Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid would love playdate, but he is also fine without playdate. My home is small and messy, and I cannot hold becauae I have younger child at home. There are some parents have reached out to me saying that there's do playdate sonetimes because their kids like my kid. I always say yes and sure. But often, things were dropped there and I don't understand why. They say their kids want to do playdate, but most do not offer a date/time/location. I don't folliw up because I know that I can't offer at my house, so I wait for them to ask them. It has happened a few times, abd I wonder why. Do pople just ask for playdate sometimes out of blue bug do not really mean it? They have invited my kud to their bday party in group, and so do we.

This is silly. Offer to meet at a playground, or take the kids to an arcade or the bowling alley. You don’t have to host in your home to take some initiative.

I agree with the second poster. I have hosted many a play date. 1. Kids don't care how messy your home is. 2. If your home truly is that out of control, take the kids to a local playground. Or trampoline park or monster golf or any other place outside your house

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid would love playdate, but he is also fine without playdate. My home is small and messy, and I cannot hold becauae I have younger child at home. There are some parents have reached out to me saying that there's do playdate sonetimes because their kids like my kid. I always say yes and sure. But often, things were dropped there and I don't understand why. They say their kids want to do playdate, but most do not offer a date/time/location. I don't folliw up because I know that I can't offer at my house, so I wait for them to ask them. It has happened a few times, abd I wonder why. Do pople just ask for playdate sometimes out of blue bug do not really mean it? They have invited my kud to their bday party in group, and so do we.

This is silly. Offer to meet at a playground, or take the kids to an arcade or the bowling alley. You don’t have to host in your home to take some initiative.

Reciprocating can be in all forms. My son has one friend who never hosts but always offers to drive my kid to sports and birthdays. If I am ever in a pinch and can’t pick up, she always offers. I sincerely appreciate that.

My oldest has a group of friends and we all take turns hosting. It works best this way. One of the kids has divorced parents and both divorced parents host.

If a kid never reciprocates, unless he is my child’s best friend, I will move on. They can be school friends.

My child had a friend whose parents were always flaky with plans we had, were always late and often would not respond at all. They divorced. I still continues to reach out even if they never reciprocated. I knew they had a lot going on. The mom used to say my son was his son’s favorite best friend. Our kids now go to different schools and we don’t talk to them.

Anonymous wrote:My kid would love playdate, but he is also fine without playdate. My home is small and messy, and I cannot hold becauae I have younger child at home. There are some parents have reached out to me saying that there's do playdate sonetimes because their kids like my kid. I always say yes and sure. But often, things were dropped there and I don't understand why. They say their kids want to do playdate, but most do not offer a date/time/location. I don't folliw up because I know that I can't offer at my house, so I wait for them to ask them. It has happened a few times, abd I wonder why. Do pople just ask for playdate sometimes out of blue bug do not really mean it? They have invited my kud to their bday party in group, and so do we.

This is silly. Offer to meet at a playground, or take the kids to an arcade or the bowling alley. You don’t have to host in your home to take some initiative.

Anonymous wrote:The request is rude, but also I’m the kind of person who doesn’t mind always hosting. It is a favor to me if my kid has a friend and is occupied. Send em here! You aren’t that way and that’s okay, too. Just say you can’t host this time.

I’m the same. Actually prefer hosting but only agree when it’s convenient (enough). Don’t mind lack of reciprocity if my kid likes them. Would try not to spend too much energy on them; just say yes or no and move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t think we’re on the same page. Are you asking for Sally to come over to your house for a play date, or are you asking me to babysit Jane in my home?”

+100

This is good.

It’s good if you don’t want your child to be friends with this child any more.

The request is rude, but also I’m the kind of person who doesn’t mind always hosting. It is a favor to me if my kid has a friend and is occupied. Send em here! You aren’t that way and that’s okay, too. Just say you can’t host this time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t think we’re on the same page. Are you asking for Sally to come over to your house for a play date, or are you asking me to babysit Jane in my home?”

+100

This is good.

We very rarely do playdates at anyone’s house— we always meet up at a playground or some other neutral location. I always make this clear when initiating— I would never invite myself or my kid to someone’s house (& I also usually don’t want to host).

Anonymous wrote:“I don’t think we’re on the same page. Are you asking for Sally to come over to your house for a play date, or are you asking me to babysit Jane in my home?”

+100

Anonymous wrote:My kid would love playdate, but he is also fine without playdate. My home is small and messy, and I cannot hold becauae I have younger child at home. There are some parents have reached out to me saying that there's do playdate sonetimes because their kids like my kid. I always say yes and sure. But often, things were dropped there and I don't understand why. They say their kids want to do playdate, but most do not offer a date/time/location. I don't folliw up because I know that I can't offer at my house, so I wait for them to ask them. It has happened a few times, abd I wonder why. Do pople just ask for playdate sometimes out of blue bug do not really mean it? They have invited my kud to their bday party in group, and so do we.

If your child has been hosted for play dates and you have never reciprocated, that is beyond rude.

Clean your house. Why is your house “messy”? “Messy” is the permanent state of the home your child grows up in? Fix that. A house can be small, clean and cozy. Small does not have to equal “messy.” Don’t do that to your child.

“I don’t think we’re on the same page. Are you asking for Sally to come over to your house for a play date, or are you asking me to babysit Jane in my home?”

Anonymous wrote:My kid would love playdate, but he is also fine without playdate. My home is small and messy, and I cannot hold becauae I have younger child at home. There are some parents have reached out to me saying that there's do playdate sonetimes because their kids like my kid. I always say yes and sure. But often, things were dropped there and I don't understand why. They say their kids want to do playdate, but most do not offer a date/time/location. I don't folliw up because I know that I can't offer at my house, so I wait for them to ask them. It has happened a few times, abd I wonder why. Do pople just ask for playdate sometimes out of blue bug do not really mean it? They have invited my kud to their bday party in group, and so do we.

This makes no sense whatsoever. Clean up and host. A small house and having a younger child are not reasons to refuse to host.

Anonymous wrote:My kid would love playdate, but he is also fine without playdate. My home is small and messy, and I cannot hold becauae I have younger child at home. There are some parents have reached out to me saying that there's do playdate sonetimes because their kids like my kid. I always say yes and sure. But often, things were dropped there and I don't understand why. They say their kids want to do playdate, but most do not offer a date/time/location. I don't folliw up because I know that I can't offer at my house, so I wait for them to ask them. It has happened a few times, abd I wonder why. Do pople just ask for playdate sometimes out of blue bug do not really mean it? They have invited my kud to their bday party in group, and so do we.

if they’ve already hosted your kid they may be hoping you will reciprocate. You should, even in a small/messy house with younger siblings. Do you really think only only children in clean large houses have play dates?

My kid would love playdate, but he is also fine without playdate. My home is small and messy, and I cannot hold becauae I have younger child at home. There are some parents have reached out to me saying that there's do playdate sonetimes because their kids like my kid. I always say yes and sure. But often, things were dropped there and I don't understand why. They say their kids want to do playdate, but most do not offer a date/time/location. I don't folliw up because I know that I can't offer at my house, so I wait for them to ask them. It has happened a few times, abd I wonder why. Do pople just ask for playdate sometimes out of blue bug do not really mean it? They have invited my kud to their bday party in group, and so do we.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t argue about this and force yourself to her home. She clearly wants a play date at your place only, for whatever reason. You don’t want this, so ignore. I would not be comfortable pushing for a playdate at this persons home.

Agree.

And to the people excusing her rude behavior because maybe her house is small, has animals, or whatever- still not ok. It is always rude to invite yourself/kid over someone else’s house after asking them if they’d like playdate. It is an an awkward bait and switch. There are plenty of alternatives to her own house that this woman could suggest and offer to meet OP. But she doesn’t, likely because that would involve her actually staying and watching her kid for the duration of the playdate.