Anonymous wrote:Lol Op as a teen, I pierced my septum, belly button, and most of the cartilage of my ears. With ice and a safety pin. Bless your heart.

haha yep I had so many friends who did stuff like this. If it were my kid I would rather pay the $$ and take them somewhere clean to get this stuff done.

When I was 16, I asked my parents permission to get my navel pierced. They said no. I went and did it anyway, because at 16 I felt that it was my body and I should get to make decisions about it. It had nothing to do with rebelling, or disrespect to my parents. I imagine your daughter felt a similar way. Having two ear lobe piercings is no big deal and there is literally no rational reason to say no. They are her ears.

If she had asked you again, what would you have said? What was the reason you said no the first time?

Anonymous wrote:My teenage daughter double pierced her own ears recently. She asked me several years ago if she could but I said no. She doesn’t realize I noticed. I’d like to talk with her about why she went behind my back and did it but am interested in how to approach her or any talking points that have worked with getting through to your teenager.

Did she literally do it herself? Ouch. I would let her know that was a bit risky and now you guys need to keep an eye on it for infection.

Also, since it's been several years since you last talked about it I would tell her that this is the sort of thing you hope she would bring up with you again. She's getting older and you want her to know you're open to revisiting certain subjects.

Finally, tell her that even if you guys disagree about something, you will always have her back if she finds herself in trouble. Like if she asks for a piercing and you say no and she gets it, but then it's infected, she can tell you and you will help. Or if she asks to go to a party and you say no but she does and gets stuck without a ride home, she can call you. Stuff like that. I found myself in a few very dangerous, scary situations as a teen just because I didn't want to tell my parents. Knowing they disapproved didn't stop me from making some bad choices anyway, and being afraid of them made me continue to make even worse choices at times.

I think the posts that suggest telling her where you draw the line are a bit silly because OP did draw the line, and her kid ignored it. That said, I disagree that the line should have been drawn there over something so small. I’m really not sure how to handle it. It was not a great rule to start with, but it just sounds stupid IMO to say, I know you did this thing that I told you not to do, and that’s ok, but next time come to me in case I really mean for you not to do the thing I’m telling you not to do.

I did this when I was 12! My mom never said a word. My 13 yo just asked for double piercings and I have no problem with it.

Anonymous wrote:My teenage daughter double pierced her own ears recently. She asked me several years ago if she could but I said no. She doesn’t realize I noticed. I’d like to talk with her about why she went behind my back and did it but am interested in how to approach her or any talking points that have worked with getting through to your teenager.

I’d probably acknowledge it And tell mine that if they had told me they wanted it done, I’d have paid for it. Big difference between a 12’year old and a 15 year old. Definitely would not object - it’s done.

Anonymous wrote:Why did you say no to a double ear piercing for a 15.5yr old? Just curious. What was your reasoning?

I said no when she asked at age 12.

My only concern is that She did it Herself. I would address that! Perhaps I am too liberal for some, but 7yo DD has Her doubles, 11yo DD has Her thirds, and 13yo DS has had both His ears pierced since He was five. I believe it is a harmless form of expression.

Why did you say no to a double ear piercing for a 15.5yr old? Just curious. What was your reasoning?

Don’t they make you sign a consent form?

Kids gonna rebel, I guess. You don’t have to be happy about it and you can tell her you feel betrayed that she went behind your back.

Lol Op as a teen, I pierced my septum, belly button, and most of the cartilage of my ears. With ice and a safety pin. Bless your heart.

Next time listen to her when she wants to do something so innocuous. Must have been important to her, if she did it herself.

I would be more concerned that she did it herself than about the fact that she did it at all. Sounds very unsanitary.

You could have taken her and taught her the importance of having it professionally done and congratulate her on wanting something that can easily be removed once she no longer wants it. Now, you have to what for it to keloid and ooze puss.