Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Actually, I had no idea they were so strict on certain things! DH said he was ok marrying outside of the church, and I went obliviously along with it. I'm definitely not considering joining or attending mass, but I don't want to stand in his way, and I'm afraid I am, just by virtue of not wanting to be involved myself.

My wife was raised Catholic and she insisted on marrying outside the church because we would have had to pledge to raise our kids Catholic. We are now the parents of two happily non-Catholic kids. I don't know if you have kids or plan to someday, but it might have been a factor for him.

We have kids, baptized outside the Catholic church. He says they're the reason he left for good, but there's that nagging doubt that it's me (we had fights about me attending mass when we were first married). I mean, clergy of all denominations have abused children, so it seems like a tenuous reason for cutting ties completely with one specific church. Right?

Why don't you just take him at his word?

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

I'm not interested in going somewhere I can't fully participate. The Eucharist is meaningful to me, so skipping a week to sit at his church like a lump when I could be worshiping isn't something I'm willing to do. I'm totally ok if he goes, though.

Why don't you both go to mass together and try it out? What are you afraid of?

Why anyone supports the Catholic Church and their hiding of this awful perpetuation of crimes against children is beyond me. You want to give money to support that? Don’t feel guilty. Go to the church you do and enjoy it. God doesn’t care what church you go to.

My wife was/is Catholic when we got married, and I was Presbyterian. Since I had previously been married (less than 2 years and no kids), we looked into getting my marriage annulled, but to no avail, and I was not allowed to take Mass or get married at the Catholic church.

I let her have the responsibility of raising our kids catholic since I did not want to support a church that was so restrictive.

That backfired when she agreed that we could raise the kids in our Presbyterian church and I would have to be as involved (and I was never that religious - but my parents are very socially religious). Five years down the line when our multiple kids started doing travel soccer, we now only go to church on big holidays and have not been since Covid except for Christmas Mass.

I have not felt guilty, but our lives our busy, and if she pushed, we would go more often - I don't fight the idea.

Anonymous wrote:It’s between him and God honey. Just don’t stand in between him and his God

His God?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s his fault not yours. But the good news is, your husband, by the grace of God, can and likely will return to the church eventually, perhaps in his old age. Just don’t block his way when that time comes!

What? It happens all the time. Notorious profligates like Frank Sinatra and Oscar Wilde are famous examples.

It’s between him and God honey. Just don’t stand in between him and his God

Your husband is the Catholic, it is his responsibility and ultimately his choice to practice his faith. That being said, if you really dont mind his practicing his religion, you could mention that to him and then let him decide.

Anonymous wrote:It’s his fault not yours. But the good news is, your husband, by the grace of God, can and likely will return to the church eventually, perhaps in his old age. Just don’t block his way when that time comes!

Anonymous wrote:
You missed the phrase "more likely."

This. Plus the fact that some other religions allow women to be leaders while Catholics don't.

It’s his fault not yours. But the good news is, your husband, by the grace of God, can and likely will return to the church eventually, perhaps in his old age. Just don’t block his way when that time comes!

I learned a lot of what I know about Catholicism from Monty Python.

MR. HARRY BLACKITT: Look at them, bloody Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can't afford to bloody feed.

MRS. BLACKITT: What are we dear?

MR. BLACKITT: Protestant, and fiercely proud of it

MRS. BLACKITT: Hmm. Well, why do they have so many children?
MR. BLACKITT: Because... every time they have sexual intercourse, they have to have a baby
...
MR. BLACKITT: No, no. I mean, because we are members of the Protestant Reformed Church, which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid- sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue.
...
MR. BLACKITT: ...and, by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller, I could insure... that, when I came off, you would not be impregnated.
...
MR. BLACKITT: That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's why it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for anyone who respects the individual and the individual's right to decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in fifteen- seventeen, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas,...
...
MR. BLACKITT: But they-- Well, they cannot, 'cause their church never made the great leap out of the Middle Ages and the domination of alien episcopal supremacy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We have kids, baptized outside the Catholic church. He says they're the reason he left for good, but there's that nagging doubt that it's me (we had fights about me attending mass when we were first married). I mean, clergy of all denominations have abused children, so it seems like a tenuous reason for cutting ties completely with one specific church. Right?

I'm sure this is true. However, given that Catholic priests are limited to men who choose not to marry, I feel like they are statistically more likely to be abusers.
Having said that, parents can forbid their kids from being in any situation that puts them alone with their religious leader.

That makes absolutely no sense. Married men abuse children all the time.

You missed the phrase "more likely."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider that you've actually saved him and his future children from being in a religion that has ruined the lives of many children and many women.

You were just the push / excuse he needed to get out.

We're still Christian.

Well, that’s pretty broad. Christian covers everything from Eastern Orthodox to snake handling Pentecostals. Which brand are you? I could never attend one of those feel good mega churches with a rock band and light show. The Righteous Gemstones is like a documentary of that sort out of church.

Interesting perspective (and probably more common). For me, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam all seem similar in the grand scheme of things. But I know that there was a time when, for example, Presbyterians and Methodists fought like cats and dogs.