Marry for love, sex, compatibility and friendship.

Anonymous wrote:Anyone here marry a very well off man they met past the age of 28 who is also a truly nice guy. Or is the hope for this pretty much over if you didn't go to school together or something?

You'll be better off if you get rich first and then marry a nice guy.

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Anonymous wrote:At 28 you shouldn’t be looking for rich you should be looking for a grinder who will get there.

Why? There’s no extra points for this.

Hard worker is so much better than family money.

The question is how do you make sure the next generation doesn’t blow it all.

plenty of hard workers never get rich. Startups fail. The boss son gets the promotion. Etc.

And others born into money can lose it all (like Lisa Marie Presley, RIP - she went through $100m). At least if you marry hard working, they can earn it again.

That’s some extreme thinking there on all counts.

This whole thread is extreme thinking, what is your point?

My point is that plenty of people born wealthy don’t blow through it, as a child of a celebrity might. There are lots of wealthy people who are nice and responsible with their money, despite what DCUM wants to see happen to them.

My other point is that hard-working people cannot just “make back” fortunes lost.

And I think that you are better off finding someone hard working as a marriage partner, both for financial and relationship reasons.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:At 28 you shouldn’t be looking for rich you should be looking for a grinder who will get there.

Why? There’s no extra points for this.

Hard worker is so much better than family money.

The question is how do you make sure the next generation doesn’t blow it all.

plenty of hard workers never get rich. Startups fail. The boss son gets the promotion. Etc.

And others born into money can lose it all (like Lisa Marie Presley, RIP - she went through $100m). At least if you marry hard working, they can earn it again.

That’s some extreme thinking there on all counts.

This whole thread is extreme thinking, what is your point?

My point is that plenty of people born wealthy don’t blow through it, as a child of a celebrity might. There are lots of wealthy people who are nice and responsible with their money, despite what DCUM wants to see happen to them.

My other point is that hard-working people cannot just “make back” fortunes lost.

Almost all the nice, wealthy men I know were off the market by 30. If they weren't already married by then, they were at least seriously dating or cohabiting with the women they eventually married. Snapped up in college/grad school (and the women are also smart and nice). Maybe these guys weren't wealthy by 30 but they were certainly on their way.

The rich guys who didn't pair off early are players, and they date younger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:At 28 you shouldn’t be looking for rich you should be looking for a grinder who will get there.

Why? There’s no extra points for this.

Hard worker is so much better than family money.

The question is how do you make sure the next generation doesn’t blow it all.

plenty of hard workers never get rich. Startups fail. The boss son gets the promotion. Etc.

And others born into money can lose it all (like Lisa Marie Presley, RIP - she went through $100m). At least if you marry hard working, they can earn it again.

That’s some extreme thinking there on all counts.

This whole thread is extreme thinking, what is your point?

My advice to those men is, "Never ever get married."

Signed, a moderately wealthy nice man.

Lofty goal, I guess.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 28 you shouldn’t be looking for rich you should be looking for a grinder who will get there.

Why? There’s no extra points for this.

Hard worker is so much better than family money.

The question is how do you make sure the next generation doesn’t blow it all.

plenty of hard workers never get rich. Startups fail. The boss son gets the promotion. Etc.

And others born into money can lose it all (like Lisa Marie Presley, RIP - she went through $100m). At least if you marry hard working, they can earn it again.

That’s some extreme thinking there on all counts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 28 you shouldn’t be looking for rich you should be looking for a grinder who will get there.

Why? There’s no extra points for this.

Hard worker is so much better than family money.

The question is how do you make sure the next generation doesn’t blow it all.

plenty of hard workers never get rich. Startups fail. The boss son gets the promotion. Etc.

And others born into money can lose it all (like Lisa Marie Presley, RIP - she went through $100m). At least if you marry hard working, they can earn it again.

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Anonymous wrote:Signing up to be dependent sounds awful. I'm sure there are some couples who come together naturally and who work this out. I know a few. But the women almost always still make trade offs and need to "ask permission' to do things in ways that make my skin crawl.

My DH and I have discussions about what we want to do. I just took a weekend away with friends, and I ran it by him, but wasn't really looking for permission. I try to be responsible with our money and he knows that. He is now planning a golf weekend with some friends, and I have no problem with that. I know he'll spend where he needs to and be mindful where he needs to.

The difference is that we are a team on equal financial footing. It matters.

Meh, I have way more money than my DH because I inherited it and it’s fine. He doesn’t have to “ask my permission” for anything. He makes enough money to live a fine life but we spend more and if we divorced, he would count on the divorce settlement because we structure our retirement planning etc based on the money we have together. Also because of parenting, I assume he’d get support for whatever (and I would want to give it to him). When we got married, we joined forces.

I know women (and men) in dual income marriages that have to ask permission. Some couples just have this dynamic especially for larger purchases, and it works for them.

Anonymous wrote:Signing up to be dependent sounds awful. I'm sure there are some couples who come together naturally and who work this out. I know a few. But the women almost always still make trade offs and need to "ask permission' to do things in ways that make my skin crawl.

My DH and I have discussions about what we want to do. I just took a weekend away with friends, and I ran it by him, but wasn't really looking for permission. I try to be responsible with our money and he knows that. He is now planning a golf weekend with some friends, and I have no problem with that. I know he'll spend where he needs to and be mindful where he needs to.

The difference is that we are a team on equal financial footing. It matters.

Meh, I have way more money than my DH because I inherited it and it’s fine. He doesn’t have to “ask my permission” for anything. He makes enough money to live a fine life but we spend more and if we divorced, he would count on the divorce settlement because we structure our retirement planning etc based on the money we have together. Also because of parenting, I assume he’d get support for whatever (and I would want to give it to him). When we got married, we joined forces.

If you want to get rich by marrying someone, I think the old fashioned way of finding a rich old guy is the best method. Do the elder care well and with Grace. Being a sexy nurse is really hard work and if you take good care of someone when they’re old, you deserve the money.

Signing up to be dependent sounds awful. I'm sure there are some couples who come together naturally and who work this out. I know a few. But the women almost always still make trade offs and need to "ask permission' to do things in ways that make my skin crawl.

My DH and I have discussions about what we want to do. I just took a weekend away with friends, and I ran it by him, but wasn't really looking for permission. I try to be responsible with our money and he knows that. He is now planning a golf weekend with some friends, and I have no problem with that. I know he'll spend where he needs to and be mindful where he needs to.

The difference is that we are a team on equal financial footing. It matters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 28 you shouldn’t be looking for rich you should be looking for a grinder who will get there.

Why? There’s no extra points for this.

Hard worker is so much better than family money.

The question is how do you make sure the next generation doesn’t blow it all.

plenty of hard workers never get rich. Startups fail. The boss son gets the promotion. Etc.