Hmm...people are really out of touch. You can absolutely NOT get a bid from a sorority and it has nothing to do with whether you accepted invitations to houses or not. For instance, at JMU, say you go through recruitment and you aren't very nice. And then you find out that after each round more and more houses drop you until you don't have one left for preference. You don't get a bid. This has happened. And even for girls who are nice, you don't always get a bid. When 1000 girls rush and you have a certain amount per house then people will get dropped. It's not a great feeling, believe me. But, rush is brutal, especially at JMU. I can't even begin to describe how hard it was on my daughter. It challenged her confidence and self worth in every single way. And ultimately she would have been fine if she hadn't joined her sorority. But, she did know girls who did NOT get bids at JMU.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I would advise against this.

Have her join specific clubs of her interest instead. Sorriorties can be cruel, rush is cruel.

Ugh, our resident Greek Life hater. Hi! Op, my DD pledged a sorority and can be described very much like your daughter. It has had its' ups and downs, but, in the end, has been a very gratifying experience for her and her friend group. I was ultimately on the side of no Greek life, while my DH fully supported it, with us deciding it was her life and her decision. She eventually received six bids to six sororities and wisely chose the one that she knew she would fit into, not the most popular one which was originally her first choice. The rush experience truly helped her sort out the minute differences that helped her arrive at the final selection. It has been a very supportive and enlightening environment she chose to place herself in, no regrets whatsoever. And yes, my DH gets to tell my "I told you so" whenever he wants on the subject. Lol.

But your DD got 6 bids, including her original first choice. Now imagine being a girl who only gets one bid (or none), and it's to the "lowest ranked" sorority and not one she envisioned being a part of. Can you see how demeaning and damaging that can be to her moral and overall well being?

The lack of self awareness in this complaint is stunning. Can you not see how judgmental your own daughter is being in rejecting the sorority that gave her the bid as being beneath her?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I would advise against this.

Have her join specific clubs of her interest instead. Sorriorties can be cruel, rush is cruel.

Ugh, our resident Greek Life hater. Hi! Op, my DD pledged a sorority and can be described very much like your daughter. It has had its' ups and downs, but, in the end, has been a very gratifying experience for her and her friend group. I was ultimately on the side of no Greek life, while my DH fully supported it, with us deciding it was her life and her decision. She eventually received six bids to six sororities and wisely chose the one that she knew she would fit into, not the most popular one which was originally her first choice. The rush experience truly helped her sort out the minute differences that helped her arrive at the final selection. It has been a very supportive and enlightening environment she chose to place herself in, no regrets whatsoever. And yes, my DH gets to tell my "I told you so" whenever he wants on the subject. Lol.

But your DD got 6 bids, including her original first choice. Now imagine being a girl who only gets one bid (or none), and it's to the "lowest ranked" sorority and not one she envisioned being a part of. Can you see how demeaning and damaging that can be to her moral and overall well being?

+2 My freshman DD calls often in tears about how miserable she is at school now that all her friends are in a sorority and she isn’t. It is even worse when other girls mention how sorry they are and that they “can’t believe” she was dropped by XYZ sorority. It seems like a silly thing to transfer colleges over, but she really can’t see how this gets better over the next 4 years unless she finds all new friends. I was neutral on Greek life before, but this entire experience has turned me into a hater!

In this situation, a girl stands a very good chance of getting a sophomore invite to the sorority when her friends can talk her up at the rush meetings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I understand, the process is less brutal at SLACs. But you may want to ask around. At my school, it was absolutely brutal. There were houses with horrible nicknames that no one wanted to be in.

My daughter attends a SLAC. She decided to rush and was only asked back to the "loser" sorority for the preference round. Her friends went to other sororities or, in a few cases, also only had the "loser" sorority as an option, so they decided not to pledge at all. They all seemed a little PTSD about the whole experience. Putting 20/21 year olds in charge of 18 year olds: what could go wrong?

Maybe they could’ve joined the “loser” sorority (what an awful description) and made it better, bigger and healthier? But no, your kid decided she was too good for them, nice.

NP-Or knew she wouldn't be happy and made an appropriate decision for both involved. Some of you are perpetually miserable and you simply can't help yourself from judging others, sad.

Right? These are the same women saying it’s a “mutual selection” and the girls are “interviewing the houses as well.” But heaven forbid she think her one option is a bad fit and be upset about the emotionally miserable week.

Well all credibility for your response went out the window when the final sorority was described as the "loser sorority". You could have just said, she didn't think her remaining options were fits. But no...... they are losers and your perfect princess is FAR too good for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I would advise against this.

Have her join specific clubs of her interest instead. Sorriorties can be cruel, rush is cruel.

Ugh, our resident Greek Life hater. Hi! Op, my DD pledged a sorority and can be described very much like your daughter. It has had its' ups and downs, but, in the end, has been a very gratifying experience for her and her friend group. I was ultimately on the side of no Greek life, while my DH fully supported it, with us deciding it was her life and her decision. She eventually received six bids to six sororities and wisely chose the one that she knew she would fit into, not the most popular one which was originally her first choice. The rush experience truly helped her sort out the minute differences that helped her arrive at the final selection. It has been a very supportive and enlightening environment she chose to place herself in, no regrets whatsoever. And yes, my DH gets to tell my "I told you so" whenever he wants on the subject. Lol.

But your DD got 6 bids, including her original first choice. Now imagine being a girl who only gets one bid (or none), and it's to the "lowest ranked" sorority and not one she envisioned being a part of. Can you see how demeaning and damaging that can be to her moral and overall well being?

+2 My freshman DD calls often in tears about how miserable she is at school now that all her friends are in a sorority and she isn’t. It is even worse when other girls mention how sorry they are and that they “can’t believe” she was dropped by XYZ sorority. It seems like a silly thing to transfer colleges over, but she really can’t see how this gets better over the next 4 years unless she finds all new friends. I was neutral on Greek life before, but this entire experience has turned me into a hater!

+1

It’s emotionally abusive and these girls are barely 18 and just went out in their own for the first time. It’s painful to see what should be a happy and exciting time in their lives be traumatic instead. And the grad students overseeing the 21 year olds never grew up themselves and don’t mind seeing the misery.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like my DD has PTSD from rush. I am not trying to be funny. It was BRUTAL. She dropped out at the end when she was dropped by the top two sororities.

Oh no, what happened that made it “brutal”?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I would advise against this.

Have her join specific clubs of her interest instead. Sorriorties can be cruel, rush is cruel.

Ugh, our resident Greek Life hater. Hi! Op, my DD pledged a sorority and can be described very much like your daughter. It has had its' ups and downs, but, in the end, has been a very gratifying experience for her and her friend group. I was ultimately on the side of no Greek life, while my DH fully supported it, with us deciding it was her life and her decision. She eventually received six bids to six sororities and wisely chose the one that she knew she would fit into, not the most popular one which was originally her first choice. The rush experience truly helped her sort out the minute differences that helped her arrive at the final selection. It has been a very supportive and enlightening environment she chose to place herself in, no regrets whatsoever. And yes, my DH gets to tell my "I told you so" whenever he wants on the subject. Lol.

But your DD got 6 bids, including her original first choice. Now imagine being a girl who only gets one bid (or none), and it's to the "lowest ranked" sorority and not one she envisioned being a part of. Can you see how demeaning and damaging that can be to her moral and overall well being?

+2 My freshman DD calls often in tears about how miserable she is at school now that all her friends are in a sorority and she isn’t. It is even worse when other girls mention how sorry they are and that they “can’t believe” she was dropped by XYZ sorority. It seems like a silly thing to transfer colleges over, but she really can’t see how this gets better over the next 4 years unless she finds all new friends. I was neutral on Greek life before, but this entire experience has turned me into a hater!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I would advise against this.

Have her join specific clubs of her interest instead. Sorriorties can be cruel, rush is cruel.

Ugh, our resident Greek Life hater. Hi! Op, my DD pledged a sorority and can be described very much like your daughter. It has had its' ups and downs, but, in the end, has been a very gratifying experience for her and her friend group. I was ultimately on the side of no Greek life, while my DH fully supported it, with us deciding it was her life and her decision. She eventually received six bids to six sororities and wisely chose the one that she knew she would fit into, not the most popular one which was originally her first choice. The rush experience truly helped her sort out the minute differences that helped her arrive at the final selection. It has been a very supportive and enlightening environment she chose to place herself in, no regrets whatsoever. And yes, my DH gets to tell my "I told you so" whenever he wants on the subject. Lol.

But your DD got 6 bids, including her original first choice. Now imagine being a girl who only gets one bid (or none), and it's to the "lowest ranked" sorority and not one she envisioned being a part of. Can you see how demeaning and damaging that can be to her moral and overall well being?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I understand, the process is less brutal at SLACs. But you may want to ask around. At my school, it was absolutely brutal. There were houses with horrible nicknames that no one wanted to be in.

My daughter attends a SLAC. She decided to rush and was only asked back to the "loser" sorority for the preference round. Her friends went to other sororities or, in a few cases, also only had the "loser" sorority as an option, so they decided not to pledge at all. They all seemed a little PTSD about the whole experience. Putting 20/21 year olds in charge of 18 year olds: what could go wrong?

+1

If schools did rush in the spring, it would make the connections a little more authentic and it would let the girls adapt to college first before the miserable trauma of it. But I’m convinced that the drama of crying girls is part of the “fun” for the happy girls.

+1 Rush should never be fall of freshman year.

My DD is at a small (under 8K), 25% greek school. I never thought she'd be the type to rush (I hate the greek system for it's history and who it excludes, the concept of letting others rate you and tell you whether you are in the right place, etc). But all of her friends rushed, so she did as well. And all of her friends ended up in the same sorority as she did. So I'm at least happy she didn't ditch her friend group, and this tells me that she most likely ended up in the right place. Key perk: most sophomores live in the "house" so it will ensure she has decent housing with friends (it's required to live on campus sophomore year).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I understand, the process is less brutal at SLACs. But you may want to ask around. At my school, it was absolutely brutal. There were houses with horrible nicknames that no one wanted to be in.

My daughter attends a SLAC. She decided to rush and was only asked back to the "loser" sorority for the preference round. Her friends went to other sororities or, in a few cases, also only had the "loser" sorority as an option, so they decided not to pledge at all. They all seemed a little PTSD about the whole experience. Putting 20/21 year olds in charge of 18 year olds: what could go wrong?

+1

If schools did rush in the spring, it would make the connections a little more authentic and it would let the girls adapt to college first before the miserable trauma of it. But I’m convinced that the drama of crying girls is part of the “fun” for the happy girls.

Rush is the spring is no better. Rush in the spring you get humiliated in front of people you actually know and often have to spend time with regardless.

+2 Spring rush is more brutal for the girls who don’t make it into the top sororities and all of their friends do. My DD is now talking about transferring because she is completely left out off all the social events her friend group attends. Yes, I know she can make new friends. However, she has already found her people this fall. They are all now in the top 3 sororities and she is left home in the weekends while they are off doing their dances, mixers, big sis/little sis things. It is very, very isolating for a freshman in college. Absolutely miserable so far.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like my DD has PTSD from rush. I am not trying to be funny. It was BRUTAL. She dropped out at the end when she was dropped by the top two sororities.

I get that rush is brutal. It was for my daughter too. But good grief your DD was setting herself up if she thought the only sororities worth joining were the “top two.” Really unfortunate she chose to help perpetuate that nonsense.

DP That “nonsense” is the foundation of Panhellenic existence. The entire organization was founded and exists to rank people socially.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like my DD has PTSD from rush. I am not trying to be funny. It was BRUTAL. She dropped out at the end when she was dropped by the top two sororities.

I get that rush is brutal. It was for my daughter too. But good grief your DD was setting herself up if she thought the only sororities worth joining were the “top two.” Really unfortunate she chose to help perpetuate that nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I understand, the process is less brutal at SLACs. But you may want to ask around. At my school, it was absolutely brutal. There were houses with horrible nicknames that no one wanted to be in.

My daughter attends a SLAC. She decided to rush and was only asked back to the "loser" sorority for the preference round. Her friends went to other sororities or, in a few cases, also only had the "loser" sorority as an option, so they decided not to pledge at all. They all seemed a little PTSD about the whole experience. Putting 20/21 year olds in charge of 18 year olds: what could go wrong?

+1

If schools did rush in the spring, it would make the connections a little more authentic and it would let the girls adapt to college first before the miserable trauma of it. But I’m convinced that the drama of crying girls is part of the “fun” for the happy girls.

Rush is the spring is no better. Rush in the spring you get humiliated in front of people you actually know and often have to spend time with regardless.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like my DD has PTSD from rush. I am not trying to be funny. It was BRUTAL. She dropped out at the end when she was dropped by the top two sororities.

Same. And I have it from mothering through that experience too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From what I understand, the process is less brutal at SLACs. But you may want to ask around. At my school, it was absolutely brutal. There were houses with horrible nicknames that no one wanted to be in.

My daughter attends a SLAC. She decided to rush and was only asked back to the "loser" sorority for the preference round. Her friends went to other sororities or, in a few cases, also only had the "loser" sorority as an option, so they decided not to pledge at all. They all seemed a little PTSD about the whole experience. Putting 20/21 year olds in charge of 18 year olds: what could go wrong?

Maybe they could’ve joined the “loser” sorority (what an awful description) and made it better, bigger and healthier? But no, your kid decided she was too good for them, nice.

NP-Or knew she wouldn't be happy and made an appropriate decision for both involved. Some of you are perpetually miserable and you simply can't help yourself from judging others, sad.

Oh, you mean like the middle-aged woman calling a bunch of 18 year old young women losers?

Honey child, do you understand what “” mean in writing?