Buy the Duggar cookbook.

Anonymous wrote:There's no hard-and-fast rule when it comes to family gatherings. You look at the who/what/where/when, and then you make plans and ask for help accordingly.

Some people like to be considerate of others, though. If you invited your family of 7 people, and SIL invited her family of another X people, and the hosts are asking for help, it helps to have a little self-awareness.

Not to pile on, but even many parents who planned for their retirement have felt the pinch of the economy. Multiple that by many grandchildren and four more adults for ten days -I know the food bills are huge sticker shock for my parents, so we buy as much of the food as we can while we visit.

There's no hard-and-fast rule when it comes to family gatherings. You look at the who/what/where/when, and then you make plans and ask for help accordingly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF, OP you thought your MIL would be waiting on you hand a foot along with the 6 other people in your family for 10 days because you think you're going to an all inclusive resort? You suck. Big time. This is nothing like hosting 2 additional people who can largely take care of themselves. All you have to do is add 2 extra plates at dinner since you likely have enough food anyway. Not comparable to going from 2 to 7 people. Clean up after your own damn kids at least when it comes time to doing dishes.

Sorry, going from 2 to 9 people. That's a lot of extra mouths for someone not used to cooking for a brood.

OP has 5 kids, so that’s +7. “SIL and family” also invited themselves and who knows how many kids there. The total over 9.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I actually really appreciate the perspective. I guess I’m just used to cooking for more of a crowd and I didn’t stop to think about it from another perspective. I can fully acknowledge when I’m wrong, so thank you!!

This may be a DCUM first! Way to go OP!

+1. Yay OP!

Anonymous wrote:WTF, OP you thought your MIL would be waiting on you hand a foot along with the 6 other people in your family for 10 days because you think you're going to an all inclusive resort? You suck. Big time. This is nothing like hosting 2 additional people who can largely take care of themselves. All you have to do is add 2 extra plates at dinner since you likely have enough food anyway. Not comparable to going from 2 to 7 people. Clean up after your own damn kids at least when it comes time to doing dishes.

Sorry, going from 2 to 9 people. That's a lot of extra mouths for someone not used to cooking for a brood.

WTF, OP you thought your MIL would be waiting on you hand a foot along with the 6 other people in your family for 10 days because you think you're going to an all inclusive resort? You suck. Big time. This is nothing like hosting 2 additional people who can largely take care of themselves. All you have to do is add 2 extra plates at dinner since you likely have enough food anyway. Not comparable to going from 2 to 7 people. Clean up after your own damn kids at least when it comes time to doing dishes.

Anonymous wrote:Just forward everything to your DH and ignore.

This. You already said what the deal is, stop engaging.

I will also add that when I go to my moms, I cook at least half the time. She just isn’t used to or really able to cook for a bunch of people anymore. She makes Christmas dinner and that wears her out. I and 3 kids will be there 4 nights. I will take us out once, cook twice, and she will cook once.
Cooking for a crowd gets much harder with age. Large, heavy pots, all that time on your feet, chopping, etc. for someone with arthritis, or a bad back, or who has bad knees, is going to struggle. I try to keep that in mind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I actually really appreciate the perspective. I guess I’m just used to cooking for more of a crowd and I didn’t stop to think about it from another perspective. I can fully acknowledge when I’m wrong, so thank you!!

This may be a DCUM first! Way to go OP!

Op here - thanks!

10 days is a long time for someone else to make your meals. When I host I cook, but never for that long. I don’t blame your in laws for asking that you chip in with cooking for a night or two.

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I actually really appreciate the perspective. I guess I’m just used to cooking for more of a crowd and I didn’t stop to think about it from another perspective. I can fully acknowledge when I’m wrong, so thank you!!

This may be a DCUM first! Way to go OP!

Op here - I actually really appreciate the perspective. I guess I’m just used to cooking for more of a crowd and I didn’t stop to think about it from another perspective. I can fully acknowledge when I’m wrong, so thank you!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lesson learned - you should do a meal planning document when they visit you from now on! Why are they getting a free ride when you don't

I’d never, ever actually do this, but gosh is it so tempting. They have already invited themselves to come in February, May, summer visit and then October. I have five children, DH works lots of hours and I homeschool several of the kids. I’m busy 😂

Hold up FIVE kids? Do you get how them hosting a family of, holy crap, seven?! isn’t the same as you hosting two elderly people?

Exactly my point.