Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are any of you dieters worried you're going to mess up your metabolisms? Create an unhealthy relationship with food that counter-productively makes binging more likely?

I've been reading that an obsession with weight and calories can do more harm than good.

There is a difference between calorie counting and making healthier food choices. A lot of people find that with cleaner, more selective eating choices, not only does weight come off, but better energy, fewer aches, better sleep follow. If your mindset is to cut calories just to drop weight, I can see this being a problem. But if you change your lifestyle (which can include eating), and like the benefits, you are more likely to keep it up.

Just FYI, plenty of very fit and beautiful women are cheated on every day. It's great you are fit, but it doesn't mean you won't experience cheating. Some of the most beautiful friends I have, have gone through being cheated on...and they have the whole package--fit, gorgeous, great jobs, fun, great moms and wives, etc. In fact, some men cheat because of that inferiority that the feel and affair down to get validation from a woman who feels lucky to be banging him.

The response had nothing to do with cheating. Weird that you turned it into that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I workout for myself. Period. I grew up playing travel soccer very competitively, high school soccer and track, etc. I was always used to training. In my 20s/early 30s I ran many marathons, did Spin classes and prior to that every exercise fad--step aerobics, Jane Fonda in the 80s, etc. I love the feeling of exercise and so need it for my mental health.

Exercise to me is like brushing your teeth. It's something that should be done every day (or almost every day). My off days are yoga.

I have always worked full-time. I have two teens and I'm 52 and my body is fit and my skin is clear. Genetics have meant I never looked skinny and I was never skinny---I have more of a J-Lo or fit curvier body--but its more like Jennifer Aniston with age.

I like fashion and I like myself when I'm fit. I'm not depressed.

I am aging very well and have modeled good habits for my teen sons.

For women, in particular, I think athletics as kids/teens is so important. I knew the way inside and out of a weight room and what pushing yourself to the limits and be mentally tough from that. Some people never learn that and have a hard time picking up exercise for the first time in middle age.

So you’re type A, without saying you’re Type A

Ha. You know it's funny. I'm very lazy about everything else. I'm not a great at cleaning/keeping the house my husband does that. It takes a lot to get me motivated in other areas of life. Yet with grades in school and exercise I leaned towards type A...every single other thing I am a huge type B. I was awful on maternity leaves without structure...making a call to schedule an appointment seemed over-whelming. I need a lot of structure in my life. I guess exercise provides some of that.

But, you wouldn't call be type A if you met me outwardly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are any of you dieters worried you're going to mess up your metabolisms? Create an unhealthy relationship with food that counter-productively makes binging more likely?

I've been reading that an obsession with weight and calories can do more harm than good.

There is a difference between calorie counting and making healthier food choices. A lot of people find that with cleaner, more selective eating choices, not only does weight come off, but better energy, fewer aches, better sleep follow. If your mindset is to cut calories just to drop weight, I can see this being a problem. But if you change your lifestyle (which can include eating), and like the benefits, you are more likely to keep it up.

Just FYI, plenty of very fit and beautiful women are cheated on every day. It's great you are fit, but it doesn't mean you won't experience cheating. Some of the most beautiful friends I have, have gone through being cheated on...and they have the whole package--fit, gorgeous, great jobs, fun, great moms and wives, etc. In fact, some men cheat because of that inferiority that the feel and affair down to get validation from a woman who feels lucky to be banging him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I workout for myself. Period. I grew up playing travel soccer very competitively, high school soccer and track, etc. I was always used to training. In my 20s/early 30s I ran many marathons, did Spin classes and prior to that every exercise fad--step aerobics, Jane Fonda in the 80s, etc. I love the feeling of exercise and so need it for my mental health.

Exercise to me is like brushing your teeth. It's something that should be done every day (or almost every day). My off days are yoga.

I have always worked full-time. I have two teens and I'm 52 and my body is fit and my skin is clear. Genetics have meant I never looked skinny and I was never skinny---I have more of a J-Lo or fit curvier body--but its more like Jennifer Aniston with age.

I like fashion and I like myself when I'm fit. I'm not depressed.

I am aging very well and have modeled good habits for my teen sons.

For women, in particular, I think athletics as kids/teens is so important. I knew the way inside and out of a weight room and what pushing yourself to the limits and be mentally tough from that. Some people never learn that and have a hard time picking up exercise for the first time in middle age.

So you’re type A, without saying you’re Type A

Anonymous wrote:DH aside, I would look at 50lbs and wonder what it means for my long term health. I get weight loss challenges: I went through early menopause at 42, and I have thyroid issues. But I continue to fight the fight against my weight because I worry about things like Type 2 diabetes, issues with my heart and arteries, and wear and tear on joints.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are any of you dieters worried you're going to mess up your metabolisms? Create an unhealthy relationship with food that counter-productively makes binging more likely?

I've been reading that an obsession with weight and calories can do more harm than good.

There is a difference between calorie counting and making healthier food choices. A lot of people find that with cleaner, more selective eating choices, not only does weight come off, but better energy, fewer aches, better sleep follow. If your mindset is to cut calories just to drop weight, I can see this being a problem. But if you change your lifestyle (which can include eating), and like the benefits, you are more likely to keep it up.

Anonymous wrote:I workout for myself. Period. I grew up playing travel soccer very competitively, high school soccer and track, etc. I was always used to training. In my 20s/early 30s I ran many marathons, did Spin classes and prior to that every exercise fad--step aerobics, Jane Fonda in the 80s, etc. I love the feeling of exercise and so need it for my mental health.

Exercise to me is like brushing your teeth. It's something that should be done every day (or almost every day). My off days are yoga.

I have always worked full-time. I have two teens and I'm 52 and my body is fit and my skin is clear. Genetics have meant I never looked skinny and I was never skinny---I have more of a J-Lo or fit curvier body--but its more like Jennifer Aniston with age.

I like fashion and I like myself when I'm fit. I'm not depressed.

I am aging very well and have modeled good habits for my teen sons.

For women, in particular, I think athletics as kids/teens is so important. I knew the way inside and out of a weight room and what pushing yourself to the limits and be mentally tough from that. Some people never learn that and have a hard time picking up exercise for the first time in middle age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and I appreciate the comments. On some level I wish being thin was more important to me, but it just isn’t. I have a demanding job that is rewarding (and I love). My children play travel sports so we are frequently traveling. I know how to make good food choices, it just isn’t easy with our lifestyle and I’m not really motivated to do so. I still like and enjoy some unhealthy food.

Regarding health, many women in my family are overweight. My grandmother was over 300 and she lived to 93. She was active, traveled, and her weight didn't seem to hold her back. Maybe this is why I don’t feel a health need to lose weight. It feels like more of an aesthetic issue.

DH is kind and doesn’t shame me for my weight. He is very fit and runs/lifts almost daily. We still exercise together and have an active lifestyle. He doesn’t seem to like that my weight also affects what I wear. But I’m 50, and I have no interest in dressing sexy at my age. If I were to lose weight, it would be to look better for him. I’m not internally motivated to try to be hot over 50.

If he runs and lifts daily, your weight bothers him a lot more than he's letting on. You should never be complacent in your marriage. Cheaters don't weigh the consequences before cheating -- they think with another head. Gaining 50 pounds is a bait and switch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eat healthy and exercise for yourself. Don't get caught up in calorie deficits or agonizing over the scale. Starvation, diets that rely on strict denial of foods, and maniacal exercise goals are going to cause more dysfunction and misery than a few extra pounds. So, I mean don't be a lump on the couch binging ice cream for months at a time. But if you're weighing your carrots on a food scale before you go run 20 miles, that's not right either.

On the relationship side, my guess is that focusing on being good at sex will be a lot easier and more rewarding to both of you than whatever it is you need to do to maintain a certain weight. I don't know your husband, but my strong suspicion is that if you're a hellcat in bed, 180# or whatever it happens to be will be A-OK with your husband.

Hellcat?

What's the issue with that? Substitute with "fun in bed" if that word is problematic.

If you have to ask

Really, I do have to ask. I have no clue why using "hellcat" as a colorful description for "good in bed" is a bad thing. I don't know if you're unable to articulate the issue or simply unwilling. You're clearly under no obligation. But the nature of your objection is not clear to me.

It will never be clear to people like you. Just move on.

Women shouldn't have to be good at sex any more than they should have to be appealing to the male gaze. Expectations that they be "pretty" or "exciting in bed" are patriarchal.

This viewpoint is so tired.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are any of you dieters worried you're going to mess up your metabolisms? Create an unhealthy relationship with food that counter-productively makes binging more likely?

I've been reading that an obsession with weight and calories can do more harm than good.

It’s not dieting to track calories and realize oh wow X is 300 calories, who knew.

Adding 1/2 avocado to my turkey sandwich adds 170 calories a tomato slice 22 calories.

Its education

The avocado has more nutritional value.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eat healthy and exercise for yourself. Don't get caught up in calorie deficits or agonizing over the scale. Starvation, diets that rely on strict denial of foods, and maniacal exercise goals are going to cause more dysfunction and misery than a few extra pounds. So, I mean don't be a lump on the couch binging ice cream for months at a time. But if you're weighing your carrots on a food scale before you go run 20 miles, that's not right either.

On the relationship side, my guess is that focusing on being good at sex will be a lot easier and more rewarding to both of you than whatever it is you need to do to maintain a certain weight. I don't know your husband, but my strong suspicion is that if you're a hellcat in bed, 180# or whatever it happens to be will be A-OK with your husband.

Hellcat?

What's the issue with that? Substitute with "fun in bed" if that word is problematic.

If you have to ask

Really, I do have to ask. I have no clue why using "hellcat" as a colorful description for "good in bed" is a bad thing. I don't know if you're unable to articulate the issue or simply unwilling. You're clearly under no obligation. But the nature of your objection is not clear to me.

It will never be clear to people like you. Just move on.

Women shouldn't have to be good at sex any more than they should have to be appealing to the male gaze. Expectations that they be "pretty" or "exciting in bed" are patriarchal.