OP, I think this is a teaching moment for your daughter. Kindness and acceptance needs to start with her and you should absolutely not "hide" from her classmates.

My parents are deaf and I grew up in a time where deafness was not accepted like it is now. People would stare at us no matter where we went. And yes, I would get bullied because of it. But never, ever, did I ask my parents to not come to my school because of those jerks. Your daughter is disrespecting you and your DH needs to lay down the law and tell your daughter that this is not acceptable. Period.

My parents' life was hard enough without me making them feel less than. And your middle school daughter is old enough that she should be able to understand how hurtful her actions are. Honestly, if this is a private school, I would consider pulling her out if these are the kinds of kids she is around all day.

Anonymous wrote:One of my friends who is absolutely beautiful and in shape said her son of a similar age told her to not get out of the car at school because "I don't want people to know I have a mom." Hahahaha.

It's the age more so than anything going on with you OP. Would use as a teaching moment.

Lol this one had me howling.

Aww op I’m sorry I did that to my mom. I said please don’t come in and she said it’s because I’m fat right? It was terrible moment of shame to me and I recall cringing to this day.

But honestly as others said pre teens and teens don’t want anyone to see their moms because it makes them seem less tough, even if you are a supermodel they are embarrassed by you. I think they all want to pretend they are tough orphans lol. Middle school kids really are brutal.

Remember that you living with ms is part of what makes you a survivor and strong role model, and in the long run your daughter will be proud of that and learn from it. It helps if you can start to be proud of that first. But kids and teens will find all our weak spots. It is a blessing and a curse.

Anonymous wrote:I doubt there is a thirteen year old on this earth who doesn’t find her mom embarrassing.

14 is a normal size for an American woman.

Sorry about the MS. Hope it’s doing ok

There are plenty. This is an unfortunate American trait.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt there is a thirteen year old on this earth who doesn’t find her mom embarrassing.

14 is a normal size for an American woman.

Sorry about the MS. Hope it’s doing ok

Size 14 is normal? Yikes – they are looking forward to diabetes, knee and ankle arthritis, high blood pressure, side effects of high blood pressure medicine, strokes and heart attacks at a young age. Throughout history and across the planet, size 14 is not normal or healthy.

Actually when I was size 14 I my BMI was under 25 and I wasn't overweight at all. Size 14 is very normal. All my weight is on hips and thighs which is actually a healthier body type but it did require size 14.

Anonymous wrote:overweight. I suffer from Multiple Sclerosis and now on medication to slow thyroid function I am now about a size 14. I am not sure how I should handle this. She’s asked that her father go instead. She’s cried and stated that they would make fun of me and in turn additionally make fun of her.

How should I address this or do I simply let it go?

It does hurt to hear and in the moment I reassured her it was fine and I would not come into the school as I truly was taken aback by her saying this.

I'm sorry OP- I think kids can feel helpless in these situations. I have a sibling, close in age, with autism and it was a constant source of pain, guilt, and embarrassment at that age. Your DD isn't just worried that they will make fun of her, she is worried they will make fun of you, That's the worst- she'll feel humiliated and angry with you, and guilty that she feels humiliated and angry. That's a lot to process and easy to just avoid by asking you not to go (which I guarantee also makes her feel guilty).
I know people say this, but some therapy could help her sort through the complex emotions. Over time, if handled well, she will develop confidence and maturity...but expecting a MS kid to let bullying roll off or have the gumption to tell mean kids to "eff off" is too much to expect.

Thank you PPs and 18:28 this is incredible Id never heard of it! The responses in here have truly been so helpful for me.

OP, I have a permanent physical disability and I know at times my children have been embarrassed of me (what's wrong with your mom, why do her shoes look like that, why does she walk like that, is there something wrong with her). It can really hurt but it is unfortunately developmentally normal.

A good friend of mine who is a wheelchair user and also shares one of my disabilities helps run the Disabled Parenting Project which is a great resource and you could probably find some support, commiseration and ideas from their community

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can completely understand why you'd feel hurt but I wouldn't force the issue. DH is well over threshold for morbid obesity (60 bmi) and our kids don't want to be seen in public with him. He understands (and doesn't really want to be seen in public either). That is a tough age and some kids are very sensitive to standing out.

Okay but you see the difference between being embarrassed of your mom who probably weighs less than 200 pounds and is about the size of an average woman, and a dad who probably weighs over 400 pounds??

One is understandable and one is ludicrous

PP you are quoting. Yes, I completely see the difference but I'm not a 13 year old girl.

I remember being really worried about people saying things to my mom who was about 20 years older than all the other moms. (Use birth control into your 40s, readers!).

I would gradually start working on building her self confidence so that she doesn’t care as much what people think—or at least doesn’t care what the aholes think. Kids do get there — at some point it becomes a little cool to not give a f— what other people think. My oldest is there now. But I would work on it for issues other than you — basically adopt the attitude that you don’t care what jerks think of you, and you are only seeking approval of people who are actually good people who you respect.

Anonymous wrote:I can completely understand why you'd feel hurt but I wouldn't force the issue. DH is well over threshold for morbid obesity (60 bmi) and our kids don't want to be seen in public with him. He understands (and doesn't really want to be seen in public either). That is a tough age and some kids are very sensitive to standing out.

Okay but you see the difference between being embarrassed of your mom who probably weighs less than 200 pounds and is about the size of an average woman, and a dad who probably weighs over 400 pounds??

One is understandable and one is ludicrous

Anonymous wrote:Man I’m a size 16/18 and I would not tolerate that from my kid. No way.

Same!

OP I am sorry, and sorry about the MS>

Your child is a spoiled brat.

You go and husband go. If she has a problem with that then she can stay home and not go out with friends. Fixed it for her.

She's 14 not a baby, you raised a twat.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Your kid sucks.

Don't be mean.

Her kid is a normal middle schooler. Middle school kids are incredibly mean to each other. They are like animals.

OP can work on this with her kid but it's not gonna get solved in one quick drop-off.

I can completely understand why you'd feel hurt but I wouldn't force the issue. DH is well over threshold for morbid obesity (60 bmi) and our kids don't want to be seen in public with him. He understands (and doesn't really want to be seen in public either). That is a tough age and some kids are very sensitive to standing out.