Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 19:14     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
When I was around that age (perhaps a bit younger), my parents warned me our cat was very sick and let me stay up late one night to spend extra time with him. The next day I came home from school to find out he had died. In retrospect no one ever told me how he died (a lie by omission). But I pieced it together later on that they knew he was being put down and wanted to give me the opportunity to say goodbye without having to explain euthanasia.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 19:05     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
Also, I’m still kind of mad at my mom for just taking the dog to the vet while I was at school. He was my dog, I taught him tricks, I gave him baths, he slept next to my bed….I should have been with him if that was the end.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 19:03     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
I think you need to tell the truth. My kids were 5, 8 and 10 when we put down our beloved golden retriever and we were honest. What we stressed was —

he was miserable and scared. His tumor had invaded his airway and he was struggling to breathe and it was scary for him. There was not a way to fix it.

Part of taking care of a pet is making sure they have good medical care and that they don’t suffer. The dog depended on us to make those decisions for him and it would be as cruel to him to fail him in that as it would be to fail to feed him or play with him. He needs us and this was our final act of love to him.

Dogs have much shorter lives than human. This is a good thing because it means that dogs don’t generally outlive their humans, which is the saddest things for dogs. We get to take care of them for their whole lives which is such a blessing for us and for them. It also means that we have the privilege of having multiple dogs through our lives. I was so sad when my childhood dog died. But it was so wonderful that I was able to get this dog after your dad and I got married. So I was so lucky to be able to take care of two dogs from puppy through to old age.

Honestly I hope point 2 sunk in because when it’s time to pull the plug on me, I hope my kids will see it as their final act of love.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 18:52     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I was almost 13 when our parents put our dog to sleep. Even at that age, even having seen her have a couple of strokes, lose her hearing (not all, just a lot), lose a lot of energy, wind up lost and confused in our basement, I was STILL beyond very upset with my parents. "They could develop a cure for this at any time!"

Honestly, it wasn't until I was in my 40's and my brother's dog deteriorated and they put her to sleep that I truly understood. She was not enjoying her life. She was not happy.

So yeah, lie to her and tell her you were going to have the dog put to sleep next week but she died in her sleep so no need. Make sure your DD says goodbye to the dog each day before school.


Same. I was 13 when my parents put our cat down. As an adult, I can fully respect their decision *and* call up very negative emotions whenever I think of the actual act. Tell your daughter that the animal seems to be failing. When she comes home, say the animal died. IF she asks, then say you took her to the vet and together you decided it was best. When you go in there, you can even check with the vet so it’s not a lie.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 18:51     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
Anonymous wrote:I was almost 13 when our parents put our dog to sleep. Even at that age, even having seen her have a couple of strokes, lose her hearing (not all, just a lot), lose a lot of energy, wind up lost and confused in our basement, I was STILL beyond very upset with my parents. "They could develop a cure for this at any time!"

Honestly, it wasn't until I was in my 40's and my brother's dog deteriorated and they put her to sleep that I truly understood. She was not enjoying her life. She was not happy.

So yeah, lie to her and tell her you were going to have the dog put to sleep next week but she died in her sleep so no need. Make sure your DD says goodbye to the dog each day before school.


Same. I was 13 when my parents put our cat down. As an adult, I can fully resurrect their decision *and* call up very negative emotions whenever I think of the actual act. Tell your daughter that the animal seems to be failing. When she comes home, say the animal died. IF she asks, then say you took her to the vet and together you decided it was best. When you go in there, you can even check with the vet so it’s not a lie.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 18:45     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
I would be honest and give her the option of being there or not being there. It will be worse if you honestly answer questions later and then she finds out it happened in your house. I think that would be harder for a child than hearing it happened at the vet, if they didn’t know it was happening and it was quietly planned.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 18:37     Subject: Re:Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the PPs. Euthanizing the dog is part of being a responsible animal owner. It’s okay if she’s upset about it. You’re the adult. Do it, explain it, and let her be upset about it. She’ll understand it later. I might give her the option of being present or saying goodbye before the process.


+1

Came here to post the same. This is part of owning a pet. It sucks, but it is a critical responsibility and 9 years old is old enough to be able to have honest conversations about it.


+2. I don’t think it’s “rushing” adulthood to have age-appropriate conversations about death. I think it’s gross to lie to kids because you’re afraid of a tough conversation.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 17:39     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
Anonymous wrote:Tell her the truth. Explain how dogs can’t tell us when they are suffering, but we, along with their vet, can see the signs. Our pets will often continue living even through suffering because they want to please us as companions. I suggest explaining that to her, so she doesn’t think you are just making this decision based on your own feelings.

I’m very sorry for your family’s loss. It is so hard to say goodbye to a beloved pet.


Totally agree (I posted the same idea right after you without seeing this post, sorry).
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 17:38     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
Be honest.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 17:37     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
Pp again...we had a large elderly dog with severe arthritis and it was so hard to decide when to euthanize, because he was still up and about at times, and happy to see us, usually. I kept thinking "well he seems to have some life left in him..." When the vet said "he's a very stoic dog, he doesn't show his pain in his personality," I understood.

We've had several cats and I have noticed the vets often won't come right out and suggest euthanizing, but if I say "do you think it's time?" They will say yes.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 17:31     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
Remind your child that animals hide their suffering. It's probably apparent that the dog is older, slow, skinny, unable to walk around very well etc etc. But remind your child that animals cannot tell us that they're in pain, or they feel sick. Even though it seems like he's happy when he gets up to greet you with a wagging tail, it's probably very painful for him to do so. I think explaining this to our son helped with the idea of euthanasia.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 17:19     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
Tell her the truth. Explain how dogs can’t tell us when they are suffering, but we, along with their vet, can see the signs. Our pets will often continue living even through suffering because they want to please us as companions. I suggest explaining that to her, so she doesn’t think you are just making this decision based on your own feelings.

I’m very sorry for your family’s loss. It is so hard to say goodbye to a beloved pet.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 17:07     Subject: Re:Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
I would be honest. If you are not, it will make it difficult to discuss down the road, especially since it is a beloved pet. It's a part of your family history that you will have to either lie about forever, or admit eventually.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 16:59     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
I was honest with my kids at age 5 and 8. They understood our cat was old. We gave them a chance to say goodbye and they had closure.
Anonymous
Post 12/30/2022 16:52     Subject: Tell 9 yo we're euthanizing dog, or just say the dog died?
We euthanized our dog when my youngest DD was nine. We let all of the kids know so they could have a chance to say goodbye. We explained how she was suffering, and it was the loving thing to do for her, even though it was very hard for us.