Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 09:16     Subject: Number of kids
This all depends on the temperament of the kids, not the gender of the kids. Surely you see this right?
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 09:08     Subject: Number of kids
3 kids and a surprise baby on the way.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 08:48     Subject: Re:Number of kids
Anonymous wrote:Am friends with a lot of people with ~10 year old kids.

Those with 1 kid only? Marriage and life is good.

Those with 2 kids all girls? Marriage and life is good.

Those with 2 kids all boys? Marriage in the shitter.

No kidding, but I've had the convo with multiple friends in the last 2 months about how much more horrible 2 boys is versus all the other possibilities. No sex, verge of divorce, household is constant state of stress, yelling and chaos. But 2 girls in and around age 10? It's like there are three moms - making dinner, cleaning, and doing compliant work to make the house hold run better. Boys is literally what's pushing my friends to divorce.


Not true for everyone. We have 2 boys and yes it's challenging with the constant high energy. But DH has a ton of fun with them and our marriage is fine.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 08:43     Subject: Number of kids
Anonymous wrote:Jim Gaffigan said they having the 4th kid (or was it the 5th?) is as if you are drowning and someone hands you a baby.


I found the 4th to be a breeze. 2 and 3 we’re definitely the hardest. Now pregnant with number 5.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 08:37     Subject: Re:Number of kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am friends with a lot of people with ~10 year old kids.

Those with 1 kid only? Marriage and life is good.

Those with 2 kids all girls? Marriage and life is good.

Those with 2 kids all boys? Marriage in the shitter.

No kidding, but I've had the convo with multiple friends in the last 2 months about how much more horrible 2 boys is versus all the other possibilities. No sex, verge of divorce, household is constant state of stress, yelling and chaos. But 2 girls in and around age 10? It's like there are three moms - making dinner, cleaning, and doing compliant work to make the house hold run better. Boys is literally what's pushing my friends to divorce.


Okay I was giving you the benefit of the doubt and then got to the part about how the daughters are cooking and cleaning. What the actual F.


I’m the PP you’re responding to. Like it or not, my friends with daughters - the daughters are big into being people pleasers at that age. Whether they clean and cook (and do their homework, and make their bed, and all the other Bs) without asking because they’re trying to keep the parents happy, or they’re doing it compliantly after being asked…. In either case, the girls are being little adult contributors to the house. Per dcum, most of your dhs aren’t doing that. So yeah, for better or worse, my description of being extra moms helping around the house stands.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 08:23     Subject: Number of kids
I have 3, 2 girls and then a boy. It was hard when they were very little, but now it’s amazing. They play, chat, support each other… even the occasional fight I think it’s god for them. It was the perfect choice!
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 08:19     Subject: Re:Number of kids
We had two under two—girl and boy. We needed IVF for the first. Not sure we would’ve ever tried for a second but we ended up with a pleasant surprise oops baby. It’s been very intense having them close in age but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 07:47     Subject: Re:Number of kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am friends with a lot of people with ~10 year old kids.

Those with 1 kid only? Marriage and life is good.

Those with 2 kids all girls? Marriage and life is good.

Those with 2 kids all boys? Marriage in the shitter.

No kidding, but I've had the convo with multiple friends in the last 2 months about how much more horrible 2 boys is versus all the other possibilities. No sex, verge of divorce, household is constant state of stress, yelling and chaos. But 2 girls in and around age 10? It's like there are three moms - making dinner, cleaning, and doing compliant work to make the house hold run better. Boys is literally what's pushing my friends to divorce.


Fwiw I have 2 and 2, and they’re all grown. Unfortunately those dynamics are about to flip - teenage girls are soooomething else.


Some are. Some of us get lucky.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 03:41     Subject: Re:Number of kids
Anonymous wrote:Am friends with a lot of people with ~10 year old kids.

Those with 1 kid only? Marriage and life is good.

Those with 2 kids all girls? Marriage and life is good.

Those with 2 kids all boys? Marriage in the shitter.

No kidding, but I've had the convo with multiple friends in the last 2 months about how much more horrible 2 boys is versus all the other possibilities. No sex, verge of divorce, household is constant state of stress, yelling and chaos. But 2 girls in and around age 10? It's like there are three moms - making dinner, cleaning, and doing compliant work to make the house hold run better. Boys is literally what's pushing my friends to divorce.


Fwiw I have 2 and 2, and they’re all grown. Unfortunately those dynamics are about to flip - teenage girls are soooomething else.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 02:59     Subject: Number of kids
Anonymous wrote:Jim Gaffigan said they having the 4th kid (or was it the 5th?) is as if you are drowning and someone hands you a baby.


Ehh, kinda. There's a reason he's popular with TradCaths and Mormons if that makes a difference to you. He's pretty disingenuous on the kid front and that's a nice quip but it's his schtick.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 02:43     Subject: Re:Number of kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am friends with a lot of people with ~10 year old kids.

Those with 1 kid only? Marriage and life is good.

Those with 2 kids all girls? Marriage and life is good.

Those with 2 kids all boys? Marriage in the shitter.

No kidding, but I've had the convo with multiple friends in the last 2 months about how much more horrible 2 boys is versus all the other possibilities. No sex, verge of divorce, household is constant state of stress, yelling and chaos. But 2 girls in and around age 10? It's like there are three moms - making dinner, cleaning, and doing compliant work to make the house hold run better. Boys is literally what's pushing my friends to divorce.


Okay I was giving you the benefit of the doubt and then got to the part about how the daughters are cooking and cleaning. What the actual F.


LOL I have 2 girls and they don’t exactly cook and clean and help run the house like you guys might think! When it’s 2 girls it’s more like they are both Daddy’s girls and mommy has to do everything to keep them from not hating you!
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 02:38     Subject: Re:Number of kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am friends with a lot of people with ~10 year old kids.

Those with 1 kid only? Marriage and life is good.

Those with 2 kids all girls? Marriage and life is good.

Those with 2 kids all boys? Marriage in the shitter.

No kidding, but I've had the convo with multiple friends in the last 2 months about how much more horrible 2 boys is versus all the other possibilities. No sex, verge of divorce, household is constant state of stress, yelling and chaos. But 2 girls in and around age 10? It's like there are three moms - making dinner, cleaning, and doing compliant work to make the house hold run better. Boys is literally what's pushing my friends to divorce.


Okay I was giving you the benefit of the doubt and then got to the part about how the daughters are cooking and cleaning. What the actual F.

Why are 2 boys hard? Is it because they are rambunctious? Is there a dynamic that plays out with 2 boys that effects mom or dad more?
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2022 02:35     Subject: Number of kids
Jim Gaffigan said they having the 4th kid (or was it the 5th?) is as if you are drowning and someone hands you a baby.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2022 23:27     Subject: Number of kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Three boys and very happy with 3. Always wanted 4, but decided to stick with three because I was worried about giving enough attention and fully meeting the needs of 4 kids. 3 is perfect, and feels manageable and like a big family.


This is exactly how I feel about having three, too - we have a girl and two boys. When I was expecting the third, a friend who also has three told me that three is the magic number and I really do feel that it is. DH and I have thriving careers, we have plenty of time for our kids and each other and friends, and we get these three awesome kids who (mostly) like each other and have fun together. It’s really cool.


Also 2 boys and 1 girl, and our family feels full and complete. DH would happily have a fourth, but I know in my gut I am not cut out for more.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2022 23:11     Subject: Re:Number of kids
Anonymous wrote:Thats cute several posters know what having only is without having an only We stopped with one as life is crazy busy and one is more than enough for us!


I am a PP and several of my close friends have an only.

Your life isn’t that crazy busy. Also it’s not a competition. It’s okay and normal that one child would be less work than more children. How would it not be?