Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many posters that dislike sports assume parents expect their kids to get a full ride to college or play professionally? Our kids played sports because they enjoyed playing sports and all of the fitness, competitiveness, and camaraderie that came with it. They knew if their grades suffered their activities would be reduced but they always maintained strong grades. None of them wanted to play past HS but they enjoy playing on adult leagues now that they’re out of college and it’s been a great way to meet people and socialize and stay active.

Some people just enjoy playing sports. It isn’t more complicated than that.

I love sports, both watching and playing.

I would not put my kid in travel or club sports unless they were so good that rec leagues and school sports did not makes sense. I don't mean "likes soccer and is reasonably good at it." I mean "they are significantly better than everyone else on the team and there's no option for playing up a level to challenge them that way." And they'd also have to love the sport and really, really want to do it.

This is like 5% of all kids in any given sport. Yes in some communities, 50% or more of the kids in a sport play club sports. It's weird.

I don't think this happens because people, and kids, like sports. I think it happens because people are super competitive and also lemmings.

Da truth right here

Anonymous wrote:It’s all about making high school teams (and the lack of spots available on high school teams at large publics). For many sports, to have a chance to make the team in high school, kids have to play club for years and years. Once some kids started doing club/travel to gain an edge, more followed, and eventually everyone has to do it, or be left behind.

Large high schools (and few spots available on teams) are what causes it all. Most parents know their kids won’t play in college but they want them to have a shot at being part of the traditional high school sports experience.

I grew up in the rural Midwest and attended a small public high school where anyone made the sports teams- everything was no cut. However, not everyone got playing time. From what I’ve heard, the area isn’t much different today. Travel/club sports are not at all common.

The only small high schools in my area (that would offer a low or no-cut experience) are private.

We just decided collectively as a family that if our kids can't make school teams in high school, we will explore rec league options. There are a lot in our area including programs for high school students. If playing at the college level isn't the goal, a rec league can meet your needs and can even offer other benefits, like making friends with kids from other high schools or even, in some leagues, playing with or against adults.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is not asking "why do kids do sports at all." She's asking why we have a culture where sports take up so much time to the exclusion of other things. I am from the US and I often wonder the same thing. I worked hard to raise a kid who is well-rounded. She has a physical activity that is not a sport (dance, we don't do competition dance, just performance and classes), and a solo sport she likes (rock climbing). She's also dabbled in tennis, soccer, and basketball. She also loves art and music. She also has downtime (she likes to read for pleasure and to do art on her own time). And then of course school.

I do not understand how/why many kids are dedicating 20+ hours a week on a single sport or on multiple sports. Unless your kid actually has the talent/dedication (and often natural body type) to go pro or be very competitive at the college level, or is just uniquely passionate about their sport, I don't get it. It's just a lot of time to spend on one thing. Wouldn't you rather your kid become an adult who not has athletic skill but also can play an instrument, has relaxing hobbies/interests, and knows how to deal with unscheduled time? It just seems weird to me.

But it's not really 20+ hours on "one thing." It sounds like OP's kid plays multiple sports; why is your daughter's dance and rock climbing and art inherently better than someone else's soccer and swimming and karate or someone else's violin and piano and science olympiad? Most these are hobbies than can follow them into adulthood and you can't really predict what tween passions will actually stick long term. FWIW, my sister grew up doing ballet and cello; I did figure skating and viola. As an adult she still plays the cello; I still do a performance-based physical activity (and skate for fun occasionally) but haven't touched my viola in nearly a decade.

Maybe soccer/swim/karate kid will grow up to only pursue one of those sports or get really into Crossfit or whatever. Maybe they'll give them all up and discover painting as an adult. Maybe your daughter will later decide she really missed out on not doing travel field hockey. You're letting your daughter do what she wants to do and OP is letting her son do the same. I don't see what the issue is?

1) There are absolutely travel and club sports that require 20+ hours a week of practice and games during the season. And kids who play multiple sports just do this year round, and if sports overlap it may be well over 20+ hours. Kids who do competitive swimming plus a comptetitive team sport, for instance, my have days where between their early morning swim and club sport practice, they are dedicating 5-6 hours to sports in a single day, while also spending 6-7 hours at school.

2) Many other activities just involve one or two classes a week, with no games. It's a much lower time commitment. Even something like an instrument, unless you are crazy about it, you are talking about maybe one lesson a week (50 minutes) and then daily practice which is often like 15-30 minutes. Many families who do this don't require practice on the weekend either, because they are reasonable and don't want to ruin it for their kids. And because it's individual and not inherently competitive, it's easy to customize the time on practics/lessons based on your family's schedule and the child in question, whereas club/travel sports will have requirements where you don't really have a choice and your kid can be penalized if they miss practices or even open gyms.

3) And the obvious difference between a kid who is doing maybe one rec league sport, one school club, and then one non-sport interest is that this kid is well rounded. They may spend 20+ hours total on extra-curriculars during the week, but that will include time doing exercise/athletics, time engaging with art or music, down time engaging with their interests at home in their own way, etc. There are inherent benefits to diversifying your kids interests and letting them try things that don't require a very high time commitment. Many parents actually value these things. Club/travel sports do not leave ANY room for it. It's all or nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many posters that dislike sports assume parents expect their kids to get a full ride to college or play professionally? Our kids played sports because they enjoyed playing sports and all of the fitness, competitiveness, and camaraderie that came with it. They knew if their grades suffered their activities would be reduced but they always maintained strong grades. None of them wanted to play past HS but they enjoy playing on adult leagues now that they’re out of college and it’s been a great way to meet people and socialize and stay active.

Some people just enjoy playing sports. It isn’t more complicated than that.

I love sports, both watching and playing.

I would not put my kid in travel or club sports unless they were so good that rec leagues and school sports did not makes sense. I don't mean "likes soccer and is reasonably good at it." I mean "they are significantly better than everyone else on the team and there's no option for playing up a level to challenge them that way." And they'd also have to love the sport and really, really want to do it.

This is like 5% of all kids in any given sport. Yes in some communities, 50% or more of the kids in a sport play club sports. It's weird.

I don't think this happens because people, and kids, like sports. I think it happens because people are super competitive and also lemmings.

Any kid get to play on a club team? I thought you have to make it at the tryouts, lots of people go to tryouts, few get in, is this incorrect?

For most travel sports, you can find a team willing to take your kid and your money regardless if your kid is good or not.

+1, the whole scam of travel sports is that they convince families that it's "elite" and limited only to the most talented kids, but the truth is that it's just limited to who can pay. Go try and find a kid who wanted to play on a travel team and was unable to do so. Go ahead. You won't find one.

There are elite kids playing on travel teams and some teams are truly elite, but travel sports as a category are not at all. It is a money-making endeavor and it is not in the league's financial interest to actually have high standards for entry. The most I've ever heard in terms of standards is kids who were obviously not interested in playing (especially if they skip practices and definitely if they miss games), the coaches will tell the family that they should not come back the next year. But if the kids are willing to show up and the family will pay? That is the floor required.

It’s all about making high school teams (and the lack of spots available on high school teams at large publics). For many sports, to have a chance to make the team in high school, kids have to play club for years and years. Once some kids started doing club/travel to gain an edge, more followed, and eventually everyone has to do it, or be left behind.

Large high schools (and few spots available on teams) are what causes it all. Most parents know their kids won’t play in college but they want them to have a shot at being part of the traditional high school sports experience.

I grew up in the rural Midwest and attended a small public high school where anyone made the sports teams- everything was no cut. However, not everyone got playing time. From what I’ve heard, the area isn’t much different today. Travel/club sports are not at all common.

The only small high schools in my area (that would offer a low or no-cut experience) are private.

Anonymous wrote:Because that is 20 plus hours of after school time, you can control as a parent, and know they are not getting into trouble. Add weekend tournaments and u know where your child is 24/7

See I don't agree with this. Will some kids get into trouble? Sure, but they may have regardless. Kids, even teens deserve to have free time to just be kids and have fun. They don't deserve to be made to be busy all the time.

We are in a neighborhood that supposedly has a lot of kids, but I barely see them outdoors. Barely anyone bike riding, playing street hockey, or even basketball. Kids don't even walk to their bus stops anymore. Big SUVs park near the bus stop, and children are driven by their parents to the stops. Once the bus comes, the children race to ten feet to their buses.

Most parents have their kids in many different types of sports, but I don't see anyone really doing anything outside of organized sports and their parents trucking them everywhere.

We have some diplomat families who moved to the neighborhood, and they are always wondering where all the children are.

Because that is 20 plus hours of after school time, you can control as a parent, and know they are not getting into trouble. Add weekend tournaments and u know where your child is 24/7

Anonymous wrote:It's the money maker here. Kids in Northern Europe are much more active-many bike or ski to school, have PE almost daily and enjoy sports after school. They understand that only a few make it to top level. Parents and children are not in lalaland. My ex (American) and DS believed here in US that he could make it. I have no idea who sold it to them.
Back at home government supports many programs. Being active saves money long term in health care and keeping kids out of trouble.
Parents are not milked of their money. The few kids who are really gifted, get sponsored really fast.

I lived in MoCo when they cut middle school sports in public schools. The explosion in club soccer followed pretty soon after.

It's the money maker here. Kids in Northern Europe are much more active-many bike or ski to school, have PE almost daily and enjoy sports after school. They understand that only a few make it to top level. Parents and children are not in lalaland. My ex (American) and DS believed here in US that he could make it. I have no idea who sold it to them.
Back at home government supports many programs. Being active saves money long term in health care and keeping kids out of trouble.
Parents are not milked of their money. The few kids who are really gifted, get sponsored really fast.

Anonymous wrote:OP is not asking "why do kids do sports at all." She's asking why we have a culture where sports take up so much time to the exclusion of other things. I am from the US and I often wonder the same thing. I worked hard to raise a kid who is well-rounded. She has a physical activity that is not a sport (dance, we don't do competition dance, just performance and classes), and a solo sport she likes (rock climbing). She's also dabbled in tennis, soccer, and basketball. She also loves art and music. She also has downtime (she likes to read for pleasure and to do art on her own time). And then of course school.

I do not understand how/why many kids are dedicating 20+ hours a week on a single sport or on multiple sports. Unless your kid actually has the talent/dedication (and often natural body type) to go pro or be very competitive at the college level, or is just uniquely passionate about their sport, I don't get it. It's just a lot of time to spend on one thing. Wouldn't you rather your kid become an adult who not has athletic skill but also can play an instrument, has relaxing hobbies/interests, and knows how to deal with unscheduled time? It just seems weird to me.

But it's not really 20+ hours on "one thing." It sounds like OP's kid plays multiple sports; why is your daughter's dance and rock climbing and art inherently better than someone else's soccer and swimming and karate or someone else's violin and piano and science olympiad? Most these are hobbies than can follow them into adulthood and you can't really predict what tween passions will actually stick long term. FWIW, my sister grew up doing ballet and cello; I did figure skating and viola. As an adult she still plays the cello; I still do a performance-based physical activity (and skate for fun occasionally) but haven't touched my viola in nearly a decade.

Maybe soccer/swim/karate kid will grow up to only pursue one of those sports or get really into Crossfit or whatever. Maybe they'll give them all up and discover painting as an adult. Maybe your daughter will later decide she really missed out on not doing travel field hockey. You're letting your daughter do what she wants to do and OP is letting her son do the same. I don't see what the issue is?

As much as I agree with op, I realize after spending all morning on dcum I waste more time on message boards than the kids do on these sports. It's best to repair one's own scheduling priorities first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right that a lot of kids spend a lot of time on sports, but not all do. If it's not the right choice for you and your kids, then just don't do it. You won't be alone.

The issue here is when a parent and child have different desires. The child feels at home and most happy in the competitive team which unnerves the concerned parent who wants the child to have that passion for academics or other varied topics. Op and others are worried the time/attention demand is too much but it is the kid's passion.

Having been through this with two kids, I think the most competitive kids tend to be competitive in all aspects including school and sports.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many posters that dislike sports assume parents expect their kids to get a full ride to college or play professionally? Our kids played sports because they enjoyed playing sports and all of the fitness, competitiveness, and camaraderie that came with it. They knew if their grades suffered their activities would be reduced but they always maintained strong grades. None of them wanted to play past HS but they enjoy playing on adult leagues now that they’re out of college and it’s been a great way to meet people and socialize and stay active.

Some people just enjoy playing sports. It isn’t more complicated than that.

I love sports, both watching and playing.

I would not put my kid in travel or club sports unless they were so good that rec leagues and school sports did not makes sense. I don't mean "likes soccer and is reasonably good at it." I mean "they are significantly better than everyone else on the team and there's no option for playing up a level to challenge them that way." And they'd also have to love the sport and really, really want to do it.

This is like 5% of all kids in any given sport. Yes in some communities, 50% or more of the kids in a sport play club sports. It's weird.

I don't think this happens because people, and kids, like sports. I think it happens because people are super competitive and also lemmings.

Any kid get to play on a club team? I thought you have to make it at the tryouts, lots of people go to tryouts, few get in, is this incorrect?

For most travel sports, you can find a team willing to take your kid and your money regardless if your kid is good or not.

OP, you have your kid on a travel team and two rec teams. You have made these choices. Our kids also like sports, but we have said no to travel teams. Not everyone is fully immersed in the sports culture you've chosen to join, you can say no!

As for academic enrichment, most of the formal outside school activities seem pretty unnecessary to me. It's a race to nowhere. Your kid is still going to be confined by the levels offered at the school so what's the point? I am a big fan of enrichment like taking my kids to museums, performances and cultural events, though. There's plenty of time for that if you drop the travel sport that is sucking up your weekends.