I have an autistic 4 year old and two nt kids, and I feel your pain. I recommend dropping all expectations that it’s your vacation and you’ll do things you enjoy. You’ve just got to get through it. Here’s how I would spend the day: Wake up and one parent takes the other child to the beach. Let the 4 year old know they can go to the ocean when they have sunscreen. And then just wait them out. I would let him wear anything as long as his bottom is covered. I would let him stay at the ocean until he’s ready to leave and just get take out. I do not enjoy eating out w my kids and have given up on it for now. Basically the adults take turns with the 4 year old and let him do what he wants, for this trip, for peace.

Many truly awful vacations over here, too, OP, so you have my sympathies. We were kicked out of Epcot and once I had to run the wrong way up an escalator at an airport and sliced my leg open. It is so hard and you feel so sad for your other child and yourselves.

Survival mode is the thing. Forget discipline or consequences for the next few days. Do what you can to survive the vacation. Who cares what he wears to the beach? Switch off the parents so one can rest. Grandparent can hopefully care for your other child sometimes?
Feed that kid at the beach and then chill at the hotel, the other parent can eat in restaurants with the rest of the family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear this is happening to you. This is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. My one comment would be to insist on food if you can—the kid may be hungry and need raw almonds or another healthy snack. Hungry kids are terrible.

Hope vacation goes better.

+1 to “this is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. Signed mom of ADHD and ASD teen

My kid only has epilepsy and is like OP’s kid, so maybe you don’t know as much as you think you do about this kid’s particular issues.

Seriously. My kid is also very similar. The other children we know with pediatric epilepsy are all intellectually disabled and profoundly impacted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear this is happening to you. This is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. My one comment would be to insist on food if you can—the kid may be hungry and need raw almonds or another healthy snack. Hungry kids are terrible.

Hope vacation goes better.

+1 to “this is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. Signed mom of ADHD and ASD teen

He has EPILEPSY. Read the post. Epilepsy diagnosed at this age is entirely different.

How so?

Epilepsy sucks but it doesn’t cause behavioral issues.

- parent of kid with epilepsy at this age

Epilepsy, and responses to epilepsy meds look incredibly different from child to child. The fact that it didn't cause behavioral issues with your kid doesn't mean it doesn't for the next kid.

-- Special educator who has worked with many kids with epilepsy each impacted uniquely.

Got it.

Guess our whole extended family of epileptics got lucky. Only the people with ADHD had behavioral issues. Along with the non-epileptics with ADHD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear this is happening to you. This is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. My one comment would be to insist on food if you can—the kid may be hungry and need raw almonds or another healthy snack. Hungry kids are terrible.

Hope vacation goes better.

+1 to “this is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. Signed mom of ADHD and ASD teen

My kid only has epilepsy and is like OP’s kid, so maybe you don’t know as much as you think you do about this kid’s particular issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear this is happening to you. This is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. My one comment would be to insist on food if you can—the kid may be hungry and need raw almonds or another healthy snack. Hungry kids are terrible.

Hope vacation goes better.

+1 to “this is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. Signed mom of ADHD and ASD teen

He has EPILEPSY. Read the post. Epilepsy diagnosed at this age is entirely different.

How so?

Epilepsy sucks but it doesn’t cause behavioral issues.

- parent of kid with epilepsy at this age

Epilepsy, and responses to epilepsy meds look incredibly different from child to child. The fact that it didn't cause behavioral issues with your kid doesn't mean it doesn't for the next kid.

-- Special educator who has worked with many kids with epilepsy each impacted uniquely.

Epilepsy is a symptom of a brain based condition and the condition, the epilepsy and the medication all can and very often do cause behavioral issues.

-a pediatric neurologist fellow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear this is happening to you. This is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. My one comment would be to insist on food if you can—the kid may be hungry and need raw almonds or another healthy snack. Hungry kids are terrible.

Hope vacation goes better.

+1 to “this is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. Signed mom of ADHD and ASD teen

He has EPILEPSY. Read the post. Epilepsy diagnosed at this age is entirely different.

How so?

Epilepsy sucks but it doesn’t cause behavioral issues.

- parent of kid with epilepsy at this age

Epilepsy, and responses to epilepsy meds look incredibly different from child to child. The fact that it didn't cause behavioral issues with your kid doesn't mean it doesn't for the next kid.

-- Special educator who has worked with many kids with epilepsy each impacted uniquely.

Anonymous wrote:Also OP, four was the hardest with my similar kid physically. I was a wreck. He is still tough but now it’s my poor mind. My body gets a rest though.

And my kid is also huge - 110 at 9, and 5’3”. He was so hard to wrangle and wrangle I had to do for a while there.

Also OP, four was the hardest with my similar kid physically. I was a wreck. He is still tough but now it’s my poor mind. My body gets a rest though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the replies. I’m not looking for help with comprehensive diagnostic or long term behavioral techniques. We have done all the things. We have an epileptologist, neuropsychologist, developmental pediatrician, geneticist, and all the therapies.

I’m just trying to figure out how to survive the next few days.

I’ve severely Injured my back from carrying/wrangling/wrestling him and now can barely walk, and DH is completely depleted. I’m feeling really worried about how to survive the day.

We have all the things too, OP with my very very similar child. When things are this bad we need to revisit meds with the epileptologist. Take videos, let them know what you’re seeing, and email them. Directly.

100% I am sorry OP, I don't think this will be solved in the next few days. Take care of yourself, and make some appointments.

Do you keep an epilepsy diary? Moods, medication time, meals, amount of sleep, etc. All very helpful data used to by your epiletologist.

Is the neurologist also treating the ADHD?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the replies. I’m not looking for help with comprehensive diagnostic or long term behavioral techniques. We have done all the things. We have an epileptologist, neuropsychologist, developmental pediatrician, geneticist, and all the therapies.

I’m just trying to figure out how to survive the next few days.

I’ve severely Injured my back from carrying/wrangling/wrestling him and now can barely walk, and DH is completely depleted. I’m feeling really worried about how to survive the day.

Drop all demands. Let him wear what he wants to the beach. Spray sunscreen and give up. Bring food there. Switch off parents and rest your back.

+1

We call it survival mode. Stay in the hotel and watch TV if that’s easier (IMO video games make it worse but TV seems ok). Stay at the beach all day if that’s easier. Go for a drive if he’s exhausted and will nap in the car. Once you’re at the beach it’s easier to sneak in a few quick sprays of sunscreen.

4-5 is especially tough because if they are delayed they can have toddler skills with kid bodies.

Sorry, OP. Hope you and your DH can catch some breaks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the replies. I’m not looking for help with comprehensive diagnostic or long term behavioral techniques. We have done all the things. We have an epileptologist, neuropsychologist, developmental pediatrician, geneticist, and all the therapies.

I’m just trying to figure out how to survive the next few days.

I’ve severely Injured my back from carrying/wrangling/wrestling him and now can barely walk, and DH is completely depleted. I’m feeling really worried about how to survive the day.

We have all the things too, OP with my very very similar child. When things are this bad we need to revisit meds with the epileptologist. Take videos, let them know what you’re seeing, and email them. Directly.

100% I am sorry OP, I don't think this will be solved in the next few days. Take care of yourself, and make some appointments.

Do you keep an epilepsy diary? Moods, medication time, meals, amount of sleep, etc. All very helpful data used to by your epiletologist.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the replies. I’m not looking for help with comprehensive diagnostic or long term behavioral techniques. We have done all the things. We have an epileptologist, neuropsychologist, developmental pediatrician, geneticist, and all the therapies.

I’m just trying to figure out how to survive the next few days.

I’ve severely Injured my back from carrying/wrangling/wrestling him and now can barely walk, and DH is completely depleted. I’m feeling really worried about how to survive the day.

We have all the things too, OP with my very very similar child. When things are this bad we need to revisit meds with the epileptologist. Take videos, let them know what you’re seeing, and email them. Directly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the replies. I’m not looking for help with comprehensive diagnostic or long term behavioral techniques. We have done all the things. We have an epileptologist, neuropsychologist, developmental pediatrician, geneticist, and all the therapies.

I’m just trying to figure out how to survive the next few days.

I’ve severely Injured my back from carrying/wrangling/wrestling him and now can barely walk, and DH is completely depleted. I’m feeling really worried about how to survive the day.

Drop all demands. Let him wear what he wants to the beach. Spray sunscreen and give up. Bring food there. Switch off parents and rest your back.

Btdt. Screens in the morning. Timer. Beach with one parent on one parent off then bed.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the replies. I’m not looking for help with comprehensive diagnostic or long term behavioral techniques. We have done all the things. We have an epileptologist, neuropsychologist, developmental pediatrician, geneticist, and all the therapies.

I’m just trying to figure out how to survive the next few days.

I’ve severely Injured my back from carrying/wrangling/wrestling him and now can barely walk, and DH is completely depleted. I’m feeling really worried about how to survive the day.

Drop all demands. Let him wear what he wants to the beach. Spray sunscreen and give up. Bring food there. Switch off parents and rest your back.