Anonymous
01/22/2023 13:07
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.
We each own a home we bought before we were married.
Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.
What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.
I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.
What are you even going on about? The PP is very smart to not blend. If both parties have means and kids there's no reason they can't preserve their own estates for their children.
I'm the same, my assets are in a trust. My (second) husband has his own assets. I have no interest in them. And he has no interest in mine. We are both self sufficient but we also don't nickle and dime things like meals out. We split who pays but no one is keeping score. It works for us.
Well part of my dream for a family is building a joint lifestyle and legacy, which is pretty much impossible in this situation.
Translation: A man is the plan, i need his money and I don't want it to go to his kids.
More like: a man is work and I don’t work for free.
I respect prostitution as a profession if it’s your choice. Stay safe
Men don’t value what they don’t pay for. I’m not talking about sex. If a man won’t share his money with you he doesn’t love you.
I love my partner very much but I am not commingling my kids' future assets with his finances and assets.
So you have love but no trust or confidence in your partnership, and you are dedicating your time to someone who won’t provide anything for you and vice versa. Sounds brutal.
I am the widow with 3 kids who posted above about keeping everything separate if I were to marry again. Trust and confidence have nothing to do with it. My late husband and I made financial (and many other) decisions based on our children's present and future lives. There is no way someone who is not their parent could be that invested. Any mature person will understand that. Anyone who doesn't understand that is not the person for me.
Anonymous
01/22/2023 08:14
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:No kids from first. Everything joint.
+1
Anonymous
01/22/2023 07:45
Subject: Second marriage finances
First marriage for me, no kids. Second for DH who had sole custody. Funny enough, his X decided to sue for custody after we got married so all finances went in my name. (And before folks start saying this isn't how it works - it was on the advise of our attorney and it in fact did work.) This was 25+ years ago. Since then we've co-mingled everything and have had kids together.
Anonymous
01/22/2023 07:30
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.
We each own a home we bought before we were married.
Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.
What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.
I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.
What are you even going on about? The PP is very smart to not blend. If both parties have means and kids there's no reason they can't preserve their own estates for their children.
I'm the same, my assets are in a trust. My (second) husband has his own assets. I have no interest in them. And he has no interest in mine. We are both self sufficient but we also don't nickle and dime things like meals out. We split who pays but no one is keeping score. It works for us.
Well part of my dream for a family is building a joint lifestyle and legacy, which is pretty much impossible in this situation.
Translation: A man is the plan, i need his money and I don't want it to go to his kids.
More like: a man is work and I don’t work for free.
I respect prostitution as a profession if it’s your choice. Stay safe
Men don’t value what they don’t pay for. I’m not talking about sex. If a man won’t share his money with you he doesn’t love you.
I love my partner very much but I am not commingling my kids' future assets with his finances and assets.
So you have love but no trust or confidence in your partnership, and you are dedicating your time to someone who won’t provide anything for you and vice versa. Sounds brutal.
Sorry but my assets go to my kids. His go to his. We hve fairly similar hhi and assets. Sad that you equate trust and confidence to access to his money
And being with a man for you is work? You have not met the right man.
Anonymous
01/22/2023 06:33
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everything joint. I have 3 kids from first marriage. DH has none. I have life insurance with my kids as beneficiaries that will go into a trust with my parents managing the trust. Once my kids are out of college, I’ll reevaluate the life insurance.
For DH and me, all our income, savings, investments, and real estate are in both our names. When either of us dies, it all goes to the other.
I don’t find this to be complicated at all and it seems weird to not partner because of finances. DH and I both make relatively similar salaries and come to the relationship with similar assets.
This all works out great unless you pre-decease him.
No. If I predecease him, the life insurance goes into a trust managed by my parents. The kids would go full time to their bio father. DH would get the rest of my resource. If I was married to bio dad, all my resources would go to bio dad.
Who manages the trust when your parents die?
My parents are healthy. Oldest kid is almost 18. He would be the manger of the trust if my parents are unable. I already have separate college funds for each kid. Not sure why they would need more than what I planned.
I wound rethink that. You can hire a lawyer/trust company to manage it.
I don’t turn much over until the kids are 32, 18 years s way too young.
We've had a lot of issues with professional outsiders managing trusts. They really care nothing about the beneficiary and are only in it for the money.
Anonymous
01/22/2023 02:12
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.
We each own a home we bought before we were married.
Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.
What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.
I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.
What are you even going on about? The PP is very smart to not blend. If both parties have means and kids there's no reason they can't preserve their own estates for their children.
I'm the same, my assets are in a trust. My (second) husband has his own assets. I have no interest in them. And he has no interest in mine. We are both self sufficient but we also don't nickle and dime things like meals out. We split who pays but no one is keeping score. It works for us.
Well part of my dream for a family is building a joint lifestyle and legacy, which is pretty much impossible in this situation.
Translation: A man is the plan, i need his money and I don't want it to go to his kids.
More like: a man is work and I don’t work for free.
I respect prostitution as a profession if it’s your choice. Stay safe
Men don’t value what they don’t pay for. I’m not talking about sex. If a man won’t share his money with you he doesn’t love you.
I love my partner very much but I am not commingling my kids' future assets with his finances and assets.
So you have love but no trust or confidence in your partnership, and you are dedicating your time to someone who won’t provide anything for you and vice versa. Sounds brutal.
I’m not even sure what this means. We don’t need to provide for each other.
Anonymous
01/22/2023 01:25
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.
We each own a home we bought before we were married.
Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.
What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.
I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.
What are you even going on about? The PP is very smart to not blend. If both parties have means and kids there's no reason they can't preserve their own estates for their children.
I'm the same, my assets are in a trust. My (second) husband has his own assets. I have no interest in them. And he has no interest in mine. We are both self sufficient but we also don't nickle and dime things like meals out. We split who pays but no one is keeping score. It works for us.
Well part of my dream for a family is building a joint lifestyle and legacy, which is pretty much impossible in this situation.
Translation: A man is the plan, i need his money and I don't want it to go to his kids.
More like: a man is work and I don’t work for free.
I respect prostitution as a profession if it’s your choice. Stay safe
Men don’t value what they don’t pay for. I’m not talking about sex. If a man won’t share his money with you he doesn’t love you.
I love my partner very much but I am not commingling my kids' future assets with his finances and assets.
So you have love but no trust or confidence in your partnership, and you are dedicating your time to someone who won’t provide anything for you and vice versa. Sounds brutal.
Anonymous
01/21/2023 23:26
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everything joint. I have 3 kids from first marriage. DH has none. I have life insurance with my kids as beneficiaries that will go into a trust with my parents managing the trust. Once my kids are out of college, I’ll reevaluate the life insurance.
For DH and me, all our income, savings, investments, and real estate are in both our names. When either of us dies, it all goes to the other.
I don’t find this to be complicated at all and it seems weird to not partner because of finances. DH and I both make relatively similar salaries and come to the relationship with similar assets.
This all works out great unless you pre-decease him.
No. If I predecease him, the life insurance goes into a trust managed by my parents. The kids would go full time to their bio father. DH would get the rest of my resource. If I was married to bio dad, all my resources would go to bio dad.
Who manages the trust when your parents die?
My parents are healthy. Oldest kid is almost 18. He would be the manger of the trust if my parents are unable. I already have separate college funds for each kid. Not sure why they would need more than what I planned.
Parents can go from healthy to dead or incapacitated pretty quickly (actually that is possible for all of us, sadly). You may want to have a sibling be the backup trustee and put some more of you estate into that trust in your will.
Anonymous
01/21/2023 23:15
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.
We each own a home we bought before we were married.
Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.
What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.
I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.
What are you even going on about? The PP is very smart to not blend. If both parties have means and kids there's no reason they can't preserve their own estates for their children.
I'm the same, my assets are in a trust. My (second) husband has his own assets. I have no interest in them. And he has no interest in mine. We are both self sufficient but we also don't nickle and dime things like meals out. We split who pays but no one is keeping score. It works for us.
Well part of my dream for a family is building a joint lifestyle and legacy, which is pretty much impossible in this situation.
Translation: A man is the plan, i need his money and I don't want it to go to his kids.
More like: a man is work and I don’t work for free.
I respect prostitution as a profession if it’s your choice. Stay safe
Men don’t value what they don’t pay for. I’m not talking about sex. If a man won’t share his money with you he doesn’t love you.
I love my partner very much but I am not commingling my kids' future assets with his finances and assets.
Anonymous
01/21/2023 22:37
Subject: Second marriage finances
Situational - I imagine a couple who gets together in their 50s where both have their own grown kids is going to share (or not share) finances a lot differently than a man who remarries a younger woman and they have kids together.
Anonymous
01/21/2023 22:14
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.
We each own a home we bought before we were married.
Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.
What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.
I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.
What are you even going on about? The PP is very smart to not blend. If both parties have means and kids there's no reason they can't preserve their own estates for their children.
I'm the same, my assets are in a trust. My (second) husband has his own assets. I have no interest in them. And he has no interest in mine. We are both self sufficient but we also don't nickle and dime things like meals out. We split who pays but no one is keeping score. It works for us.
Well part of my dream for a family is building a joint lifestyle and legacy, which is pretty much impossible in this situation.
Translation: A man is the plan, i need his money and I don't want it to go to his kids.
More like: a man is work and I don’t work for free.
I respect prostitution as a profession if it’s your choice. Stay safe
Men don’t value what they don’t pay for. I’m not talking about sex. If a man won’t share his money with you he doesn’t love you.
Anonymous
01/21/2023 21:34
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everything joint. I have 3 kids from first marriage. DH has none. I have life insurance with my kids as beneficiaries that will go into a trust with my parents managing the trust. Once my kids are out of college, I’ll reevaluate the life insurance.
For DH and me, all our income, savings, investments, and real estate are in both our names. When either of us dies, it all goes to the other.
I don’t find this to be complicated at all and it seems weird to not partner because of finances. DH and I both make relatively similar salaries and come to the relationship with similar assets.
This all works out great unless you pre-decease him.
No. If I predecease him, the life insurance goes into a trust managed by my parents. The kids would go full time to their bio father. DH would get the rest of my resource. If I was married to bio dad, all my resources would go to bio dad.
Who manages the trust when your parents die?
My parents are healthy. Oldest kid is almost 18. He would be the manger of the trust if my parents are unable. I already have separate college funds for each kid. Not sure why they would need more than what I planned.
I wound rethink that. You can hire a lawyer/trust company to manage it.
I don’t turn much over until the kids are 32, 18 years s way too young.
Anonymous
01/21/2023 21:32
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.
We each own a home we bought before we were married.
Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.
What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.
I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.
What are you even going on about? The PP is very smart to not blend. If both parties have means and kids there's no reason they can't preserve their own estates for their children.
I'm the same, my assets are in a trust. My (second) husband has his own assets. I have no interest in them. And he has no interest in mine. We are both self sufficient but we also don't nickle and dime things like meals out. We split who pays but no one is keeping score. It works for us.
Well part of my dream for a family is building a joint lifestyle and legacy, which is pretty much impossible in this situation.
Translation: A man is the plan, i need his money and I don't want it to go to his kids.
More like: a man is work and I don’t work for free.
I respect prostitution as a profession if it’s your choice. Stay safe
Anonymous
01/21/2023 20:46
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.
We each own a home we bought before we were married.
Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.
What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.
I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.
What are you even going on about? The PP is very smart to not blend. If both parties have means and kids there's no reason they can't preserve their own estates for their children.
I'm the same, my assets are in a trust. My (second) husband has his own assets. I have no interest in them. And he has no interest in mine. We are both self sufficient but we also don't nickle and dime things like meals out. We split who pays but no one is keeping score. It works for us.
Well part of my dream for a family is building a joint lifestyle and legacy, which is pretty much impossible in this situation.
Translation: A man is the plan, i need his money and I don't want it to go to his kids.
More like: a man is work and I don’t work for free.
Anonymous
01/21/2023 20:46
Subject: Second marriage finances
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.
We each own a home we bought before we were married.
Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.
What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.
I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.
Sorry you can't support yourself but most of us are adults and can.
I can and I do. Sorry you are an ugly person.