Stop beating around the bush. Ask for help.

As a middle-aged guy, I would say that you have to ask. I've seen and been around a number of other middle-aged women who feel that offers of help are insulting and an implication that need help doing things that you have been taking care of by yourself for years and years.

Many guys who get back on the dating merry-go-round the second time get a little gun-shy when they are shut down for things that we consider to be chivalrous but women consider to be condescending or misogynistic. So, then the guys end up being polite but not offering to do things and wait to be asked so as not to offend accidentally.

So, I think it is perfectly fine to ask. He may want to help, but have been afraid to offer as he might be afraid to give slight where none was intended. So, you ask politely and he will probably accept politely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my 40s, divorced, had been seeing a guy for a few months and was moving with my stuff in a Uhaul trailer. My BF not only toured and found me an acceptable apartment and went to have the utilities turned on but when I arrived with my Uhaul he had two people who worked for him there to unload it into my apartment and he paid them. He would have helped himself but he had a bad back.

This guy you are dating doesn't sound like a boyfriend, he sounds like he's just a guy you've been dating.

Lol, a guy you'd been seeing for only a few months found you an apartment and paid for your move? What a sissy.

Sounds like a good guy who liked PP. And he probably got laid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my 40s, divorced, had been seeing a guy for a few months and was moving with my stuff in a Uhaul trailer. My BF not only toured and found me an acceptable apartment and went to have the utilities turned on but when I arrived with my Uhaul he had two people who worked for him there to unload it into my apartment and he paid them. He would have helped himself but he had a bad back.

This guy you are dating doesn't sound like a boyfriend, he sounds like he's just a guy you've been dating.

Lol, a guy you'd been seeing for only a few months found you an apartment and paid for your move? What a sissy.

Then she dumped him.

Anonymous wrote:I was in my 40s, divorced, had been seeing a guy for a few months and was moving with my stuff in a Uhaul trailer. My BF not only toured and found me an acceptable apartment and went to have the utilities turned on but when I arrived with my Uhaul he had two people who worked for him there to unload it into my apartment and he paid them. He would have helped himself but he had a bad back.

This guy you are dating doesn't sound like a boyfriend, he sounds like he's just a guy you've been dating.

Lol, a guy you'd been seeing for only a few months found you an apartment and paid for your move? What a sissy.

-You are moving next month. Do you mean March?
-What specific help do you need? If you don’t need him to move boxes, then what?
-Have you asked for his help? If not, then ask. If he says no, then you need to decide if this is a deal breaker.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my 40s, divorced, had been seeing a guy for a few months and was moving with my stuff in a Uhaul trailer. My BF not only toured and found me an acceptable apartment and went to have the utilities turned on but when I arrived with my Uhaul he had two people who worked for him there to unload it into my apartment and he paid them. He would have helped himself but he had a bad back.

This guy you are dating doesn't sound like a boyfriend, he sounds like he's just a guy you've been dating.

And now he's not your BF.

Who are you even replying to?

We learned all about this wonderful former boyfriend who helped someone move. And the relationship apparently crashed and burned anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in my 40s, divorced, had been seeing a guy for a few months and was moving with my stuff in a Uhaul trailer. My BF not only toured and found me an acceptable apartment and went to have the utilities turned on but when I arrived with my Uhaul he had two people who worked for him there to unload it into my apartment and he paid them. He would have helped himself but he had a bad back.

This guy you are dating doesn't sound like a boyfriend, he sounds like he's just a guy you've been dating.

And now he's not your BF.

Who are you even replying to?

Not to disparage anyone, but I think most boyfriends would want to be around day-of just because movers can be sorta rough guys. My brother spent his college summers working for moving companies and he would never leave a woman he cared about in that situation.

Of course maybe that just didn’t occur to your boyfriend but I would say as much: I’d feel more comfortable with you around given that I’ll otherwise be alone with 3-4 big strong men I’ve never met.

Anonymous wrote:I was in my 40s, divorced, had been seeing a guy for a few months and was moving with my stuff in a Uhaul trailer. My BF not only toured and found me an acceptable apartment and went to have the utilities turned on but when I arrived with my Uhaul he had two people who worked for him there to unload it into my apartment and he paid them. He would have helped himself but he had a bad back.

This guy you are dating doesn't sound like a boyfriend, he sounds like he's just a guy you've been dating.

And now he's not your BF.

Heck yeah, I would ask without hesitation.

I was in my 40s, divorced, had been seeing a guy for a few months and was moving with my stuff in a Uhaul trailer. My BF not only toured and found me an acceptable apartment and went to have the utilities turned on but when I arrived with my Uhaul he had two people who worked for him there to unload it into my apartment and he paid them. He would have helped himself but he had a bad back.

This guy you are dating doesn't sound like a boyfriend, he sounds like he's just a guy you've been dating.

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I are both 42 and divorced with kids. We've been together for a year. We live in separate apartments in downtown DC. My lease is coming up next month and I need to move to a different apartment, closer to m kids' school.

I am booking movers and packing everything. It would be great to have an extra set of hands on the day of, to help with logistics. My boyfriend hasn't offered to help me at all, but I would like to ask him. Do you think this is a reasonable request?

Dump him.

I'd ask a friend. If boyfriend is aware of when and where moving day is and does not, at least, show up with a pizza, I'd reconsider the relationship.

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I are both 42 and divorced with kids. We've been together for a year. We live in separate apartments in downtown DC. My lease is coming up next month and I need to move to a different apartment, closer to m kids' school.

I am booking movers and packing everything. It would be great to have an extra set of hands on the day of, to help with logistics. My boyfriend hasn't offered to help me at all, but I would like to ask him. Do you think this is a reasonable request?

Yes. He and his buddies should be renting a uhaul