Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My exH is 49. No social media. Not weird.

I have been seeing a guy for a year without a digital footprint. He works in tech. He is 40.

So he has no Linkedin, never rented an apartment or owned a house? Or did he use a service to clean up his digital print? I would be very concerned dating someone who did this cleanup

He owns a house and everything is in his mothers name. A ton of people in tech have no LinkedIn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would want to know someone's name, phone number, address, place of employment before I dated them past a date or two. Certainly, stick to public venues until you learn more about him.

Wonder if maybe he's a married man?

That was my thought, too. And the house he would take me would be his friend's house and then he ghosts me. Something like that.

Thanks, all. I will decline the dinner date, and would offer him something less casual like a book store coffee to learn each other better. Maybe it's my paranoia but I just don't feel like it and will listen to my gut sense.

You seem like a nut. You go on a date to get to know people; you don’t date the Internet..

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you're too uncomfortable, you might prefer to date men you know through friends/work/hobbies/church or whatever you're into.. As in, a real-life network vs online. That is how it's been done, and it's still not totally safe, there's still a possibility you meet a psycho who pressured short-term acquaintances to vouch for his newest identity.

I like to check up on people online as well (not for dating but other purposes). I know lots of people over 50 who are not easily found online in records, but find it somewhat suspect for under-50yos.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would want to know someone's name, phone number, address, place of employment before I dated them past a date or two. Certainly, stick to public venues until you learn more about him.

Wonder if maybe he's a married man?

That was my thought, too. And the house he would take me would be his friend's house and then he ghosts me. Something like that.

Thanks, all. I will decline the dinner date, and would offer him something less casual like a book store coffee to learn each other better. Maybe it's my paranoia but I just don't feel like it and will listen to my gut sense.

You seem like a nut. You go on a date to get to know people; you don’t date the Internet..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My exH is 49. No social media. Not weird.

I have been seeing a guy for a year without a digital footprint. He works in tech. He is 40.

So he has no Linkedin, never rented an apartment or owned a house? Or did he use a service to clean up his digital print? I would be very concerned dating someone who did this cleanup

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would want to know someone's name, phone number, address, place of employment before I dated them past a date or two. Certainly, stick to public venues until you learn more about him.

Wonder if maybe he's a married man?

That was my thought, too. And the house he would take me would be his friend's house and then he ghosts me. Something like that.

Thanks, all. I will decline the dinner date, and would offer him something less casual like a book store coffee to learn each other better. Maybe it's my paranoia but I just don't feel like it and will listen to my gut sense.

Anonymous wrote:My exH is 49. No social media. Not weird.

I have been seeing a guy for a year without a digital footprint. He works in tech. He is 40.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would not be the reason I didn’t go on a 2nd date with someone. I work with a lot of police officers and they use fake names for social media to protect themselves and their families.

But how would I develop this relationship with someone who I don't really know? He did attempt to hug me so I presume kissing would be expected soon. Shall I raise this issue at the dinner, or counter propose something less formal ?

Are you trolling or do you not realize this is how people dated for centuries

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would not be the reason I didn’t go on a 2nd date with someone. I work with a lot of police officers and they use fake names for social media to protect themselves and their families.

But how would I develop this relationship with someone who I don't really know? He did attempt to hug me so I presume kissing would be expected soon. Shall I raise this issue at the dinner, or counter propose something less formal ?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would not be the reason I didn’t go on a 2nd date with someone. I work with a lot of police officers and they use fake names for social media to protect themselves and their families.

But how would I develop this relationship with someone who I don't really know? He did attempt to hug me so I presume kissing would be expected soon. Shall I raise this issue at the dinner, or counter propose something less formal ?

Dude, what? Did you come out of the womb with friends and a spouse? We all develop relationships with people we didn't really know at one point.
Do you not realize that the whole point of going on the date is to get to know him and potentially develop a relationship?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This would not be the reason I didn’t go on a 2nd date with someone. I work with a lot of police officers and they use fake names for social media to protect themselves and their families.

But how would I develop this relationship with someone who I don't really know? He did attempt to hug me so I presume kissing would be expected soon. Shall I raise this issue at the dinner, or counter propose something less formal ?

Dude, what? Did you come out of the womb with friends and a spouse? We all develop relationships with people we didn't really know at one point.
Do you not realize that the whole point of going on the date is to get to know him and potentially develop a relationship?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would actually prefer a man who doesn't waste his time on social media.

That is different than no online presence at all.

I would be very wary if he isn't even google-able.

Why? I don't google people but I don't see why anyone I've dated would be online. LinkedIn is generally only for white collar jobs.

OP here - and he doesn't' pop up there (by supposedly his city and name). He described a white collar job

Why don't you spend some of this time and energy getting to know him in a public place?
Look, I'm a woman and I'm very aware of the potential dangers of dating. But I still go out and meet people, I do not do background checks, and I do not google. I use my brain, trust my instincts and always have a plan in case something goes wrong.