans. At 90+ they went into a retirement facility.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 15:45     Subject: If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
The stairs keep me healthy/strong. And we’ve lived here 25 years, love our neighborhood and neighbors. Why move unless we have to? Plus, for the amount of our mortgage payment, we’d get half the space in today’s market, whether a rental or new purchase.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 15:44     Subject: Re:If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
Anonymous wrote:Wow, my parents are in their mid-60s and I can't imagine them moving into a retirement community. My dad's passion is gardening, he was so excited to retire to do more of it, and he has massive vegetable garden a nice flower and herb garden, and built another big vegetable garden next to his church that they plant and harvest to donate to the food bank. Their house is cleaner and in better shape than mine.

They don't have the physical stamina of their 40s but they're not exactly in the their twilight years yet; their elders have either dropped dead around 80 or are/were still going into their 90s.

Yes, 60s is fine. But, a lot of people really start to slow down when they hit their mid/late70s. The point is that you want to make the move before you *need* to make the move.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 15:43     Subject: If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
Very early 60s. Still working at demanding jobs, kids in college. Love our house and neighborhood. Do not feel old or retired. Why should we leave?
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 15:38     Subject: Re:If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of people can't handle the stairs past a certain age. Both my mom and MIL (in their 80s) have a problem with stairs. My mom moved to a ranch when she was in her 60s. They knew stairs was going to be an issue eventually so why wait.

My MIL, oth, was adamant that she could handle the stairs and refused to move when she was in her 60s. FFW to 80, and she was having issues, but she still did nothing to move. We've all been telling her to move for the past 10 years. She finally made the move, but it was more painful than it had to be. She couldn't do anything herself so she had to rely on movers (which she paid for ) and her children, who had to take time off to help her.

Don't be selfish, OP. Don't wait till it's too late to be able to make the move on your own. My parents were able to do everything on their own because they were healthy enough at 60 something.

OP here-And where should I move at 65 in order not to be selfish?

Some place where you can age in place and that has very few stairs, and you can easily put in accessibility equipment, and also where your kids can reach you somewhat easily. Don't live up in the mountains where it's going to take a plane, train and automobile for your kid to come to you.

I'm 52, btw, so it's not like I'm some young millennial making these comments.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 15:35     Subject: If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The one you've been in, whether it is a TH or SFH, and have no plans to move right now, what are your reasons?

We are always asked "why not move to a one level or over 55 development?"

We live in a regular suburban area, all ages, kids, but also plenty of people over 65 way into late 70s. Original owners, but we aren't. We've been here about 20 years.
We are not infirmed, we have several pets, retired, happy here. There's no reason to go, not now at least. I'm not saying never, but why is it assumed? There are pressing reasons we would definitely move, but it's not imminent. I think our next move will be in our 80s- continual care. That's about 18 years at least.


It's hard to move at 80. Also things can change very suddenly. My father went from riding a bike to work everyday at 70 to skilled nursing at 75. Thankfully my parents had moved to continuing care in between. When he passed she was settled with friends and support.

Yeah,but 80 is appropriate to move to a CCC, not really 70.


The point is you have to move before there is a problem. Finding the right place and moving while dealing with a big medical issue is awful.

What's the right place?


Near family, affordable to you, has space, provides the right type of care for both now and later, the right .. everyone's criteria is different but chances are it might take some time to figure it out and the day the hospital decides to discharge after the broken hip or stroke is not the day to do it.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 15:17     Subject: If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
My parents are 70 and 80 and in good health and looking to move into a 4000 sf McMansion. They can afford it, and can afford to pivot if something goes wrong or they need to make changes, but I am baffled at their decision making.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 15:10     Subject: Re:If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another good reason to live in a rambler. You can simply age in place, not worry about downsizing or putting in a stairlift.


There are exceedingly few ramblers in the DC area, PP. It's a problem.


Been to Bowie, MD?
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 14:54     Subject: Re:If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
Anonymous wrote:Wow, my parents are in their mid-60s and I can't imagine them moving into a retirement community. My dad's passion is gardening, he was so excited to retire to do more of it, and he has massive vegetable garden a nice flower and herb garden, and built another big vegetable garden next to his church that they plant and harvest to donate to the food bank. Their house is cleaner and in better shape than mine.

They don't have the physical stamina of their 40s but they're not exactly in the their twilight years yet; their elders have either dropped dead around 80 or are/were still going into their 90s.


+1 This describes my parents and family as well.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 14:50     Subject: Re:If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
Wow, my parents are in their mid-60s and I can't imagine them moving into a retirement community. My dad's passion is gardening, he was so excited to retire to do more of it, and he has massive vegetable garden a nice flower and herb garden, and built another big vegetable garden next to his church that they plant and harvest to donate to the food bank. Their house is cleaner and in better shape than mine.

They don't have the physical stamina of their 40s but they're not exactly in the their twilight years yet; their elders have either dropped dead around 80 or are/were still going into their 90s.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 14:48     Subject: If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
Anonymous wrote:My grandpa moved into a retirement community on Wednesday (Feb 1). He's 96. He stayed in the house he built 65 years ago for another year and a half after my grandma passed. It's three floors (attic, main living floor, basement with workshop and rec room) and they raised their children in it and had so many grandchildren come and go. He's also been feeding a feral cat colony out back for many years.

This is the exact right time for him to move -when he decided it was time. He will miss his wife of 67 years no matter where he goes but the winters were getting harder.

There is no reason to move at 55 or 65 or 75 if it's not time.

This is a great story. I'm thinking about his losses, his wife, for sure, and, yes, even the cats. He will do well in his new place, for him, the right time. Anomalies, both your parents, they managed far longer than most and almost all of it together. Thinking of him. It's so hard for the one who's left.
Anonymous
Post 02/05/2023 14:32     Subject: If you are in your 60s or 70s, and you are living in a regular house...
14:30 here again - both my grandparents started downsizing about 10 years ago. They emptied the attic well before covid hit, were well on their way to emptying the basement. That helped enormously.